Rough Landing

Posted on Thu Aug 22nd, 2024 @ 11:29pm by Jean Grey & Scott Summers

Mission: Episode 5: Days of Fortune Past
Location: Baxter Building | Manhattan
Timeline: October 18th, 1990

The hum of the X-Corp loaner jet was a low, steady drone as Scott piloted through the night sky, his mind far from the controls. The black expanse of the twinkly star ocean stretched out overhead, far above the distant New York City lights just beginning to glow on the horizon. Inside the cockpit, the instrumentation panel reflected off his ruby-quartz visor, casting a red light across his face.

Scott had thought he had come to terms with his decisions. He had returned to Jean, the one true love of his life, his forever soulmate, the one he had fought and almost died for. But tonight, as he left Aurora behind at the X-Mansion, her words clung to him like a shadow, haunting him with guilt. The visit to Muir Island had been necessary—Aurora's pregnancy was irregular on the best of days, still progressing at an alarming rate, and the Mutant Research Center was their best hope for understanding it. Yet, the medical visit had been a stark reminder of what Scott had done to her.

Aurora’s confession still echoed in his mind. She was grieving, not just for herself, but for the family they would never have, for the home that would remain unbuilt. Both orphans, both seeking something more—a family, a sense of belonging—but all she was left with now was an unborn child and the cold reality of a future without him.

Scott’s hands tightened around the controls. He had thought he could compartmentalize, that he could leave Aurora’s pain behind when he left her at the mansion. But her words stung him, slipping through the cracks of his resolve to move past his mistakes in their reminder of the promises he had failed to keep and the hearts he had broken along the way.

He thought had already made peace with the guilt of abandoning Aurora once, but now it was back, more potent and piercing than before. Growing up without a family was one thing. Having one’s family ripped away was quite another. That was exactly what he had done with the annulment. And now, because of him, she was left alone, carrying the child of a man who would never love her.

As Scott entered the city’s airspace, he ignored the squawking of flight control by letting the onboard computer transmit the automated flight plan that the X-Corp’s avionics synchronized with FAA scheduling and allowed for regular flights without disruption. If only he could dismiss the buzz inside his head and the ache in his heart at the recent look he’d been forced to take at the consequences of his actions.

The vertical landing on the roof of the Baxter Building may as well have been on autopilot for the rote fluidity in which Scott accomplished it. His mind was already on Jean who was almost surely asleep in their condo 5 floors down. She was his refuge and his place of rest. He would go to her as he always did. If only he was not battered, bruised, and broken when he did so.

Scott entered a quiet and dimly lit condo. It wasn’t as welcoming of an arrival as he could have hoped for but the consideration of leaving the light on did help ease some of his weary sadness. His assumption was right, Jean had already gone to bed but she had left a single light on in the hallway for him. As he made his way through their home, his keen eye couldn’t help but notice the clues that had been left behind.

A tape from Blockbuster was on the coffee table in the living room along with a wine glass and a can of Pepsi. The evidence had shown that Jean wasn’t completely alone after work, that Bobby had joined her for dinner and a movie. There was some comfort in knowing that she hadn’t been alone all night but it was strange that Jean had left the glass and can on the table. Always tidy, it wasn’t like her to leave items like that behind.

Scott picked up the glass and the can and carried them into the kitchen. As he discarded the empty can, the answer to his previous point of concern had been discovered. Inside the trash can was an empty bottle of wine and an empty pint of ice cream. Tipsy and sad herself, it was now obvious why Jean had left the living room cluttered.

Heading down the hall, Scott found the door to their bedroom open a few inches. The crack of light from the hallway shone on their bed and Scott immediately recognized Jean's figure beneath the covers. Her back to him, Jean’s river of red hair flowed down her pillow and back as she slept, her shoulder slowly rose and fell from her deep and easy breathing.

As Scott approached her, the last bit of evidence came into view. Several wrinkled and crushed tissues were scattered across her nightstand along with a bottle of sleeping pills. That last revelation was the one that hit the hardest, medication had been the doctor's answers to controlling her telepathy before Xavier found her. Combined with the drugs that had been given to her while she was held captive, they were an item Jean went out of her way to avoid. To drive her to take them tonight, it meant that she had been desperate to find peace while he was away.

It was tempting to leave her like this, asleep and serene, but Scott knew she had wanted him to wake her when he returned despite the great lengths she had gone to find rest. So with a gentle nudge Scott woke her.

Jean inhaled deeply as she roused and Scott felt her telepathic presence return, its light much brighter than that from the hall. She rolled over and looked up at him, her eyes groggy and unfocused at first much like when he had found her on Krakoa.

“You’re home…” Jean’s voice was faint and distant at first but her clarity was slowly returning “But you’re so sad. What happened?”

“Nothing terribly exciting,” Scott said, forcing a wan smile despite his burdens. “It can wait until morning. I just wanted to see your face.” He didn’t bother hiding his feelings, not his renewed remorse over Aurora nor his concern for her troubled evening. She would only detect them anyway and feel pushed away for having to go searching for what he always gave freely.

After giving her a smile, he walked toward his side of the bed where he sat down and began removing his shoes, one foot at a time. He had flown thousands of miles that day, seated for hours and hours on end, yet when he felt the familiar bounce of the mattress, he still felt a load come off. Anxiety from thinking about his conversation with Aurora crept upon him from the corners of his mind, but he did his best to push it back for the sake of peace. He planted his hands behind him and leaned back before releasing the buildup in a deep sigh.

Jean shed the sheets as she sat up and moved closer to Scott while remained on the bed. Sitting down on her knees behind him, she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. The warmth of her body pressed against him was even more comforting than the mattress beneath them, he was home now.

“Scott, my love, you’re so upset. I don’t want it to wait until morning.” Jean rested her chin on his shoulder as she held onto him. His pain was her pain and Jean wanted nothing more than to weather it with him. “You can show me rather than tell me.”

Her psychic touch moved through and across him as he willingly shared his thoughts and memories of the day's events. He felt her sigh in remorse as his heavy and weighted concerns were divulged to her. Jean briefly squeezed him in reassurance as his thoughts returned to the present. There were no barriers between them and Jean would always be his safe space to share the hardest parts of his life, even the parts that might hurt her in return.

“Nothing exciting?” She turned her head and kissed his cheek. “Exciting or not, there is a lot to unpack over today. Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat while we talk? Or a bath? Or staying here is fine too.” In her gentle way Jean was firm with him, there would be no waiting and sleepless night dwelling on his problems. They would face all of this now, together.

“A bath sounds nice, actually…” Scott said as he leaned into Jean’s embrace. “My rear is killing me.” But he was in no hurry to move. Instead he rested his cheek against Jean’s face, his skin still tingling from the peck she’d given. “That was nice though.”

Transcontinental flights were a feat in themselves. Doing two in one day with the estranged mother of his unborn son was as close to hell as he ever wanted to get. Scott had experienced the full gamut of emotions more than once. Everything from stress, anger, joy, guilt, and remorse had saturated him and left him hung out to dry. Feeling Jean’s soft arms wrapped around him with her warm breath on his neck and face felt like a scarf to his soul, enriching him with all the creature comforts that only Jean’s physical and psychic touch could provide. “Ahhh…” he moaned softly. “Part of me doesn’t want to get up.”

“You don’t have to get up just yet,” The water in the bathroom began to run thanks to her telekinesis. “I have a few tricks to make the mundane a little easier.”

Jean kissed his check and the side of his neck a few more times. Her affection was more to comfort than to excite but there was always that moment of frisson that occurred when they were close to one another. She unbuttoned his shirt and unbuckled his belt but before her hands continued their exploration of his body a pang of sadness took over. There were layers to her heartache, some of them rooted in old issues but also some distress over all the new events he had shared with her. Jean paused and held him for another long measure of time.

“I’m glad you’re back,” she murmured close to his ear. “I missed you.”

Scott felt himself turn aflutter when Jean's hands began to pull his clothing away. Her touch was deft as it was warm, making her like sunshine on a crisp, wintry day. Just the caress of her hands across his body began to thaw the iceberg he'd surrounded himself with on the way home.

“I missed you too,” Scott said, eyes closed and smiling. “Getting back to you was all I could think about.”

A touch of sadness floated across their psychic rapport and gave Scott pause. It wasn't overwhelming, more like being startled awake when nodding off to sleep. “Hm? What was that?”

There was no use in deflection. Although Scott wasn't a telepath, there was no hiding her emotions from him. He just lacked the context of private thoughts. Sliding forward enough to turn and face her, Scott held her hands in his. “Jean, what's the matter?”

“It’s just a lot,” Jean confessed as she averted her eyes “And I wish it wasn’t.” It was a pointless musing, one that didn’t erase the past or change the future but it was one she couldn’t escape. The confession brought up even more challenging feelings, there was forgiveness but there was also lingering sorrow.

“Yeah… I get that,” he said with a weary sigh.

She looked towards the bathroom and the running water stopped. Jean moved to stand but continued to hold his hand. “Come on, your bath is ready.”

Scott smiled at her. “Thank you, Jean.” He pushed back the grunge of the day and focused entirely on her for just that moment. “I mean it. For everything. I’d say that I don’t know what I’d do without you… but I just had an all day reminder.” He frowned. “Didn’t like a minute of it.”

Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. He reached into his jean pockets for what he had tucked away back on Muir Island. What he retrieved was the only thing to make it all worthwhile. “I have a copy of the sonogram, if you want to see it.”

He stopped unfolding it around the halfway mark, suddenly wondering whether she did. This should’ve been their baby, one they’d made together. As supportive as she’d been, this could actually be rather brutal. “Or maybe another time.”

“Of course I want to see.” Jean took the sonogram photos from him and stepped into the doorway to the bathroom. She reached out and turned on the bathroom light to see better.

She was quiet for a long time after that as Jean poured over every image. She traced the outline of his profile with her finger and continued every finger and toe. Jean didn’t say anything out loud but a single thought passed through her mind. ~* ‘He’s perfect.’ *~

Unintentionally, her freehand dropped down to her own stomach as she lost herself in the pictures. When Jean finally realized where her hand was, she pulled it back in a sharp quick manner, as if her own skin burned her to the touch. Embarrassed and upset with herself, Jean set the sonogram pictures on the dresser just outside the door before she turned her back to Scott and hid in the bathroom.

A few sharp sobs echoed in the small tile room as Scott felt a dam of emotions break inside of Jean. Disgust and longing, anger and envy, sacrifice and mourning. They all came out at once in such a heavy hit that she couldn’t hide it from him, she couldn’t put on the brave and supportive face she promised herself she would provide. Covering her face with her hands, Jean let those hard and heavy feelings crash against her until she was awash in them.

Scott followed her inside the bathroom, removed his visor and set it on the sink, and then wrapped his arms around Jean from behind. His embrace was soft but solid, not letting her go anywhere. Holding her like she had held him, he sank his face into her shoulder and let loose his own tears.

Standing there, they wept together, grief mingling together as intimately as their passions in bed. Scott’s loose embrace quickly tightened to a firm squeeze. He held Jean close and let himself be broken by the flood she poured out to him. Soon the grief turned to anger, adding a growl to the anguish Jean expressed. Scott nodded in affirmation, not denying the truth of her unspoken but very clear expression.

Despite the wonderful joy of a perfect child in utero, there was so much loss represented there. It was something they had scarcely faced on their own in private, much less together. Scott sniveled a little, trying to bring himself under control so that he could be Jean’s rock, but he found himself swept away in the next torrent of her broken heart.

Jean often denied herself these moments of raw and unfiltered emotion. Deemed too dangerous for a telepath or telekinetic to express that degree of emotion, she often pulled back and regulated herself before things became hazardous. But there was something cathartic in Jean’s open expression of the pain she felt inside. She buried her face in Scott’s chest as her hands balled into fists and her sobs turned heaving gasping breaths. The loose items in the bathroom trembled and quaked from her telekinesis and Scott felt the stabbing pain in his mind of a psychic attack.

But he endured her painful sadness as his own grief mixed with hers and once a peak had been reached, Jean began to relent. Her sobs turned into silent whimpers and he felt the tension start to ease in her body and in both of their minds.

As she calmed further, there was an unexpected feeling of peace that filled the space. Like a terrible storm had passed and the sun could finally shine again.

~* ‘I’m sorry’ *~ She reached out to examine his face as if there was any indication there for the pain she had caused him. Despite his tightly shut eyes he still saw her in his mind’s eye along with that beautiful love for others that lived inside of Jean ~* ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’ *~

Once their poignant moment cooled to a dull ache, Scott retrieved his visor from the sink with a blind, deft grasp. Up close, Jean could see through the visor that his eyes were red and bloodshot, and not entirely from his own tears.

~You didn’t…~ It was a lie. He had to respond in thought form because his temples were too sensitive for him to speak without strain. Even the attempt made him wince.

~* ‘Don’t spare me from the truth.’ *~ Her fists opened and she caressed him. ~* ‘It was an accident, I shouldn’t have allowed myself to feel that much.’ *~ Scott felt her guilt and the burden her abilities created, Jean was denied the opportunity to let herself feel the true depth of her emotions for fear of the damage it would cause.

Rather than let her stew, Scott pressed his lips against hers. She tasted of salty tears, but the bitter kiss was far sweeter to his soul than the one she had lovingly placed on his cheek a moment before. ~I’m sorry too~ Even if the tears had finally ebbed, his heart was still broken for the consequences of his actions that Jean would forever bear because she dared to love him and refused to stop. ~I didn’t mean to hurt you either~

Jean leaned into him until the full weight of her body pressed against him and Scott had to wrap his arms around her to hold her up. Her kisses met his and they quickly deepened into romantic and cinematic expressions of their love for one another.

~* ‘I love you, Scott, forever and again’ *~ Her telepathic presence filled his mind and there was a soothing and cooling sensation like gentle spring rain that came with it. The raw and broken edges of his heart were cleansed, the salt rinsed away until the sting of the hurt faded.

Jean ran her fingers through his hair as she broke their kiss so that she might look at him. There was defeat in her eyes from the crushing weight of everything they had endured. It was a mountain of pain yet still they managed to survive because along with that agony there was hope. Hope for a better future for them and for the world. An infallible feeling of optimism that they could overcome anything as long as they were together. It was that beautiful glimmer of hope in Jean’s eyes that made both of them believe in their future together.

She took a step back from him and finished her previous attempt to undress him before she made quick work of her own clothing. The shedding of those layers brought them back to that bare and naked place, the struggles of the day discarded with them.

Jean climbed into the tub first before she invited Scott to lean back against her. Once submerged and settled in the warm and aromatic water, she had him rest his head on her shoulder. Turning off the bathroom light, the room turned dark and serene with only a touch of hallway light managing to invade the space.

She held him close to her as Jean’s hands traveled down the length of his chest and back again. It was amazing how quickly they could find that much needed comfort in one another. An easy peace that togetherness brought.

The hot water flushed Scott’s skin, but his aching joints and bones welcomed the heat like dry ground soaking up rain. Jean’s breasts against his shoulders and her hands roaming his chest created a cocoon of comfort and peace that drew the stress and weariness of the day out of his soul as well. He squeezed one of her hands for a moment in thankfulness.

“It’s good to be home,” he whispered into the dim light, “with you.” He took a deep breath and let it out long and slow. Fatigue and turmoil from his journey eke out along with it. Scott leaned his head back so that he could better listen to the sound of Jean’s breathing. “I needed this. I needed you.”

Reaching down to her legs, Scott began massaging her calves clear down to the ankles and back again. The slow, fluid motions made the most of the hot bathwater, driving its heat into Jean’s muscles and joints. “From the looks of it, you had some night with Bobby.”

“I had a night, Bobby just witnessed it dumbstruck and slack jawed,” Jean chuckled a little from her summary. “That’s not entirely true, he wanted to keep me company. He knew I was upset and he didn’t want me to be alone.” She reached out for the bar of soap and began to lather her hands. “I… I had a hard time tonight. It was harder than I was expecting it to be.”

Scott rolled over to his stomach, slowly to prevent sloshing, and looked up into Jean’s face. “Yeah? I had a feeling, even before I came home and found the evidence.” He let Jean see the memories of him noticing the untidy state of their apartment, particularly the empty ice cream carton and the volumes it spoke, in order to share his recognition and understanding of what she had gone through. “That’s why I said you’re coming with us next time. I really think it would be best for everyone…” He paused for a second before affirming the hot-button detail. “... including Aurora.”

Jean nodded her head in agreement, she didn’t want to endure another day like today but the reason why she was invited was less than ideal. “Because the polite conversation was uncomfortable? Or because the two of you had some heated words? Or because you lost your temper? Or all of the above?”

“All of the above and then some,” Scott admitted. “Admittedly she said some terrible things that I doubt she would have the audacity to say to your face, but aside from that, I’m hoping we made some progress toward burying the hatchet and moving past the stupidity of right now. I don’t know whether or not I got through to her, but I’ve got to hope she at least heard some of the good parts.”

Scott slid himself forward, propping himself up enough to keep from sinking Jean below the water while he rested his jaw along her shoulder. As he spoke, his lips tickled the skin along her neck where her hair met her neckline. “She’s jealous of us, Jean. Like Bobby but with a different context. Him staying with us gave me that insight. If we can help her over this hump…” Poor choice of words, Scott realized all too late. He quickly moved past it. “... then she’ll be better for it. And what’s better for her is better for the baby.” After making his case, he kissed her neck with tender affection before saying, “Plus I don’t want to spend another day away from you, so there is that too.”

“Scott.” Jean didn’t quite sneer at his comment but her irritation was obvious. She placed a hand on his shoulder to convey her unhappiness and to stop his canoodling. “I’m not helping Aurora overcome her jealousy or any of her other personal problems. I’ll acknowledge them and do my best to give her the space she needs but I’m not helping her with her personal strife. I make no apologies for who I am or how I feel about you and I won’t hide it either.”

Jean returned the soap to its dish and abandoned the lather that had developed on her hands by dipping them into the water. “I will train her on how to use her abilities because I don’t want her or anyone else to get hurt. I’ll be civil towards her because she is the mother of your child and we will have to co-parent together. But I am not her friend and I’m not helping her on her quest for self discovery. I spoke my part, she did unethical things, her behavior as a telepath was an abuse of her power. Has she reflected on that? Discussed it with the Professor? Admitted any of her wrongdoings or the role she played in seducing you?”

There was an uncomfortable pause as they both knew the answers to Jean’s questions. No.

“Until she at least acknowledges her own shortcomings and makes an effort to improve upon them, my consideration for Aurora ends there.” Another pause occurred as Jean reflected on what had happened on this trip. “Walk her down the aisle? Jesus Christ, Scott. You were so drunk you could hardly stand or reason when she climbed on top of you.”

Jean suddenly hated the bathtub and the position she was in with him, it all felt too similar and it made her stomach sick. “I don’t know if I can do this right now.”

“Hey…” Scott couldn’t deny the truth of everything Jean was saying. Sometimes recalling everything that had happened to him felt like watching a movie, like it was someone else’s life or another person had been calling the shots. It was confusing and shameful, but at the most it was enraging. “If I could go back and kick my own ass, I would. But I let her do those things to me. I didn’t say no. I wish to every god and demon any man has ever prayed to that I didn’t, but I did. I let her hurt me just like she let me hurt her. But here’s the thing, Jean…”

For a moment, Scott wasn’t sure if he could continue. The mirror Jean had held up was so bright and illuminating that it was hard to focus on anything other than the rude awakening of what she had brought to light.

“... if I wait for Aurora to grow up and take responsibility for herself before I move on, then I might be waiting forever. I can’t afford that. We can’t afford that. I don’t care if she’s a brat or the Queen of the Damned. I know who I am. I’m the bigger person… or at least I want to be.” His voice was hushed with emotion. “Can’t you see that?”

“You’re not responsible for her.” Jean’s chest tightened as they continued to speak and her pulse raced for all the wrong reasons. “If you are responsible for your own actions then so is she. If she was foolish enough to think twenty-one days with a person would result in timeless love, that is her delusion. This isn’t about you being the bigger person, this is about you wanting to be the good guy to everyone but you’ve trapped yourself in a catch-22.”

Jean’s bottom lip trembled as sorrow and rage returned and her voice dropped to a whisper in order to keep it from cracking. “I consider myself to be a reasonable and understanding person. But of all the things I feel, my love for you is something I will defend and protect above everything else. I don’t want to be the bigger or the gracious person when it comes to loving you. I love you with my whole heart, unapologetically.”

What could he say? Again, she wasn’t wrong. Scott wanted to believe his dilemma was more than just people-pleasing, but he could barely make that argument to himself. Saying it aloud felt foolish.

“Always defend our love,” Scott said at length. “It’s what pulled us through. We can’t do anything that would jeopardize it. I wouldn’t ask you to. It’s just…” He closed his eyes and took a breath. “I can’t afford to hate her. If I do, then there is a whole other person who will suffer for it. For his sake, I can’t hold a grudge. I just can’t. I have to find a way to get past everything you’ve said, which was all true, and make peace with…” The words stung even him as he spoke them. “... the woman who is bringing my son into this world.”

“Peace? Is that what this is?” His words cut like a knife and Jean instinctively clutched her heart in response to the physical pain she felt. Scott saw that crushing hurt as it caused the light in her eyes to dim. “I understand you made the choice to share a part of yourself with someone else. I understand that now you want to make amends for the damage you’ve done. I understand that you’re forever tied to someone else.”

The use of that word, forever it hurt just as much as his own wounding words. Jean’s breathing became ragged from the physical discomfort this conversation was creating. This whole day had made her heartsick and she had expected Scott to alleviate that pain, but she was feeling more as they spoke. Jean conceded to that pain because fighting it only made it worse. “I guess I just need to make my own peace with that.”

“I guess we all do,” Scott agreed. For a moment, he was tempted to shield himself in his stoicism even from Jean. The pain of her displeasure was a scalding heat that threatened to burn him. If he was going to endure her anger and upset, he might need to brace himself for more to come. But in the end, that was not what he wanted.

“All I want is to make things right. Tell me what to do.” Scott resisted the urge to push Jean away from him and protect himself. Whatever he might feel when she was upset, he would feel it worse away from her. Even the hard rain in their shared psychic space was better than the drought of isolation. “I’ll do it,” he said, taking on a tone of pleading. “Whatever it takes, that’s what I’ll do. Just tell me.”

“I don’t want to tell you what to do. You’re my partner and I respect you. I just wish…” the hand that clutched her heart moved up to shoulder to cross and guard her body. “You wouldn’t commit yourself to more than is required. It’s a mixed signal that makes it confusing for her and hurtful to me. Find the boundaries and stick to them, even when she makes you feel guilty.”

Jean frowned before she continued and she braced herself for what she was about to say. “And I guess it’s the same for me. You have to know where you stand and what you want for yourself. I can’t guilt you or dictate it either. I just need to know what you are looking for so I can come to terms with it.”

All of that gave Scott tremendous pause. He had been trying to follow his conscience and do the right thing. When he yelled at Aurora, it was after a gross mischaracterization of himself and a summary dismissal of Jean as a suitable stepmother. In hindsight, that outburst really had been a long time in coming.

“Do you really think that’s what’s happening here?” Scott felt his stomach give out with total uncertainty in himself. “I know my guilty conscience has had me all over the place, but do you think it’s become a matter of manipulation?” He was almost too afraid to ask the question that was dominating his attention. “Do you think she’s manipulating me… or maybe my mind?”

Even saying it aloud made Scott shudder from head to toe. “I trust you, Jean. Search me if you think so. I… I can’t let those hooks get in me again.”

“I think she is very sad and she sees you as a source of her sadness and wants to remind you of that.” Jean sighed as she considered how to proceed with this, “Aurora sees herself as a victim and if you feed into that narrative you will start to feel like her abuser. You will feel guilty and indebted to her because of that. What do you think you are personally responsible for in her life?”

Reframed in that way, Scott began to see it a little differently. He blinked several times, internally checking off a list of things he was not responsible for. “I am responsible for… helping her with the baby.” That felt incomplete, so he thought again. “That doesn’t feel good enough, like I should do more. But that’s all I can come up with that doesn’t immediately get crossed off the list. Why do I feel this way? I don’t see myself as her abuser…”

“Maybe it’s more about being a hero… but you feel guilty for ruining her dream of the family she wants to have. You feel guilty because you enjoyed being intimate with her. You feel guilty because you think you ruined her life. So now you feel obligated to fix her, to give her a happy ending so your own remorse goes away. Then you can enjoy your life without regret because she’s happy too.” Jean looked down at her wrinkled pruney fingers. “It’s not just being responsible for your actions, it’s trying to save her.”

“I enjoyed it in the moment, but now it makes me sick,” Scott blurted out. “I just… it’s hard to even think about, like I’d lost my mind and now it’s impossible to understand.” Realizing that wasn’t really Jean’s point, he tried to move on from it. “Happy endings, though. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I feel like I owe her a new one because I ruined it.” His mouth curved in a half smirk, half grimace. “But that’s not on the list of things I really owe her, is it?”

Scott ran his hands over his face and took a double handful of his own hair. “What is wrong with me? Just when I had this straightened out, I find myself all twisted up again.” After releasing his face and hair, he reached for Jean’s hands. “Can you help me? Let me know if I’m doing it again. Giving in to guilty thinking and taking on things I shouldn’t.” He nodded affirmatively. “That’s what I want. I need to keep free from this mess I’m tangling myself with, and I probably need your help to do it.”

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Jean’s voice softened as it took on its soothing tone. “You’re a good person, Scott, you want to help people. You see pain and suffering and you want to stop it.”

Her hands slipped out of his so that she could pull him in close to her. Jean brought his head to rest on her shoulder as she stroked his hair in that manner that comforted both of them. Scott’s focus could become so narrow in a moment that he lost sight of the bigger picture. This moment was no different, he wanted to care for Aurora, to find a way to love her for the gift she was giving him. So in those moments he would offer everything he could even if it hurt him.

Once held securely against the safety of Jean’s shoulder, Scott’s chin began to quiver. The cluster of emotions he had been suppressing began bubbling up the surface, coaxed by gentle and gracious understanding. Scott clung to Jean as tightly as during any climax.

“If you stumble, I’ll catch you. If you are injured, I will heal you. And if you are blinded, I’ll help you see.” Jean promised him her whole self and everything she was because she loved him unconditionally. She held him for a long moment as she let him feel that love, a brief pause to collect themselves.

All Scott could do was nod against her body. He wasn’t withholding his feelings from Jean. It was just a lot to feel all at once and he needed to break it down so that it could be processed rather than detonated. Everything she was saying felt like aloe on a burn though.

“This is hard for me,” she confessed but that part was obvious. “My heart is hardened to some of these choices because they hurt so badly… but we need each other to find balance. It’s not a matter of you or me, we face all of this as us.”

~That’s all I want~ Scott expressed between them in their psychic rapport. ~It’s all I ever wanted. I need you to stay gracious with someone I can’t avoid or ditch, and you need me not to fall off the deep end. Those are things we can’t do for each other without mutual support~

After that release, Scott went from a chin quivering with barely contained feelings to nuzzling the side of Jean’s neck. Fighting with her was worse than fighting with himself. The only way through everything that was happening was together. That was Scott’s one sure thing.

“I love you so much,” he whispered once his lips were free. “Never alone, always together. That’s how we’ll get through this and everything else.” One quiet, indulgent whimper later, he added, “Because I’ll always be there to catch you too.”

“I love you, Scott.” Jean’s shoulders dropped and he felt the tension from their conversation leaving her body. Everything that had happened to Jean while she was abducted had been horrific and brutal, and everything she had come home to had been devastating anguish. It would have been so easy for her to break, to shatter in pieces so small and fractured that she might never recover. Only in these moments, with Scott in her arms did Jean feel like she could endure. She believed in their love because it had saved her and restored her. And when their minds and bodies entwined she felt the same inside of Scott. She hated herself for doubting him because in the end, this was all he wanted too.

Jean turned her head towards his in a silent request for more and Scott seamlessly obliged. Their lips met in a sweet and tender kiss, gentle affection that soothed and alleviated their hurt. Scott’s arrival home had been riddled with turbulence but in the end he had found his safe place to land.