The Mirror of Your Dreams
Posted on Wed Nov 8th, 2023 @ 4:25pm by Scott Summers & Aurora Summers
Edited on on Thu Nov 9th, 2023 @ 1:39am
Mission:
Episode 3: X-Tra Ecclesiam
Location: X-Mansion / Dreamworld
Timeline: August 15th, 1990 - Night
[Warning: Mild Adult Content - Reader Discretion is Advised]
When Scott went to sleep that night, it came more swiftly than before. He'd had a full day to process his misery, his lapses in judgment, his confusion which at times struggled to tell Jean and Aurora apart. His talk with Tammy had helped, surprisingly. Despite her status as a student, Scott had begun to cherish her bubbly optimism. She had told him the same thing as Aurora—the same thing as everyone, if he were honest.
Moving on didn't mean giving up and he needed to move on.
As much as he wanted to find his old team—his brother, his lover, his friends—he couldn't let either their absence or his search for them overtake his sanity. That was no way to live. It would make him a shell of a man and lead him to utter ruin where even if his friends were dead, they'd be better off as compared to him.
Letting go was wrong, so Scott refused to think in those terms. He was going to do whatever it took to locate his missing team. But, for tonight, he would seek to rest, perhaps for the first time in the past two months.
Sleep came to him dreamless at first, but after a time, a memory resurfaced that took shape in his mind's eye. It was when he first came to the X-Mansion at age 12, an orphan who was rescued by the Professor from an angry mob on a train. Despite the destruction his uncontrolled powers had ravaged, Professor Xavier still took him in and made him the first X-Man.
The Mansion appeared far bigger than in reality, its already vaulted ceilings ascending into indiscernible heights, its halls more cavernous like an ancient English castle rather than the colonial mansion it was in reality. But, as Scott walked through the oaken doors, he was not the young boy but rather his older self reliving the memories as best he could recall them.
Aurora had lain awake, staring at the ceiling. Her feelings for Scott were playing on her mind and she wished she understood better just what he was going through. That concentrated wondering combined with her more developed abilities to whisk her into Scott’s mind, into his dream, finding him all alone.
Wandering around the empty castle-like mansion, Scott thought he heard someone else. "Hello?" he called out, his voice 9 years older than when he had first lived this scenario. "Is someone there?"
Aurora froze. She wasn’t sure whether Scott would find her presence there a violation. She hadn’t planned to be in his dream as it was, it had simply happened. She was sure the Professor would be annoyed with her, he’d tell her that she should know better.
"It's... you." Scott had finally found her, his mind merging the rooms together until they finally occupied the same one. He smiled at first, but then it slightly faltered. "Have we met?" Clearly his mind was straddling the fence between conscious and subconscious, adrift in the sea of his own memory, unsure of what it was supposed to be aware of and when it was supposed to be aware of it. "Yeah... we've met," he said with more certainty. "I'm Scott, if you don't remember. I was starting to think I was the only one here."
Aurora paused to think what to say. “We have met, I’m Aurora. I don’t know if you remember me or not?” She looked at Scott curiously.
"Aurora..." Scott said her name slowly, letting it jog his memory.
The walls of the mansion evaporated like a mirage in a desert, giving way to the outside greenery. It was a more or less balmy day with plenty of daylight despite the overcast weather. In fact, it was an almost perfect recreation of over a week ago when they had talked together. Up on the overlook stood the sprawling tree where Scott had taken Aurora. A lone ran of sunshine shone down on it like a subtle spotlight. "Of course I remember you. Everything okay?"
Aurora smiled as she found herself back in the gardens, the spot had been so relaxing when Scott had taken her there. “Yes, I... just wasn’t sure you’d speak to me again that’s all.”
All at once, the scene split into multiple ghost images between several environments. A dark movie theater. A blanket under a starry night. A candlelit bedroom. A bubbling hot tub. All of them portrayed Scott and Jean in various phases of romantic expression, ranging from the affectionate to the erotic. In some of them, Aurora's face superimposed over Jean's.
"What do you mean?" Scott asked. When he did so, the montage of simultaneous memories vanished, leaving Scott and Aurora standing together beyond the mansion courtyard as they were a moment before. "Is something wrong?"
Aurora stood wide eyed for a moment, having seen the images in Scott’s mind with her face replacing Jean’s in some of them. She was finally starting to understand why Scott was so wary around her. “Scott, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even be here! I should just leave you alone.”
"Don't go!" Scott cried out. For a brief second, he sounded like a young boy, but his voice quickly returned to his normal self. "I'm all alone, Aurora. Please don't leave." They were back inside the Mansion, but it looked even darker than before, almost Gothic in its sharply angled fixtures and shadowed corners veiled by dim lighting from wall sconces and candlelit chandeliers. "I don't want to be alone."
Aurora nodded and smiled as her figure stepped closer. “You’re not alone, Scott, you have so many people here that care for you. I care, Scott, and I’m not going anywhere!” She held out her hand for him to hold. “Jean wouldn’t want you to be alone, Scott, she’d want you to be happy.”
"Jean..." At the mention of her name, Scott's glasses fell away along with his outer clothing. The dark castle-like setting of the mansion turned a crimson red as flames erupted everywhere, their heat burning away the darkness. And clothing. Scott stood before Aurora barefoot and shirtless, wearing only his slacks. "Jean, I've missed you."
From there, the distance between them closed as if by gravity pulling them together. The flames grew higher into a blazing inferno, but they were unburned. Scott's hands cupped Aurora on both sides of her face and drew her in for a soft and tender kiss, like he was afraid she would vanish if he weren't gentle enough. When nobody disappeared, Scott kissed again more firmly. "I'm sorry," he managed to mumble. "I'm so sorry. I won't leave you again."
Aurora closed her eyes, she so wanted Scott to be seeing her for who she was not for who he wanted her to be. She drew back for a moment. “Scott...I’m not Jean!” She pulled all the way back, suddenly feeling the heartache of the fact that Scott may never see her for who she was.
The fire burned down to embers, casting shadows every which way. Scott gasped. "Aurora... you're Jean? But... how?" A few tongues of fire licked at the air behind him.
“That’s just it, Scott, I’m NOT Jean!” She shook her head. “You want me to be her, but I’m not her and I can’t lead you on letting you think I’m someone I’m not.” She paused. “Jean is gone, Scott...you’re going to have to let her go.”
"NO!!!" The denial was a burst of rage that beat against the weight of what felt like inevitable doom. Scott fell to his knees as he wailed. "No, no, no!" he cried, head raised to the ceiling. "No... no..." Then, tucking his chin into his chest, he closed his eyes to hold back his tears. "No... I know... I know..."
Aurora’s eyes filled with tears as she watched before she moved to comfort him. “I’m so sorry, Scott, I know how much you love her, and how much Jean loves you. If I could be her I would...” she gently reached out a hand wiping away some of his tears. “Be strong Scott, don’t be afraid to face the world. You are stronger than you know.”
"She's gone," Scott said. "I'm here. She's gone, they're all gone, but I'm here." His voice was rhythmic. Looking up, the rhythm broke as he said, "And you're here." He took her hand which was moist from his tears and kissed the back of it. The flames got a bit brighter, though shadows still crept at the corners of the room. "Am I dreaming?" His thoughts were spoken aloud in this place. Looking down at himself, Scott realized he was only half-dressed. "Are you even real?" Scott stood up, still holding her tear-stained hand with his, then swept her hair back from one side of her face with the other. Heat from the growing flames reached them. Staring into her eyes, Scott searched for truth, for peace, for any kind of anchor. "Is this wrong?"
Aurora smiled. “I’m here, Scott, and it’s not wrong if you’re truly seeing me for who I truly am.” She gripped his hand. “I care for you, Scott, I have since the first time we walked in the grounds. I want to be there for you, to care for you, maybe even to...love you.”
"I don't remember what love is..." Scott kept staring deeply into her eyes. There was no need for his glasses, revealing his eyes to be a warm, chocolate brown. "Remind me, Aurora." His hand slid back into her red hair and grabbed a few locks. The feature practically reignited the surrounding flames back into the blazing inferno from before. "What is love again?"
Aurora looked deeply into Scott’s eyes, “Let me show you...” She leant into a gentle yet passionate kiss, her arms draping around Scott’s neck. She let it linger before she leant back. “Wake up, Scott...you know where to find me...let me show you what you’ve been missing.”
"Wake up?" Scott looked confused. "This really is a dream?" But the passion of her lips felt all too real. He wanted more. "I... I..."
Aurora wanted more as well, keeping her connection with Scott active she quickly and quietly made her way from her room to his. “Come to me, Scott," she said from within her dream. "I’m right outside, you just have to open the door...” She hoped he would open the door but she wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.
As if in a waking dream, Scott found himself back in his room, wearing even less than he was before. There were no flames of passion stoking the walls, no dramatic backdrop. Only surging passion fueled by his sense of grief and loss and the ardent hope that he would no longer feel alone.
The door opened by his own hand, though Scott felt adrift in his own body like a passenger on autopilot. He saw Aurora standing there in a flowing mid-thigh sleepshirt, looking hopeful and wary. Without a word, carried by the currents of his dream, Scott pulled her into his arms swift enough to let her hair fly and form a shroud about them.
Aurora wasn’t going to refuse Scott, she wanted this and was ready to take it as far as Scott wanted to go. Her fingers ran through his hair as she looked at him. Her passion was fueled by a connection she’d felt with Scott since the first time she’d met him. She kissed him passionately, letting him feel everything he’d wanted to feel, intending to show him love and so much more.
Lost somewhere between reality and fantasy, Scott ran his fingers through Aurora's hair as he braced the back of her head. His tongue teased along her lips, probing, a fervent request. Feeling her fingers in his own hair and tasting her hot breath in his mouth, Scott gave himself over to the impulses that flowed between them. Breathing came faster and more shallow. The heartache inside slowly rose up from deep within and seeped outward through every kiss. It didn't feel good; it was sweet relief from the throbbing pain he'd held inside for so long. He hoisted her off the ground with ease and held her against him.
Aurora encouraged Scott, her fingers continuing to trace through his hair before running down his neck and along the skin of his back. Her breathing was showing the excitement of the moment, ragged and strong.
Holding her firmly against him, Scott felt her hips roll against his midsection with the encouragement of his hand which braced the small of her back. He pivoted on his feet toward his unmade bed and laid her on it. Nimble fingers went for the loose buttons on her sleepshirt and worked them free.
Aurora might have made all the right moves, and all the right vocal cues but truth be known this was the first time she’d let anyone get this far. Her fingers took in all there was of his upper torso, tracing his skin with a gentle yet firm caress as she waited for what was to come. She was ready to let her precious virginity go, showing Scott what it was to feel true love again.
The shedding of clothes ended quickly. It was a simple thing, though it was a barrier that could never be uncrossed, like Julius Caesar and the Rubicon. But the look in her eyes, pledging adoration and desire, compelled Scott to continue. One hand bracing the back of her head, the other wrapped around her middle, he prepared himself for the insertion.
Aurora was ready as she looked into Scott's eyes, there was no fear as she encouraged him. “Do it, Scott, make love to me...” Her fingers trailed down his back, her hands conveying the urgency she felt, gently urging him to take that which no man had taken before.
With her legs wrapped around him, Scott needed little incentive to take the final plunge. A groan came forth, one of physical pleasure and emotional release. He paused there, just as they were, and kissed her mouth, savoring the moment.
Aurora hadn’t let the initial pain she’d felt at losing her virginity escape her lips, instead she returned Scott’s kiss with the romance of the moment. He may not have known he was her first, and she wasn’t going to spoil it. She encouraged him onward wanting to enjoy every moment she could of their night together.
The room was filled with passion, quiet cries and moans of pleasure. They joined together, two lost souls becoming one. Scott finished first while Aurora held onto him until the very last ebb of her climax before she lay back on the bed in euphoric bliss.
It had been so long and Aurora had been so loving, Scott couldn't bring himself to stop. Her keening cries of ecstasy only galvanized him. They went straight into another round, much more fervent than before. Scott quickly threw his head up toward the ceiling and howled Aurora's name in a near falsetto, his voice cracking in pitch.
Whether it was Scott’s passion that was feeding into her own or not, as fast as Scott was climaxing it was driving Aurora to do the same. Crying Scott’s name over and over as her passion levels rose exponentially, her body taking what it needed from their love making and the spark of new life began within her. Not that Aurora had any idea of what was occurring as she shifted her position to sit upon Scott’s lap, kissing him with all the passion and fire she was feeling.
Scott thought he would be spent, but Aurora's forward advances summoned his reserves of vigor. He soon felt another surge and and threw his hands backward to keep himself from falling, leaving him propped up at an angle, head thrown back once more as he tried to speak Aurora's name. Only the first syllable and a half came out through the ecstatic shout.
Aurora was finally starting to tire as her climax followed Scott’s yet again, as they both collapsed onto the bed in a worn out tangle. Aurora smiled as she kissed Scott before laying her head on his shoulder. “That was....incredible!” She wasn’t sure if either of them would have the energy to go again, but she was happy to fall asleep in Scott’s embrace.
Eyes closed behind his glasses, Scott idly stroked Aurora's hair. "Yeah... it was." He kissed the top of her head. Confusion between Aurora and Jean had been burned away from him in the fires of passion. There was no mistaken identity. He had made love to Aurora as if there were no tomorrow. Yet tomorrow would come and he would have to face the new world they had made for themselves. There would undoubtedly be consequences. But, for now, he held the woman who had given him a night of passion to be followed by peaceful rest along with all of herself. Giving her a tight squeeze in his arms, he let his embrace convey what his clinical depression prevented his words from saying.
~Thank you... for everything... I don't deserve it any of it but thank you~
Aurora felt the emotion in Scott’s embrace, she didn’t expect to hear him profess love for her, at least not now but maybe one day he would. “Whenever you need me, Scott, I’ll be here.”
"Don't make promises you can't keep," Scott said. His old heartache began to raise its ugly head. "Life has a way of making liars out of all of us."
“I’m not making fake promises, Scott, I’m not going to leave you!” Aurora raised her head and looked into his glass covered eyes. “I’ll be at your side no matter what!”
Scott shook his head. "You can't know that," he whispered. "No one can. Trust me."
Aurora nodded. “I guess... none of us know our future, that’s why we need to live in the here and now. Right now I am in heaven here with you, I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
Why would she feel that way? What had he done to win such affection from her? Had he taken advantage of her? She came to him, but that didn't matter. He may have betrayed her even as she swore undying love for him. Such thoughts were like rain beating down on him yet her reassuring touch was like a raincoat. Whatever shame that Scott demanded of himself felt pushed away from the intense passion they had shared together. Wrong and right had no meaning in this moment. There was only darkness and light, and Aurora had somehow pulled him from one to the other.
"Right now..." he said. "... neither do I."
Aurora’s smile practically shone. “That means more to me than you could ever know.” She leant in for a loving kiss. “I know you can’t say it, Scott, but I will...I love you, and that’s not going to change.”
Although Jean was the only other person he had ever been with, Scott knew that people promised all sorts of things over pillow talk. He would not hold Aurora to her promise, sincere as it seemed and as calming as it felt to his aching heart. For now, she knew what she was doing as much as he did. Maybe she was hurting as much as he was over her own struggles. Her need for connection ran deep, that much was clear. Were they just helping each other over the hurdles of life as only a man and woman could together?
"Who did you lose?" Scott asked out of the blue. If she had faced loss and saw him as an out, he wanted to pull that thread.
Aurora hadn’t been expecting that question, it wasn’t like she’d thought about it lately either. “I...” She paused. “A friend, my best friend and the only man who ever came close to this. You were my first, Scott, because I wanted you to be. I’m not looking for someone to replace a lost love, I’ve been looking for a man who needed me and in my eyes that is you.”
So she did know loss as well. There were many times in their adventures that the X-Men nearly lost their lives. Against the Factor Three, against the Juggernaut, against the Sentinels who attacked the X-Men and Brotherhood at once. Jean and Scott could have snatched away from each other by the jaws of death at any point. Scott wondered what he would be like today if Jean had been killed before they ever admitted their love for each other. Would he be as free as Aurora was now?
"I'm sorry," he said at length. "If I'd known... I would've been more gentle."
“No, Scott” Aurora offered a smile. “You don’t have to be gentle with me. I’ve learned to be tough over my years on the streets. I didn’t have what you had with Jean, that’s what I want true love but not at the extent of forcing it on you. When you feel you’re ready, I’ll be waiting, and in the meantime I’ll be here with you whenever you need me.”
Jean... She was still out there somewhere, probably in heinous circumstances. Here he was in the arms of another woman. What kind of true love was that? The turmoil rekindled within him again with their earlier passion having begun to fade. "Do you really think she's out there, Aurora? I mean really? How could I be here with you now if she really is?"
Aurora felt pain at that question, was Scott regretting their time together already? “Are you regretting what’s happened between us, Scott? I don’t want you to feel guilty because of me.”
"I don't want to hurt anyone," Scott said, a hint of a mope behind his face that took up his familiar stoicism. "Not you, not Jean, not myself. I've let so many people down already..."
Aurora’s fingers gently trailed back and forth across Scott’s skin as she cuddled him. “You haven’t let anyone down. You’re lucky to be alive. You could have disappeared along with Jean and the others, so you’re lucky to be here." She moved up to straddle his lap, looking down at him. “Just enjoy tonight, Scott, because it’s going to be a memorable one.” With that she kissed him passionately and began the next round of passionate lovemaking.
This time, Scott returned her kisses as she straddled him but not before his emotional dam broke. The hard truth had been spoken in a blunt way that lanced the boil inside him. Blaming himself would not bring anyone back. It hurt like hell but he couldn't hold onto the pain anymore. He started weeping. Tears shed so hard he removed his glasses and threw his arm over his eyes until her kisses coaxed it away from his tear-stained face. With them came the telepathic tingle that came along with intimacy with a telepath.
"Touch my mind," Scott said, eyes still closed. "Let me feel you."
For it was then he was truly opened to her.
Aurora did as Scott asked, opening her mind to him, she let him feel the touch of her mind. “Open your eyes, Scott, look at me. You won’t hurt me.” She held up her hand to focus her telekinesis on his eyes. It would only be temporary without exhausting herself but it would allow Scott this opportunity to see her with his own eyes.
With their thoughts united as one, Scott trusted her and did as she suggested. Seeing himself through her eyes within his own mind, Scott watched himself opened his eyes until he looked upon Aurora in all her glory.
Through their connect, Scott could feel her admiration for him, both physically and emotionally. He also saw himself as a brave and powerful man who needed rescued from despair as surely as he had reached her from experimentation. He gazed upon her curvaceous body only to see deeper into the tenacious soul within. He saw a fiery fighter who would stop at nothing until her heart's desire was met, as well as her delight at being truly seen by him.
“I can’t...hold your powers back...anymore.” Aurora reached for his glasses gently placing them back on his face just in time. She threw her head back and cried out in pleasure.
Scott didn't slow down at all. Tears still flowed but they were soft and cathartic rather than hard and full of grief. He wept upon her chest until they were both spent. Scott felt like he had left his body and it took a moment for him to wind down and return to himself.
Aurora held onto Scott, comforting him. “It’s okay, Scott, let it out you’ll feel better for it.” She closed her eyes letting down every barrier she had, letting their very essence intertwine so he could feel the love she was lavishing upon him. Little did she know she was opening him up to the miracle of creation that was happening inside her body, one she wasn’t yet aware of herself.
The tears might never end but for now they subsided. Scott had never wept during sex before, so this was unknown territory for him. Rather than guilty, he felt cleansed, like a new man baptized by fire. Or love, in this case. He couldn't deny it. Not when he had experienced Aurora's mind as his own. She cared for him in a way he couldn't understand but was grateful for nonetheless.
"That was... different," he said at last. "Good. I... I haven't..." Words were difficult both to formulate and to express.
Aurora moved to lay on the bed beside him, she was worn out herself now. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. I understand.” She smiled. “I loved seeing your eyes, I wish I could have held on longer but I haven’t mastered what I can do yet. I have no clue just how powerful I am. Maybe you can help me find out one day?”
"Thank you for that..." Scott laid on his side and ran his hand up and down her side. "It was so dangerous...but I could feel your confidence." He looked at her and realized he had never shared that with Jean. "I'm not even sure how you managed it."
“I just used my telekinesis to suppress your energy beams” Aurora smiled, “I’ve learned more control of my abilities since I’ve been here. I can’t hold it for long as it’s exhausting, but it gave you a chance to see me without your glasses.”
"You looked beautiful," Scott said breathlessly. "And I could see through your mind for a moment. That... was even more incredible." Especially knowing how she really saw him. He wondered if she had seen herself through his eyes.
Aurora couldn’t help but blush at being called beautiful. “I don’t see myself as beautiful, I never have. Spending years in the sewers hiding away from humanity you tend to avoid looking in a mirror. I’ll be honest Scott, I’ve never felt for anyone the way I do for you, I don’t want you to feel you have to love me. I know you need to hold out hope for Jean, and I’ll admit I’d be devastated to lose you, but we have here and now, and I don’t want this to be a one night only occasion.”
The mention of sewers reminded Scott of when they were kidnapped by the Morlocks beneath the streets of New York City. For Aurora to have lived like one of them made Scott's heart hurt for her.
"Aurora..." How could he say that he does not do hit-it-and-quit-it? That, as incredible as she was, she shouldn't sell herself short? That he couldn't form a relationship with her as a member of faculty after she had given him the most intimate sex of his life? Would any of that matter to her? "Thank you..." He cuddled with her and let himself melt into the creature comfort of laying against her warm flesh. Maybe things would seem more clear in the morning.
Aurora smiled as she let herself melt into the cuddle, happy to fall asleep in Scott’s arms and let the world go by without her.
