Wandering in Wondering

Posted on Thu Feb 29th, 2024 @ 11:52am by Ethan Hale & Bobby Drake

1,147 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Episode 4: The Savage ConneXion
Location: X-Mansion
Timeline: August 25th, 1990

It was the day after the battle at Niagara Falls and Bobby had never slept so hard. Somehow his injuries were mostly healed. There was that. But he barely remembered the aftermath. Somehow he'd gotten home. The last clear thing he remembered was Aurora and Ethan. They'd said something but he couldn't remember what.

What he knew for certain was that he had survived being set on fire by napalm without so much as a sunburn. So far, Ethan had been a straight shooter. He trusted Ethan to reveal what had happened without sugarcoating or treating him with kid gloves.

Just where the hell was he?

Unlike Bobby, who had slept soundly if not well. Just the opposite was true with Ethan. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Ryan's face, his cold lifeless body, and the faces and bodies of his other former teammates. He'd had to get as far away from the mansion as possible, without putting himself in danger, or at least too much danger. So, he had flown to Bangor Maine It had taken him a little just around four hours. He'd forced himself to eat some crabcakes and some garlic bread then flown back to New York.

There were no incidents, however, by the time he got back, he was exhausted.

He was hoovering at his window when he saw Bobby pacing back and forth. He knocked on the window.

Bobby looked up and grinned. Finally! Bobby ran to the sill and threw open the window. "Hey! Where ya been!"

"Maine," came the quick reply. "And boy are my arms tired." It was a poor attempt at a joke and he didn't even crack a smile.

"What were you doing in Maine?" Bobby didn't get the joke. His brow furrowed in confusion.

Ethan didn't try to explain the joke, he didn't have the energy. "I just had to get away from this place, try to wrap my mind around everything that just happened. Stuff I wanted to talk to you about. But you're in my room, so you go first."

"Oh, uh..." Bobby felt caught off guard now. "Well... I was just a little bothered about yesterday," he said. "There was a pretty high body count. Some of them you knew, right? And... then... I got set on fire?" The grimace Bobby made twisted his face. "I can't remember much now. And... I don't know... I guess I want to know what happened?"

"A lot of bad shit went down. I mean that's one of the reasons I went to Maine to try to forget what happened, not to remember it. But, maybe I can help you out. What all do you remember?"

Bobby flinched. "Shit... that bad, huh? Maybe it's better I don't remember..." He rubbed his head. "All I know is what I said. We fought your old gang, then we went after Stryker... it gets blurry from there."

"I thought I could get through to them Reason with them, make them see they were on the wrong side. But I couldn't. None of them! Not even Ryan, uh, Catamount."

"People are bastards sometimes," Bobby said. "You did what you could but they made their choice."

"The first guy, the only one I ever loved. He beat me, then he tried to kill me. There was an emptiness in his eyes. All the spark, everything that made Ryan, Ruah, was gone. It was, I don't know emptiness. I thought I was dead and that would have been a relief."

Bobby grimaced but didn't say anything.

"Then Quicksilver killed him."

"Yeah..." Bobby wasn't sure what to say. "... yeah, I remember that."

"GODDAMNIT," Ethan shouted as the claws on his left hand descended and he put his hand through the wall. "He's dead, he's fucking dead. They all are. Everyone but Apex."

Ethan just stood there after that an empty expression on his face.

"Apex? The guy who lost his hand and went over the falls in a brick of ice?" Bobby shook his head. "I'd love for my kill count to go down one but I don't know if he survived that." What was he saying? Ethan was beside himself, having just put a hole in the wall. "But... think of the people you saved, Ethan. Those guys were helping Stryker. That doomsday device he had? It could've killed us all. Maybe not you, but thousands, maybe millions of mutants. Innocent people. You gotta focus on the good."

"It's kind of hard to focus on the good when you've lost someone you've loved, and others you were friends with. But, yeah I get it. Stopping Stryker had to be done."

Bobby fixed Ethan with a hard look. Everybody's lost someone. While Bobby wanted to empathize, he also didn't want to feel his own pain either. In the end, he said nothing.

"Do you remember that thing you did, putting out that fire that Pyro set around you?"

"Maybe," Bobby said. "I remember being hit on the head... then... burning."

Ethan turned to fully face his friend. "You tapped into something, I don't know...primal? I've never seen you like that. You weren't yourself. Kind of like you'd gone berserk, but you pulled back from the edge. Do you remember me yelling at you?"

"Yeah..." Bobby nodded slowly, his eyes glazing over a little as he tried to recall that moment. "That's kinda why I'm here."

"Really? I did that? I mean I don't think I was the only one. How did I do it what made it work?"

Bobby shrugged. "I don't even know how I got back here."

Ethan reached for Bobby's hand, then thought better of it and took hold of his wrist instead. "I can relate to that, but what is important is that you made it back."

At first it was numbness. Then it was confusion. Then it was grief and sorrow and a deep longing. They all came together in sympathy. He took Ethan into a deep hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered with a creak to his voice. "For Ryan. For everything."

Ethan held onto him gripping him tightly and pulling him deeper into the embrace. "It just hurts so much. And I don't know which is worse, seeing him killed or knowing that if Quicksilver had not stepped in I'd be the one dead."

Nodding his head against Ethan's shoulder, Bobby just squeaked an affirmative.

"Can I ask a favor of you?"

"Sure..." Bobby's reply was breathless.

"Will you sleep with me?" Ethan asked before quickly adding. "That's not code for anything else. I just don't want to be alone. tonight."

Bobby wanted to run, wanted to hide, wanted to act grossed out and offended. Instead he just nodded solemnly. He didn't know what Ethan's intentions were. Nor did he much care. All Bobby knew was he didn't want to be alone tonight either.

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