Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune
Posted on Thu Mar 28th, 2024 @ 3:37pm by Erik Magnus Lehnsherr & Connor Bruin & Bobby Drake & Iris Walker & Jade Farwynd & Bliss Hawkins & Levi Rousseau & Shinobi Shaw & Ethan Hale & Aurora Summers & Kennedy Kelly
Edited on on Sun Jun 30th, 2024 @ 5:34pm
5,185 words; about a 26 minute read
Mission:
Episode 4: The Savage ConneXion
Location: Savage Land
Timeline: August 31st, 1990
When the X-Men returned to the Asteroid M transport, their intentions to grill Magneto did not go as planned. It has started out well. Demands were made for him to explain what Zaladane had meant about his fall and why she seemed far more powerful than before.
Magneto was silent for a moment until he directed the lumbering transport vessel toward their destination at full speed. Only when the course was laid in did he deign to respond.
"Zaladane claims relation to my house," Magneto said, "and so wishes to eradicate every trace of what I left in the Savage Land. If she has indeed harnessed the power of my Citadel, it can only mean she has first somehow harnessed the power of magnetism. That would complicate matters indeed."
But then the very floor plating revolted against them, driving them out and securing Magneto his solitude on the bridge. The doors had closed before them.
While the next leg of their journey was significantly shorter, the magnetic storm from the upper atmosphere wreaked havoc clear down to the ground. Rocky turbulence shook and rattled the transport as Magneto put all of his effort into guiding them through the hole punched by the McMurdo antenna fields. Between his diminished powers and the raging storm, the transport would have been surely ripped apart in moments.
Eventually, however, the storm passed and they were through the worst of it. For those who looked out the view ports, the expanse of jungle punctuated by the occasional river, lake, or distant mountain peak laid out before them. A few winged creatures dotted the distant sky. A few of them were close enough to be identifiable as much larger than birds.
“What is that?” said Iris to nobody in particular as she gazed out the window at the flying… whatever they were. “They’re huge! I’ll bet that wingspan is like 20 feet at least!”
Aurora gazed outside in awe and wonder. “Whatever they are, they’re incredible!”
"Yeah, and we probably look like food," said Jace. He wasn't near a viewport, but based on what had already been said...food. "I've never caused indigestion before and I really don't want this to be the first time."
"THEY ARE PROBABLY SCAVENGERS," Connor suggested.
"I'd love to find out more about them," Ethan said. "They're bigger than me." Then with an impish, overconfident smile, he added, "But I'm more dangerous."
"Almost looks like dinosaurs. But...that would be impossible..." Jade murmured, watching the giant bird-like creatures. "Then again...we're impossible...so..."
Levi leaned over Ethan to get a view out of one of the windows. "That's incredible. It's not all frozen over."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," the blond teen replied. "But, yeah you're right. I'm thinking we might have jumped location as well as time."
After a time, the bumpy rhythm of the transport suddenly stopped. In its place came a smooth but alarming acceleration that made everyone's stomachs rise into their throats.
"Attention, X-Men," Magneto's voice said through the loudspeakers. "I've lost all engine control. Assume crash positions!"
“Oh you have got to be kidding me!” groused Iris. “There aren’t any seatbelts!”
Kennedy lowered her head to her knees and braced herself for the forward momentum that would accompany their impact with the ground. “Can’t one of you stop this? Or at least slow us down?” She asked to the shuttle full of mutants.
Aurora was bracing for the crash along with everyone else. “I wish I could, but I can’t...not a ship this size! I’m not strong enough!”
"Nothing I can do," said Jace. "Well, not to slow it down anyway." He increased his density so that he was heavier and, hopefully, wouldn't be bounced around a lot. He did get a solid grip on the rails behind his seat and held on tight.
Having noted the emergency ripcords underneath their seating, Connor began pulling as many as possible. Nylon webbing began shooting out and restraining people in their seats with makeshift harnesses. "IT WOULD HAVE HELPED IF MAGNETO HAD INFORMED US OF THESE FROM THE START."
Ethan, like Jace, grabbed hold of the rail in front of him, then covered himself with his wings.
Jade grabbed the rails behind her seat and took a deep breath. This was going to be painful.
Levi felt incredibly uncomfortable as he stood up from his seat, stretched out his arms, and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure it would help or hurt, but he tried to block out the chaos of the surroundings and summoned the power of the wind around the transport, willing it to give upward resistance to slow the craft's descent. As he focused on a lift that well outside of anything he'd tried before, his shoulders strained under the effort.
Bliss had been struggling to use her power to control the path of the Free falling shuttle. But it was too big and heavy for her to manage any semblance of lifting. The best she could do was to lighten the load on the master of magnetism to give him the best chance of saving the shuttle and its contents.
She looked to Connor with a strained expression.
"I'm sorry... I'm trying but..."
Like a meteor falling from the sky, the brassy transport vessel hit the ground with Magneto doing his best to avoid a nose dive. The transport skipped off a rocky hilltop and turned sideways, knocking a wide swath of treetops clean off their trunks before hitting the ground. Tons of wood, leaves, and vines did nothing to slow the path of the crash. By the time the transport finally came to rest, about a quarter mile of jungle had been cleared into a new football field.
Twisted, muddy metal came flying off the starboard side of the bridge as Magneto climbed out. Normally he would hover, but after hours of navigation, he was feeling weak. The sight that greeted him stole his breath away.
"X-Men!" he called out. "Present! You need to see this."
They had crashed between a village and an army of hundreds of warriors assembled against it.
Behind the transport was a village with warriors standing guard, holding spears and bows at the ready.
An imposing alliance of warriors advanced toward them, presenting a vivid tableau of the ancient and the cultivated, where the primal ferocity of the Savage Land was on full display. Their ranks were a study in contrasts: some clad in gleaming bronze armor that reflected the dying light, bearing polished shields and metal weapons, while others moved with a more feral grace, their bodies adorned with scales and smears of mud, wielding blowguns and jagged knives. This joint force, united in purpose but diverse in their origins, marches with a determined pace, making ready to unleash their combined might upon their foes.
Kennedy began to look for a hatch leading up to the roof of the now shabby shuttle rather than exiting onto ground level. The high ground was always her vantage point and based on the amount of feet on the ground, she didn’t want to be mixed in with any of them. With bow and quiver, she climbed to the roof and moved to the starboard side near Magneto.
“Who is who around this place?” Kennedy questioned based on the obvious differences in the army before them “Or does it matter?”
Iris had been slammed around today more than she ever wanted to be slammed around in her entire life and she wasn’t happy. Upon crashing, she had cracked her head against something- it may have been someone’s knee- and now her head was throbbing. It was annoying.
But, now, she was aware of a more immediate danger. Namely some particularly vicious looking people advancing on them. She glanced around at her teammates. They needed a distraction. Quickly, she made her choice. “Escapade!” she said. “Come with me. We’ll sneak around behind them and throw something at them. Then Iceman can throw up an ice shield to buy everyone some time. Once they’re all distracted, we run and find somewhere to hide to reactivate my powers.”
Bliss stepped up to the call for her.
"I'm ready, lil sis."
Jace picked himself up from where he'd slid off the seat. The rails he'd been holding on to were still in his hands. He reset his density, stood up, and went to see what Magneto was talking about. "That's a lot of viciousness to distract."
"Indeed," Magneto agreed. "Perhaps with Quicksilver's assistance you could pull that off, but by the time you advanced to the back of their line, they will already be upon us." The old man sighed. "How many of you have seen combat?"
Escapade dusted her hands and began to warm her muscles.
"Well we kicked Juggernauts butt, some fascists and their Hitler youth pastor leader, oh and I made madame masque explode."
She looked at Magneto with defiance.
"I lost my cherry a long time ago, gramppapa."
Iris disregarded his question. “That’s why I suggested the ice wall to stall them,” she pointed out. “As soon as Escapade and I are clear of the plane, give us a ten-second head start, and then bam!” She clapped her hands together for emphasis. “Ice wall!”
"I don't think I could pull that off," Bobby said sheepishly, having just gotten a view of the battlefield. "A wall tall and thick enough to slow down an entire army that size?" He grit his teeth and just shook his head. "Maybe if I had all day!"
"Part of battle is knowing your limitations," Magneto said with an approving nod. Even if the X-Mean leader wasn't present as he'd hoped, at least one of the originals was at hand. "Those who do not trip into their own grave."
It was also a tacit admission of weakness on Magneto's part. At full power, he could rip that broken transport apart and use it as a weapon of mass destruction. Instead, he stood there scowling at an army growing ever closer.
By then, Connor had made his way up top. He took in the multitude before them and did a quick count. "APPROXIMATELY 2000 WARRIORS ARE ADVANCING UPON US, GIVE OR TAKE A FEW HUNDRED DUE TO FORMATION DENSITY VARIANCES."
"No shit, Sherlock!" Bobby exclaimed. "Got any other bright ideas?!"
"YES." Connor was unfazed by Bobby's outburst. "MY SUGGESTION IS THUS: ENIGMA IGNITES BOTH SIDES OF THE REMAINING FOLIAGE AT THE EDGES OF THE BATTLEFIELD. ICEMAN CREATES AN ICE SHEET BEGINNING FROM OUR CLOSEST POSITION TO THE FAR EDGE OF THE FIELD IN ORDER TO BOTTLENECK THEM ON THE FAR SIDE AND GIVE US TIME TO FLEE TO THE VILLAGE AND SEEK SHELTER."
"I was with you until the end," Magneto said. "The Fall People will not give us sanctuary, not with the combined might of the Sun People and Swamp People on their doorstep." He lifted his voice for everyone to hear. "I suggest everyone follows the mute's plan, but split up and flee in every direction rather than the village."
"Fu-fu-fu-fu..." Connor said with his mouth before raising his middle finger at Magneto. "FUCK YOU," said his device in its monotone.
Bobby wasn't going to waste any more time. "I don't hear a better plan. Back in a flash!" He jumped off the wreckage into an ice slide. This wasn't the first time he'd had to wing it in the middle of a crisis. Hopefully, they would figure something else once he slowed down the advancing army with an ice skating rink.
"That was one..." Magneto intoned with curiosity, wondering what the others were going to do. He pointed to a nearby mountain peak that was still several miles away. "Over there is Skull Mountain. I have an old redoubt which may still be of use. That will be the fallback point for anyone who survives this skirmish. If you hope to bring down the barrier and escape the Savage Land, you will proceed there with all haste. Godspeed, X-Men."
With that, Magneto took to the air and flew away, though his flight was far less majestic and more wobbly than usual.
Iris shrugged. “All right then,” she said. And then she simply walked very calmly into the midst of the warriors, who did not see her, but parted before her as if repelled by her very presence.
Escapade followed Hoodwink out.
"Get me into the middle of the pack then I'll shake things up."
Part of Ethan wanted to stand his ground and fight. But even he was not that overconfident. So he did the next best thing. If a distraction, even a small one, was needed, he could provide it.
"YO!" he shouted as he took to the air and flew over the army with blowguns(hopefully out of their range) "None of you could hit the broad side of a barn. Shoot me if you think you can."
Jade let out a slew of expletives before stepping outside too, a long spear made of blood in one hand, a sword of the same liquid in another. Her eyes glowed red as did the power swirling around her wrists. She may not be able to get out of this herself, but she could give the others a chance at least. Her earbuds were buckling under the capacity of the bloodstream sound barrage in her ears, making her already agitated state worse.
"Come on you fuckers!"
“I suggest you all stay out of the way!” Aurora focussed her powers on Connor’s plan, igniting the foliage in an attempt to slow down, or at least funnel their opponents. She didn’t want to cause mass damage to the eco system so she needed to control just how far the fire went, something that would take a lot of concentration.
Jace looked around what was left of the craft. Bobby was gone. Magneto was gone. Iris, Ethan, Jade, and Aurora were all out doing their thing. Some creating distractions or protections so they could all run. So he waited. He waited for them to finish their jobs before he phased and began walking into the jungle towards the mountain.
Focused as they were by the oncoming army, the pattering of an 800 pound beast at their rear didn't sound in the X-Men's ears until he was leaping and bounding up the side of the wreckage. Once he'd reached the pinnacle, a narrow angle that no human could balance upon, the Smilodon raise his orange head and let out a roar that pierced the frustrated battle chants of the army Magneto had identified as the Sun People and Swamp People.
The golden saber-toothed tiger raised his head and roared again, this time his bellowing forced his head to twist in the fury projected by his quakingly majestic call. In response, the war cry of hundreds of warriors rallied from behind the fortified village. Spearmen, bowmen, even a few mounted on incredible creatures, including a few winged ones, took to the battlefield.
Leading the charge, far and away from even the most fleet of foot among the Fall People, was a tall and chiseled man with a thick mane of golden hair that was tossed to the wind. He wore hide boots and a loincloth. His hands were empty yet the sureness of his swift stride conveyed an incredible danger nonetheless. It was only a moment before he began to climb the wreckage as a monkey in a tree.
"Hail, X-Men!" the man called out, barely winded from his dead sprint and climb. "I am Ka-Zar, Lord of the Savage Land, and I welcome you with open arms. Let us join together and rout the enemy!"
Though he recognized Bobby laying down ice sheets to harry the advancing army's progress, it did not take long for Ka-Zar to realize he did not recognize any of the others. "You are X-Men, yes?"
Iris froze at the roar and turned slowly to see a giant tiger on top of the wreckage, along with a tall man who had called out to them. All plans to attempt to get help for her friends completely vanished from her mind. The warriors continued to part around her, but this time, she was stationary instead of moving against them. Should she make her way to this guy? Probably. But she didn’t want to say anything just yet- not with all these warriors around her. First to safety. She began heading back the way she had come, the armies parting before her again.
The thunderous roar of the Smilodon caused Kennedy to lower her bow and arrow, a deep and ferocious sound that resonated in her bones, it made it impossible to ignore its presence. Big cats were kings wherever they resided and watching this primal beast made her understand why.
When the riders on other prehistoric beasts advanced onto the battlefield, Kennedy’s jaw dropped. Only bones and footprints had remained of these long dead creatures, left to be interpreted with educated guesses that filled the halls of museums. But these animals were alive and moving, thundering across a field with such magnificent presence, it left her dumbstruck for a moment.
As if the existence of extinct animals wasn’t enough, a man taken directly from the pages of Edgar Rice Burroughs was almost too much for Kennedy to comprehend. Fiction made flesh, he effortlessly climbed the wreckage and her awe remained.
“Yes, we are X-Men,” Kennedy confirmed Ka-Zar’s question as he neared her position on top of the shuttle. While many of the mutants needed no tools outside of themselves to perform amazing feats, she held a simple bow and arrow in her hands. “We’ve come to investigate the magnetic disruptions.”
Jace, startled at the roar and the sounds made by someone climbing the wreck, jumped and looked toward the ceiling. The loud cry to join the battle echoed in his head. "Well, I guess Magneto's Mountain will have to wait. It looks like we're fighting back after all." He shrugged. "Back up, I suppose." He slowly climbed down from the wreckage and decreased his density. The spears and arrows should just glance off of him. Then break some bones, crush some heads. The dinos on the other hand...he would try to stay away from them.
No one had shot at Ethan, or if they had, they hadn't come close to hitting him. He wheeled around and saw what was going on. So he flew back to his companions landing between that tiger and its master.
Aurora was still keeping her concentration on trying not to burn down the entirety of the nearby jungle. She wanted to keep the hoards at bay, without causing mass fire damage. “Whatever we’re doing...make it quick! I can’t keep this up forever!”
Meanwhile, Iris had found a long strip of leather and some stones, which she had loaded onto her pockets. Once she reached the wreckages, she positioned herself near a large piece of shrapnel and loaded up her makeshift sling with five stones. Her father had taught her how to use one when she was little and while she’d had a great time slinging stones at tree stumps that summer, she had never been good at aiming. Given how many warriors there were, however, accuracy was not important. Swinging it round and round over her head, she got the speed up as fast as she could and then let go of one end of the sling, flinging the stones into the mass of warriors. Then, before waiting to see if she had hit anything, she ducked behind the shrapnel to ensure she remained hidden while she loaded up her sling again.
Ka-Zar noted the dropping enemies among the army's first rank, though he didn't see where their attacks came from.
"Fill the space created by the mounted warriors and take down stragglers," shouted the Lord of the Savage Land, "then rally together until their next pass!"
The golden man took a twisted plate of steel and heaved it like a gigantic discus into the approaching army, not waiting for a dinosaur to clear a path for him. "Charge, Zabu!" Ka-Zar disappeared into the fray with his arms swinging.
Connor took note of Ka-Zar's tactics and found them satisfactory. "CHARGE!" he repeated with a more acrobatic but somehow less majestic leap of his own.
With the X-Men joining with the Fall People's counterattack, the saber-toothed tiger Zabu changed his roar to a snarl before pouncing from atop his perch onto a helpless warrior of the swamps.
Fighting was much more a part of Ethan's personality than fleeing was, so he leaped into the air again. Instead of flying away from the fight as he'd done before he flew to it shouting a war cry and displaying his claws.
Kennedy nodded her head in agreement, happy for directions on what to do before she began to pick off stragglers that had the potential to slip through the ranks and cause minor but disruptive damage. When there was a pause in frontline stragglers, she charged an arrow or two and let them fly deep into enemy lines. The resulting explosions created casualties and chaos that helped push them forward and into the fray.
Iris stepped out from her hiding spot and swung her makeshift sling once more, letting five more stones fly and then ducking into her hiding space again. The armies were being pushed back and she would soon have to find a new hiding spot or let her friends and the newcomers fight and fall back to help tend to the injured. But for now, she simply waited.
Jade was in all honesty relieved that someone else took the reins and she joined the others in holding back the assault, using the spilled blood to create weapons; spikes and knives and the like. To an onlooker, it appeared like a macabre ritual of blood punctuated by light and explosions from Kennedy's arrows and the yin and yang dance of fire and ice.
Escapade stepped out of Hoodwink s disguising field and began to ravage the dozens of soldiers around her. She spun like a whirling dervish, tossing and punching the opposition with all due speed. She let out a battle cry as she ravaged the battle lines from the rear. She was impossible to miss given the tornado of flying warriors surrounding her.
"Oh, you want some? Come get some!"
Ethan landed on the ground beside her claws extended. "Yeah, come and get some," he repeated.
Once Jace was on the ground, he adjusted his density and walked slowly into the battle. He was looking for the stragglers as he'd heard He-Man yell. A few spears and several arrows glanced off his body as he'd expected with the lower density. Some of the stragglers had a look of fear while others appeared to get angrier. He knew he'd have nothing to worry about from the fearful, but the angry charged him with knives.
Now time for a different tactic, Jace went to the opposite end of the spectrum and phased. The rushing warriors ran right through him and stumbled, falling to the ground. Jace reached into the chest of the nearest fallen warrior and promptly removed his heart. He held it high as if it were a trophy and did his best imitation of an evil laugh.
The tables soon turned thanks to the efforts of the Alternate Class, the elemental bottleneck combined with the tactical onslaught caused the warriors to fall back and eventually retreat. Shrinking back into the mist, jungles, and swamps they had come from the united front that had attacked them was now damaged and displaced.
Only when that last man was gone did the fierce jungle cat bellowed and the men on the field ceased their attack. It may not have won the war but today was definitely a victory for the Lord of the Savage Land and his people.
“Come X-Men, you will celebrate with us tonight. Today we are victorious!” Ka-Zar’s brilliant and booming voice traveled across the battlefield and the warriors that had arrived with him rattled their weapons and whooped in achievement.
Ka-Zar and his armies brought the Alternate Class to a large village south of the battlefield, the obvious destination of the warriors they had encountered upon landing here. The village was a mixture of different peoples, a buzzing epicenter of trade and vibrant cultures; it was a place filled with diversity and abundance. The inviting village was only accentuated by the return of its warriors and the air of celebration. Music and merriment began to fill the streets.
“Welcome to the Village of the United Tribes.” Ka-Zar extended his hand in invitation, the smile on his face told them he was proud of these people and the peace they had created. “We will review and investigate the magnetic disruptions tomorrow. I feel as if the current turmoil of the Savage Land is related to your own concerns. I think we have much to learn from one another. But tonight, please partake in the beauty that is the village, tonight we rejoice.”
A small sound of delight came from the Smilodon standing next to Ka-Zar and the large cat padded off towards a woman who had rounded the corner. A statuesque redhead appeared, dressed in tanned leather and leopard fur. The big cat chuffed in greeting before butting his massive head into her thigh.
“Allinllachu Zabu, millay kallpasapa maqanakuq.” The redhead cooed the words to the cat with a smile on her face as she ran her fingers through his golden fur. “Kusikuni kutimusqaykita rikuspay.”
Ka-Zar watched her and his smile turned into a more endearing one. Leaving the cat, the woman returned his smile and approached him.
They took each other by the forearms before resting their foreheads against one another’s. Closing their eyes and sharing the same breath, they murmured a few words to one another in that ancient foreign tongue. It was a traditional greeting but one that showed the intimacy between them.
Letting go of her arms and returning his attention to the Alternate Class, Ka-Zar introduced the women. “X-Men, may I have the pleasure of introducing you to Shanna, my wife and Lady of the Savage Land.”
“Hello, X-Men!” Shanna waved to the group. “Thank you for coming to our aid today. I trust all of you are well?”
That’s when the Alternate Class finally had a moment to reflect and convene. That’s when they noticed that Bliss was missing from their ranks.
Iris did a head count for the third time since arriving at the village, but she still came up one short. “Someone’s missing,” she said, trying to figure out who it was. “We need a roll call.”
Jace wasn't sure about rejoicing, but he sure was hungry. Up before the crack of dawn, flying and crashing with Mags, and then a battle. He was looking around for something to eat when he heard Iris speak out. "Not me, I'm not missing," said Jace. "But I could go for a plate full of breakfast right now. Or lunch. What time is it down here anyway?" His focus was on satisfying his own stomach before engaging in an X-Man search and rescue. Who knew how long that would take.
"BLISS!" The look on Connor's face was sheer panic. Why had he thought she was with them? Taken in as he was by the sights and sounds of this primitive village, Connor had just assumed... His fingers closed together into fists. "WE HAVE TO FIND HER!"
"Peace," said Ka-Zar, holding up his palm. "Tonight we celebrate our narrow victory, the first in many moons. Our scouts will report back in the morning. If the enemy has taken your friend, they will know where."
"What about Magneto?" Bobby asked. "He's expecting somebody to show up at Skull Mountain. If we don't, he might assume we're all dead."
Ka-Zar frowned at that. "The one called Magneto is not welcome here. But his timely intervention will not go unappreciated. If you require escort to Skull Mountain, then Shanna and Zabu can guide you there along the swiftest path."
"Can't we just take to the skies like he did?" Bobby asked.
"I wouldn't suggest it," Ka-Zar said. "Our fliers are grounded by Sauron and the Mutates who follow him. They attack anything that goes skyward. I am amazed that Magneto got by them. Could be they were distracted but I wouldn't press your luck."
Connor looked confused. "SAURON, LORD OF BARAD-DUR AND MORDOR?"
"Sauron is a bad dude," Bobby said, not catching Connor's literary reference. "One look in his eyes and you're enslaved! Better off avoiding him."
"O-K. SO WE WAIT AND MOVE OUT WHEN THE SCOUTS REPORT BACK." Connor folded his arms and sat on the ground right where he was standing.
“Connor...” Aurora moved across to her friend to offer support. Connor had promised Scott he’d look after her, she was wanted to return the favour. “Bliss must be okay, I haven’t sensed anything bad related to her. I might be able to pick up on her when we get closer to where she is, without Cerebro I can’t be more focussed than that with so many minds surrounding me, besides I’m exhausted. I’m looking forward to getting some sleep.”
It was only when Bliss was mentioned that Kennedy realized she was missing. A wave of guilt washed over her, she should have been doing a better job of watching out for her roommate, she knew Bliss would have done that. Bliss was always so confident and capable during missions she didn’t seem like someone who needed to be watched, until she did.
The fact that Connor hadn’t noticed made her feel a little better. If he too hadn’t felt the need to watch Bliss, it wasn’t just Kennedy who had felt it wasn’t necessary.
“We’ll find her tomorrow.” Kennedy chimed in. “I’m sure the jungle is a terrible place at night, we have to be prepared for that too.”
“That’s true,” agreed Iris’s worriedly. “I hate the idea of leaving her out there somewhere, but we’ll be no good to her if we get lost, too.” She placed a tiny hand on Connor’s shoulder. “We’ll find her,” she promised him.
Ethan folded his wings against his back, looking down to where a spear had entered his side. It still stung like hell, but was already in the process of healing. He was more concerned that he'd been warned not to fly than he was about his injury.
After finishing his final circuits around the battlefield to put out Aurora's fires, Bobby finally joined the group in the village square. "Hey! What'd I miss?"
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