Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

Posted on Mon Apr 22nd, 2024 @ 2:47pm by Erik Magnus Lehnsherr & Bliss Hawkins

2,048 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 4: The Savage ConneXion
Location: Savage Land
Timeline: September 1, 1990

After being carried on a wooden rail all night with vines lashed about her limbs, Bliss was unceremoniously dropped to the ground. Her body splashed in the muck which threatened to immerse her until jagged knives cut her bonds loose. Free of restraint, she could move physically.

Bliss turned her face out of the muck, spitting the swamp goo from her mouth. She was covered in mud, or what she hoped was mud. She rubbed her wrists where the vines had restrained her. She looked around warily, waiting for whatever fresh hell was next.

But a familiar tingle from McMurdo Station lit up the hairs on the back of her neck. An invisible hand lifted Bliss out of the mire and levitated her in mid air, her arms and legs spread eagle. Before her was the peacock priestess from before.

"Oh, heavens, you have not been treated well, have you?" Despite the warmth of her words, Zaladane's tone was ice cold. "The Swamp People can be so... inhospitable. But they have their uses." She walked a circle around Bliss as she spoke, appraising her. "You are quite the specimen, young one. Tell me of your home. Is it marvelous? Do you live among technological wonders and conveniences that make you look down upon the Savage Land? Is there a lover to warm your soft bed?"

Bliss looked at Zaladane with a grin of quiet contempt.
"It's ok. It keeps the rain off my head. I'm fond of my pillow, it's pretty nice."
The woman was starting to remind her of one of the foster moms she had had in the system. She had been a nasty piece of work, and Bliss had always enjoyed getting under her skin. At least until the bitch started hitting her. Bliss considered the victory hers because she had goaded the woman, even if the bruises took days to fade.

"Savage land? I kind of like it here. I mean look at the mud bath you just treated me to. Back home I couldn't afford a spa visit like this. I'm thinking I'm going to build a place to live down here. Put up a condo overlooking for all the dinosaurs come to get a drink. Works for me. "

"I have no lover," she lied. She didn't want to share anything important about the team, especially Connor. "Why do you ask? Looking for someone for your own bed, perhaps?"

"Oh, please," Zaladane said, her lips pursed with amused contempt. "Spare me the pitiful seduction. I could kill you with a word, so choose your next ones wisely." Looking Bliss right in the eye, the Empress cocked her head. "Yet you have a power to you, a hidden strength that goes beyond your abilities. You would be a fine leader in my new empire." Zaladane stuck her chin up in an imperious gesture. "Join me," she said without a hint of possibility that Bliss would do anything else. "Join my army and I will let you live."

Bliss gave the woman a cocky grin even as she began to flex within the grip of the power experimentally.
"Ya know, it's tempting. I would be a fantastic leader in your little band of freaks and misfits. Just surrender to you and be just another mook in your little band of bullies. Easy peasy. But there's nothing I hate more than a goddammed bully. So you can take your offer, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and shove it up your jabroni ass."

"Your outlander curses are colorful but they have no power here." Zaladane leaned into Bliss's face. "The coming days will surely remind you of that."

Stepping back, Zaladane made a wave of her hand. Sparks began to fly in the air until a vortex swirled into being. In the center was an expanding aperture that revealed a scene from beyond that dank space.

It was Magneto. He was seated in a highbacked chair without his helmet. Without a word, he replaced it and took to a defensive position, ready for a fight.

"Peace, Magnus," said Zaladane. "I have not come to destroy you. Yet. Not before I destroy all that you are and all that you were." She let out a cruel chuckle before stepping to the side with her hand outstretched. "Behold! I have one of your champions. She was the first to fall in battle. The others will follow, as will you in the end."

Magneto's face was hard to read behind the T-Framed slit in his helmet, but his piercing eyes flashed with indignation. Whether it was for himself or Bliss or anything else was hard to tell.

"Escapade... resist until the end." What more could he say?

Escapade gave the master of magnetism a thumbs up, the only thing she could do from her position in crucifixion.

"Hardly!" Zaladane bit back a sneer. "Your little swamp rat offered to bed me not a moment ago!"

True or false, it was so ridiculous that Magneto could only lower his head and give it an incredulous shake. "Told you not to hug the megafauna, you impertinent fool." When he raised his head, though, there was a mischievous glint in his eye.

Escapade did her best to offer a helpless shrug.
"I had to take my shot. It wouldn't have been my worst Tuesday."

Zaladane took it as an insult. "I am talking here! Not her. You talk to me, Magnus! I am Empress of this place! My majesty will not be denied!" Her imperial poise had become anything but dignified.

"You are a pretender," Magneto said with practiced indifference. "An imposter. A recalcitrant thief who steals honor and prestige because she cannot garner it any other way. Circumstances favor you now, but with God as my witness, I will bury you in a cold iron hell."

"There is one god in the Savage Land, Magnus, and his light shines upon me alone." Though her eyes were bulging with rage, she raised her hand and waggled her fingers in a wave. "See you soon."

The portal dropped. Zaladane turned around. "See how your leader cowers before me. He attacks with words because he lacks the might to do aught else!"

Bliss offered the raving lunatic a smile.
"You know, you're not going to win, don't you? You're crazier than an outhouse rat. In words that you will understand, that means you're going to burn out and fade away. And if you don't play your cards right, I'm going to be there to help you do just that. And sweetheart? That's not a prediction, that's a spoiler."

"It appears you require a lesson in true power." Zaladane glowered at her at first, but her lips spread into a grin. Eyes closed, her hands came up and over Bliss's temples. Hushed whispers from a forgotten tongue fell out of her mouth like a swarm of bats. Heat radiated from her palms into Bliss's head.

"Gongai... qunqay..." Zaladane said, her whispers growing louder before rising to a shouting crescendo. "Qonqoyman churay!"

Visibly spent by no small measure, Zaladane stepped back several feet and looked pleased with herself. "Let us see now how haughty your pretty little tongue is." She clapped her hands. "Vertigo! Come collect this pest. I remand her to the priests of the Swamp People."

A visibly confused and dizzy tried to shake off whatever Zaladane had done to her. But nothing had stilled her tongue.
"Well, I'm still waiting. But look if you can do the hot hands Miyagi move to my ass, I would really appreciate it. I think a dinosaur stepped on me on the way through the jungle and I sure could use some therapeutic heat. And while you're down there you can kiss my mutant ass."

Zaladane just chuckled and left Bliss to the mercy of her new keeper. The midair hold released Bliss, letting her fall into the mud of the makeshift tent.

A muddy woman with tangled hair riddled with green algae and form-fitting animal skins dyed a murky pallid color by years spent living in bogs strutted forward with all the sultry confidence of a swamp witch. "The Empress has ordered your death. If you obey, I will make it swift at the end of our journey. Resist and you will suffer until the end."

Bliss lifted her face from the muck, blowing a mouthful of the gross slime to the side. There were a number of people on her shit list, and Zaladane was number one on the list with a bullet. She pressed herself up wearily to her feet in front of the equally muddy woman standing before her. Bliss slumped her shoulders and let her head loll downward.
"Just don't hurt me anymore, please..."

Bliss felt a bit of sharp metal at her wrist, a final gift from Magneto before he disappeared. Under the mud caking her face, Bliss grinned with no humor. She knew the game. Act weak in the face of overwhelming force and cruelty, and await your opportunity. I might not have my powers, but that doesn't make me weak, she thought to herself. In fact, she loved to be overestimated. That made her truly dangerous.

"Good pet," said the swamp witch called Vertigo. "Now walk while you still can. I will have you dragged otherwise."

They left the tent none too soon, as the straps were already being pulled out and the fabric rolled up. The camp was breaking up and they were making ready to move. Warriors were stowing their gear and retrieving their weapons for easy access. From the sight of it, they weren't marching for war. Another purpose moved their numbers.

Vertigo led Bliss toward the beast mounts. "I am to question you on our journey," she said. "Comply and I will allow you to sit on a beast. Refuse and you will be bound at the wrist and made to follow, on foot or on your belly." With those terms stated, she said, "My first question will allow you to ride until our next stop. What is the Creator's plan?"

Feigning a defeated attitude, Bliss settled in with a sad pout.
"Since my supposed friends have abandoned me I have nothing to lose by protecting them. The Creator's plan revolves around a secret weakness of the fortress. The weakness can only be exploited from the air. He's assembled a flying force to attack the weakness to attain victory."

While Vertigo appeared naturally suspicious, what Bliss said made a certain level of sense. Magneto had even been seen fleeing the battlefield in the air. She gave a careful nod. "Good. Was that so hard? Keep it up and I won't have to hurt you."

With a snap of her fingers, warriors of the Mud People descended on them and took Bliss by hand and foot onto a scaly beast. Lashings were wrapped around the bindings at her wrists, slung around a pommel and then underneath the beast's belly. With her ankles tied together and strapped against the side of the dinosaur, Bliss wasn't going anywhere. If anything happened to her mount, that could be especially bad.

"You earned a ride, not comfort," Vertigo said. "If you don't like it, then stop cooperating and see if you like being dragged from behind."

Bliss frowned as she looked at her pretty predicament.
" Still not my worst Tuesday. At least now I got a dinosaur. What's this thing called anyway? If he doesn't have a name he does now. He's my friend, Reptilicus."

The look on Vertigo's face nearly wrapped her eyebrow around her forehead. "What?"

Bliss sighed and shook her head.
"You guys are going to kill me, right no matter what I do. So I guess I'm not going to tell you about the other secrets that I know. Like the secret sorcerer that the Creator found to counter Zaladane. She's nothing against Lord Vader."

Vertigo stopped cold at that. Blood drained from her already pale face and left her completely ashen. Her lips parted as if to speak, but wanton trembling made Vertigo close them again. "We will speak again later," she murmured before making herself scarce. Furtive glances darted from either shoulder as she put space between herself and Bliss.

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