Mixed Blessings

Posted on Sun Dec 29th, 2024 @ 11:43pm by Bobby Drake & Kennedy Kelly

4,808 words; about a 24 minute read

Mission: Episode 5: Days of Fortune Past
Location: X-Mansion
Timeline: November 21, 1990 - Evening

The sun hung low in the sky, casting long, golden rays through the glass-paneled walls of the Solarium. Bobby drummed his fingers along the railing as he ascended the attic stairs, feeling a flood of nostalgia and apprehension. It had been almost a year since he’d wandered into this tucked-away space, a refuge for his teenage rebellion and awkward escapades. Memories of calling it The Roost came flooding back, a relic of him and Warren’s adolescent banter. He and Warren had joked endlessly about it being the ultimate hideaway for sneaking someone in or out. A roost for the First Class’s burgeoning social lives. Back then, it was just a hideaway for boys to dream big about girls and adventures; now, it held echoes of something far more bittersweet.

Stepping into the Solarium, Bobby noticed how little had changed. The polished wooden floor still bore the faint scratches of furniture long moved, and the wide glass windows still overlooked the sprawling estate, now tinted with the warm, amber glow of the setting sun. He let out a low whistle, running his hand along the curved frame of the old reading chair.

“Not bad, Bobby-boy,” he muttered to himself, marveling at the memory of hauling himself up here through the external ledges before he had mastered his ice sled. It got a little easier with mastery of his powers but had still been risky, and not least of all because the Professor would not have hesitated to punish them for truancy.

Then he saw her and all memories evaporated, which plunged his focus into the present moment. Kennedy sat cross-legged under the warm halo of a standing lamp, a blanket wrapped loosely around her shoulders. Her blonde hair gleamed in the fading light, and her eyes flicked over the pages of a book resting on her lap. She seemed smaller somehow, her usually vibrant presence subdued by grief and exhaustion. For a moment, Bobby hesitated, feeling an unexpected pang in his chest. She didn’t look like the fiery, sharp-tongued Kennedy he’d sparred with before—it was like seeing her stripped bare, all the walls and guardedness gone. Like that evening at the lake where they had touched one another like neither had been touched before.

He took a step forward, and the sound of the old floor creaking beneath his foot pulled her gaze up from the book. Their eyes met, and an awkward silence hung in the air, heavy with unspoken words and unresolved tension.

“Hey, Ken,” Bobby said softly, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “Mind if I...?”

“Oh, ummm… Hi, Bobby.” Kennedy made no attempt to hide the surprise and discomfort his presence created as the lofty space of the Solarium suddenly filled with awkward tension. She paused for a moment before answering his question, the silence making the interaction even more uncomfortable. “Yeah, sure it’s okay. It’s not like this is my room or anything.”

Despite their clumsy greetings, Kennedy still slid her bookmark between the pages of her book and closed the leather bound copy of Anna Karenina she had been reading. The former socialite had manners in abundance when she wanted to, so she opted to engage in polite conversation rather than totally ignore Bobby. “How’s New York?”

“Big.” It was a stupid answer but Bobby didn't know what else to say. That his life had taken a turn for the better? That their fight had pushed him to become better? That he was sorry for how things had ended between her and Jace? That he regretted not being more brave and less mercurial himself? That he wondered what great things could have happened between them? All of those things sounded stupid and pathetic here and now. “Doing things. College. Work. I even have an office.”

Big flex. Kennedy’s dad probably had a dozen offices, Bobby figured. All staffed by actual secretaries instead of being the secretary like him. “Um. How's the mansion?”

“The same in that stuff is always changing. Bliss and Iris left, but I’m sure you heard about that already. There are some new girls for you to talk to.” It was a slight dig but Kennedy’s voice remained kind with her delivery, making Bobby unsure if she was trying to be mean or was just being honest with him. “I’m learning acrobatics and some aerial skills with Kurt. I think it’s going to help me on missions but it’s fun to learn too.”

“I knew about Bliss,” Bobby said. “She showed up in New York to apologize for…” Suddenly he found it hard to speak. It really wasn’t something he felt like sharing with Kennedy. Looking down and away, he said, “... for something she did. I thought she was joking when she talked about applying to join some nuns. Turns out… she wasn’t.”

“It surprised me too,” Kennedy admitted but she left it simply at that. She was so tired of crying over people.

Bobby shook his head. “Anyway, that’s not why I’m here. I’m sorry...” He slid his duffel bag from his shoulder and began searching for something. “... for Jace. And for me. I was a total asshole and I wanted…” Not finding what he wanted, he started pulling clothes and toiletries out of the bag. “Damn, I know it’s here somewhere. I put it right… oh, here we go!”

Dropping the duffel bag and its strewn contents at his feet, Bobby approached Kennedy with something held behind his back. “It’s not much and it’s super late, but…” His hand came around his back and presented a small object. Round glass contained a ballerina posed in a wintry scene. “Happy birthday.”

“Oh Bobby…I…” Kennedy stood up and took the snow globe from him and shook it. The delicate ballerina was covered in glittery winter for a brief moment. Her birthday had been a disaster and after she was rescued, Kennedy was too embarrassed to mention the event to anyone at the school, not that she had felt like celebrating. But it still felt nice to be considered, even if it was from someone who she spent a lot of time yelling at.

“Thank you, Bobby, I wasn’t expecting this but I really appreciate it.” She quickly wiped away a stray tear that had dared to fall. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too.”

“You are?” Bobby looked surprised. “I mean, thank you. And I’m glad you like it. Hopefully it makes your birthday a little better this year. I spent mine… shit, I don’t even know where I spent mine. Nowhere good.” He shuddered as he pushed away the broken memories from before Scott rescued him. “So, yeah. Happy birthday… again.”

“I wished I hadn’t been as mean to you as I had been, it wasn’t the right thing to do. You just made me so mad at times.” She shook the snow globe once more and it appeared to soften her mood. “But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore, does it? So thanks… again.”

Bobby laughed softly, the sound was awkward but earnest, as Kennedy shook the snow globe again. He scratched the back of his neck, stalling for time before his thoughts spilled out in a way he hoped didn’t make him sound like an idiot.

“Look, we both got mad,” he started, his voice uneven. “But... I wanted to say I’m sorry for more than just that. More than the things we said to each other.” He hesitated, kicking at a dust bunny on the floor, his eyes fixed on the scuff marks his shoe left behind. Finally, he sighed and forced himself to continue.

“I have a lot of problems,” he admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush. “And sometimes they make me act out in ways I don’t even get myself. I—” He stopped, the words catching in his throat before he pushed them out. “I’m sorry for what happened that night. When your dad... you know.”

He looked up at her then, his expression raw and open. “We had this moment—one I’ve never had with anyone before—and I guess I thought… I don’t know. I didn’t know what to do with it afterward, and I still don’t know. But that doesn’t justify being shitty to you. And I was. I’ve been shitty. To you, and... probably to a lot of people.”

Bobby’s hands fidgeted as he spoke, clenching and unclenching as he tried to get the words just right. “I’m just a dumb kid from upstate. I don’t know what’s wrong with me half the time. But I do know I’m done taking it out on people who don’t deserve it. It’s wrong. You didn’t deserve it, Kennedy. And I owe you the biggest apology of all.”

He paused for a moment, his gaze locked on hers, and then shrugged, a nervous, self-conscious grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “So… there it is.”

“That night on the lake, it was surreal.” Kennedy avoided his gaze as she spoke, her voice soft and sincere. “Then you were so sweet to me on the ride to Antarctica, but the moment we got to the Savage Land and you learned about Lorna, you completely ditched me.” She examined her shoes for a brief moment before she continued, Kennedy was also working up the courage to say what had been lingering inside of her. “Then I found out you were doing the same thing with three other people at the school. I told you how lost and alone I felt, how scared I was to never feel loved again. You treated me like some sort of cheap thrill, another body that might warm your bed rather than a person who wanted to open up to you and connect with you. That hurt me, Bobby.”

Kennedy sighed and he heard the tremble of emotions in her voice, it sounded like leaves shuttering in the wind. “Then Jace came along and he treated me like someone who was special and who mattered. I wanted to be loved and cherished and he gave that to me… only for it to be taken to the most shocking extreme.”

She shook the snow globe again as she regained some of her wavering composure. “I’m trying to learn to be okay with just myself, that I can be my own source of joy and happiness. It’s a degree of love and self-worth that I once had but seemed to have lost when I was dropped off at this school. I’ve been learning new skills and remembering the things that once made me happy. It's been hard but I already see the difference it’s making.”

As Kennedy spoke, Bobby's face slipped deeper and deeper into a frown. By the time she had finished, it was nearly a pout.

“Lorna… is a sore subject,” he finally said. “I'm sorry I hurt you. That's not what I wanted. She was more than just my first girlfriend.” He sighed, trying to find the words to explain the problem. “She always saw the best in me. I wasn't just a big clown to her. She saw me for me, what I meant to do instead of how I always screwed everything up…” He paused to give a wry half chuckle with a faraway look in his eyes. “...which was pretty much always. She only laughed at my jokes, never at me.” His frown contorted with a wince. “I couldn't save her. She got sucked into Hell or whatever that place is right in front of me.”

Blinking away the tearful shame of yesteryear and all that he'd lost, Bobby refocused on Kennedy. “For what it's worth… what happened on the lake? It's never happened to me before, not with anyone else…not even Lorna. But…” He didn't want to sound like he was making some last ditch attempt to salvage some kind of romance. That would only lose ground between them. And Bobby so desperately wanted to be taken seriously as an adult. “... I hear what you're saying about the self-worth thing. Jean's been helping me too. Even Pietro had some good advice. I need to learn to be comfortable with myself before I can offer anybody more than heartache.”

Bobby nodded affirmatively at his own words, confirming them as accurately reflecting his feelings. “Thank you for explaining things with Jace. He was a huge jerk and I'm sorry you had to find out in the worst way. I don't want to be that guy anymore either, so…” He laughed again, this time at himself. “I was going to say I'd like a do over but we didn't even really start out great, did we? I guess I'll just leave it at sorry.” He sniffed a little and forced his devil-may-care smile that wasn't very convincing. “I'm glad to hear you're doing so good…here at the school and all.”

“Thanks and I’d like a do over too.” Kennedy admitted as her gaze finally returned to meet Bobby’s. Her eyes were a lapis lazuli blue but despite their brilliant color there was this lingering dolefulness in them. “I think we met each other when we were both in our lowest places and it was really easy for us to knock the other down. I definitely feel better than I once did and it sounds like you are too. So let’s start over.”

She put down the snow globe and took a few steps forward until she was close to Bobby. “Hi, my name is Kennedy. It’s nice to meet you.” She offered him her hand to shake.

Bobby looked at Kennedy’s outstretched hand for a moment, then at her face. He saw the hint of a smile beneath the sadness, the courage it took her to extend this olive branch. Slowly, his trademark grin began to creep back, this time genuine. He took her hand, gave it a firm shake, and then held it dramatically as if he were greeting royalty.

“Well, it’s an honor, Kennedy. My name’s Bobby Drake,” he said, hamming up the moment. “You might know me as the Iceman—master of snowball warfare and pioneer of accidentally freezing his own socks.” He leaned in with a smirk. “Seriously, one time, I gave myself frostbite trying to chill a soda. Not my shining hour, lemme tell ya.”

Kennedy snorted a laugh through her nose, leave it to Bobby to use his humor as an ice breaker. He saw some of her defenses melt away as his goofy personality changed the mood in the solarium. “I thought you didn’t get cold.”

“Not anymore,” Bobby said with a shrug. “But that took awhile. When I first learned to freeze things, it froze me too. But it didn't actually hurt me the way it could others. That's when the Prof encouraged me to embrace the cold instead of fear it. Before you knew it, I took ice form and now I'm cooler than a Coca-Cola polar bear.” He flipped down invisible shades and smirked again.

“Yeah, I get that.” Kennedy bent down and collected her things, she draped the blanket over her arm and tucked the book under her arm so she could hold onto the snow globe with two hands. “If only we would just come to terms and accept who we are from the get go, all of this mutant stuff would be so much easier… I guess some people do. I’m envious of them.”

It was in that statement that Bobby remembered why they had connected so quickly and why their resentment had been so heated. Their mutant status was tied directly to father wounds and exile from their families. Dishonoring that solidarity felt like an even deeper level of betrayal.

“I don't know anybody who did that alone,” Bobby said quietly. “Even the Prof had friends that helped him out. I'm sorry I haven't been that kind of friend to you…when I know better than anyone what you're going through.” His jaw snapped shut as he was suddenly overwhelmed by emotion. Choking up wasn't an option. He wasn't going to do it. Not anymore than he could hold eye contact. “Yeah,” he managed to croak with a hoarse whisper. “I should go…”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, it’s okay. I know you’ve been missing your teammates. You were lost and upset too.” Kennedy didn’t like him leaving on the verge of tears and still kicking himself for everything that had happened. They were both in bad places and quick to anger. “I was going to get some dinner, maybe drive into town? Do you want to come with me?”

Bobby grinned at that. “Sure, I could eat. Gotta get warmed up for tomorrow. Prof always gets some fancy caterer to bring in turkeys and all that, so let's do something cheap and greasy.” In the back of his mind, he recognized the opportunity for a potential innuendo there, but for perhaps the first time in his life, he passed on it. “My treat. I'm a working man now.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks.” Kennedy wasn’t sure if she wanted to ask if this scenario was classified as a date or not, it seemed too forward and awkward to define things like that. “Let me get my things.”

They began to walk together out of the Solarium and towards the girl’s dormitory. Kennedy disappeared for a moment and returned with her purse and a large stack of envelopes that were rubber banded together.

“What are you going to school for?” Kennedy asked as they headed downstairs and towards the garage. “You mentioned college but not what you’re studying.”

Bobby straightened up, puffing his chest out ever so slightly as Kennedy's genuine interest gave his confidence a much-needed boost. “I’m majoring in business with a minor in accounting,” he said, the pride evident in his tone. “I know, I know, it doesn’t exactly scream ‘thrill seeker,’ but it’s what I’ve been working on. Right now, Scott and Jean have me handling some of X-Factor’s day-to-day business stuff, the parts that aren’t tangled up with lawyers and real CPAs. I mean, it’s a lot of spreadsheets, contracts, and budgeting… hard work, but honestly? I’m starting to like it. Which is wild, considering I was never the bookish type.”

“I never would have pegged you as a numbers sort of guy. But yeah, that’s cool.” Kennedy tucked her hair behind her ears as she spoke and Bobby could see the difference in the way she looked at him.

He gave her a crooked smile. As much bravado as he typically slung out, that was still the longest boast he had ever made of himself. What’s more was that it wasn’t at all embellished. Every word of it was the truth. “I’m not saying I’m the next Rockefeller or anything, but it’s pretty rad knowing I’m helping keep things running. Plus, it’s nice to feel like I’m actually good at something that isn’t freezing stuff solid, you know?”

“I understand to some extent.” Kennedy agreed with him as they entered the garage and she began to dig through her purse for the keys to her black Lexus. “Before I came here, there was a huge emphasis on me getting ready for college and going to law school. A lot of the stuff I liked to do was discouraged. Since I came to Xavier’s I’ve been doing more of the stuff that makes me happy and I’m not half bad at it either. It feels good to make myself happy while helping other people.”

She unlocked her car and got in, waiting for Bobby to get into the passenger’s seat before she turned the key for the engine.

“I think I’m going to stay here and just be an X-Man for a while.” Kennedy confessed to Bobby it was a decision she hadn’t shared with anyone else. “I’m done with school early, at the end of this semester, but moving on doesn’t feel right, at least not yet.”

“School will always be there,” Bobby said as he fastened his seatbelt. “I mean look at Hank. He had a bunch of masters degrees before he was our age and he still ain't done.” Bobby laughed at that. “I think it makes sense for you to figure out what you want to do before going off and doing it. Being a lawyer doesn't seem so great anyway.” Sticking out his tongue through his grinning teeth, he added, “I met some carnies once. Bet you'd make an awesome one.”

“Carnie?!” Kennedy appeared slightly offended by his comment. “Like some sort of freak show?” She kept her eyes on the road as she left the mansion grounds and headed towards Salem Center but he watched her bristle a little in response to his words. “I’m so glad we decided to make up, whatever would I do without your stellar opinion of me in my life?”

Bobby gasped at his sudden inference. “You've never been to a carnival! Jeez, you're missing out. Junk food, wild rides, games and crowds, we even had a demolition derby one time!” He nudged her with his elbow. “You like to hot rod. Bet you'd be a natural derby driver.”

“So a huckster or a drifter? None of your clarifications are helping.” Kennedy’s face soured and she looked like an angry barn cat. “Why would you think I like hot rods?”

Bobby began backpedaling when he saw Kennedy wasn't appreciating his humor. “Look at this sweet ride. You know how to roll in style. Might as well have some fun doing it.” Not able to help himself, Bobby let another joke slip. “Is having fun okay?” he asked wryly with a smirk. “Or would that ruffle your feathers too?”

“I think you and I have different ideas about what having fun means,” Kennedy replied with a touch of indignation. So far Bobby had insulted her and then mislabeled her all in an attempt to be funny, except she wasn’t laughing.

“You really have no idea who I am, do you?” Sure, Bobby had been one of the first people to meet Kennedy when she arrived but even then, he hadn’t bothered to ask her her name. It felt like more of the same now, it was all about him and his jokes.

Bobby chewed his lip and honestly considered her question. “No, I guess not,” he conceded. “I barely know who I am. When I've had a glimpse, I haven't liked who I see, so I make jokes and try to be tolerated that way.”

As Kennedy navigated the winding country road, they passed a familiar curve. Bobby couldn't help but cringe. It was what he always did when passing by the spot.

“I crashed the Prof’s car there one time.” Bobby craned his head over his shoulder while he gawked, his attention arrested by the memory. “Didn't have my driver's license yet but I didn't let that stop me from taking Lorna on a date. We didn't get far. She wound up hurting her neck in the crash. We got the car back to the gates where it completely died. Alex was there and took her down to the infirmary while I got my ass chewed in the Prof’s office…” Bobby trailed off for a second, not wanting to remember the next part. “Lorna dumped me not long after. She said I wasn't serious enough, that everything was a joke or a game, and she needed more in a boyfriend.”

Leaning back in his seat, Bobby kicked the dashboard. “Alex was serious. Even his funny bone had a stick up its ass. Lorna swooned over Scott and Jean, and then she settled for the next best thing. That was okay because I dated Zelda at the ice cream shop for a little bit. We were all happy!” Despite Bobby's mock exclamation, his eyes made it plain that he had not been remotely happy. “They dated right in front of me and I couldn't say shit because I moved on and nobody can compete with a Summers. Scott beat out Warren for Jean. How could I compete with that? Alex was bigger, stronger, more handsome and buff. And he gave Lorna what she wanted, what I couldn't.”

Bobby trailed off again, unsure of what that even was. All he knew was that it wasn't him. But then he realized just how much he'd been rambling. “So, yeah. I don't know much, Kennedy. I'm just here.”

“It’s just… I dunno… don’t make jokes at the other person’s expense. Especially if you want to kiss them,” Kennedy said with a shrug as she continued to drive into town. “Or who knows? Maybe I’m too serious?”

She hadn’t really grown up in an environment that prompted humor and laughter. The Kelly house was formal and proper, living under a microscope made everything incredibly calculated, even things like laughter. Then she thought about laughing until her stomach hurt with Jace, that made her stomach ache for completely different reasons.

“I dunno, I think the right person for you means that you don’t have to apologize or feel bad about who you are and how you are. It shouldn’t be a struggle to find common ground… all of it should be easy.” Kennedy’s idealizations of a relationship came more from books than life experiences but she still knew that she wanted romance in her life, greasy burgers and joking around weren’t what the love of her life would offer her. “I know you miss Lorna and she was the best relationship you’ve had, but it sounds like it wasn’t a perfect fit for both of you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know it,” Bobby groused. He shifted in his seat and stared out the window. “Jean said the same thing and I know you’re both right. I guess… I dunno, I wish I could go back and do things different. The only chance I have to do it different is in the now, though, and that’s what I’m trying to do. You don’t like being teased, especially if you think I wanna kiss you. Got it. I’ll try to remember that.”

“Thanks,” Kennedy replied with an awkward nod of her head, Bobby had gotten the gist of what she was saying but maybe not the whole picture. She could at least tell he was trying and that counted for something.

She parked her car in the same spot she always did when delivering her community service mailers to the post office, it was close to the center of town and made it easy to walk to most other places in Salem Center.

“So where is this diner with burgers and milkshakes I’ve heard so much about?” Kennedy asked after dropping off her mail. “I was supposed to go there with Bliss and Connor at one point, but they bailed and never took me.”

“You didn’t miss much there.” Bobby couldn’t hold back a cringe. “Let’s just say they weren’t good together and Connor didn’t know the half of it.” Cocking his thumb over his shoulder, Bobby said, “Up the street on the corner. Shecky’s is the best greasy spoon in Westchester.” He clapped her on the shoulder and guided her across the street. “Come on, you’ll love it!”

“Only if I can have fries and a vanilla shake with it.” Kennedy said with a smile as they walked together to the diner. Things were by no means perfect between Bobby and Kennedy but this was a start towards at least being friends. “Thanks for finally saying the hard things, Bobby, I appreciate that more than you know.”

Last year, if a pretty girl had talked about having fries and a shake, Bobby would've been tempted to make a reference to her posterior. Multiple near death experiences in the span of a year have an effect on a guy, though, and Bobby was finally coming into an appreciation for the finer things in life. At the very least, he was willing to display some maturity. “Don't mention it, babe. But remember, tonight's my treat.”

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