The Debrief

Posted on Fri Nov 24th, 2023 @ 11:43am by Charles Xavier & Ethan Hale

1,423 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Episode 3: X-Tra Ecclesiam
Location: X-Mansion
Timeline: August 18th, 1990

Ethan arrived back at the mansion just after five o'clock. After knocking, he walked into the Professor's office with his shoulders slumped.

"I'm sorry, Professor. I did meet with Quicksilver, but things didn't go well at all. I think I may have blown any chance of him turning to the light."

Setting aside his notes for his upcoming debate, Professor Xavier set his attention to Ethan. "Take a seat. I want you to think carefully about every detail and then tell me what happened." He folded his hands together. "Start at the beginning."

Ethan heaved out a sigh as he took a seat. "Well, I found Quicksilver right where you said he'd be. I called out to him. In an instant, he was grabbing me and pulling his fist back like he was going to hit me. He asked if I'd been following him. He still thought I was with the Brotherhood and Magneto."

Nodding in understanding, the Professor said nothing and allowed Ethan to continue.

"I was kind of at a loss for words, so I told him I'd thought he was cute. He didn't like that. He took me to the ground. He thought I might have brought reinforcements so he checked around. I was able to get up in the meantime."

"You seem to be none the worse for wear," the Professor observed. "Did you get through to him at all?"

"We argued for a bit, but I finally convinced him to look at the disk. I tried to convince him to come talk to you, but he wouldn't and made me leave. I think it may be a lost cause. I mean he did seem interested in the information, but I don't know."

The Professor smiled and shook his head. "If there is anything in which I refuse to believe, it's a lost cause. It may take time, it may cause grief, it may even lead to sacrifice, but no one is unreachable. Out of all of Magneto's servants, those twins are among his most powerful yet his most reluctant. And you, Ethan, have managed to lay more groundwork in this one instance than I've managed in years. I'm sorry it didn't go the way you had hoped, but it was still beneficial."

"Really?" The blond teen asked. "I thought I'd blown it. Especially the way I started. You know, my confession and how he reacted to it."

"He had no reason to trust you or not think you were leading an ambush," the Professor pointed out.

He sat up a little straighter. "So, what do we do next?"

"Now we wait," the Professor said. "Either we turn up more intel and try again, or curiosity will overcome his caution and he will make contact. What I would like to know is what you have learned, if anything, from this experience?"

Ethan thought for a few moments before responding. "I shouldn't have told him I thought he was cute. Not because I don't think so, but because it could have jeopardized the mission. It could have gone so much worse."

"Good," the Professor said approvingly. "Mission creep is the biggest threat to any operation, not to mention the lack of trust for such a comment in that context."

"I could also say I've learned to expect the unexpected and to watch my ass. But that, I already knew."

The Professor nodded again. No need for comment there.

"But, how do I deal with it, Professor? I kind of a double outcast. I'm gay and though I'm not a mutant, that's how everyone sees me."

While Xavier didn't particularly agree, he said nothing yet. He only cocked his head and listened.

"I don't even know how to approach some guy I think I might have an interest in, or that I like." Ethan fought for words. "It's not the same thing as being straight. If some straight guy asks a girl out or tells her she's beautiful, she may turn him down but she's not going to beat him up or kill him."

Professor Xavier quirked an eyebrow. "Go on."

"And even if I find someone, which I don't see happening, we won't ever be able to marry."

Bingo. The Professor smiled with compassionate understanding.

"I don't know how to deal with all these confusing thoughts in my head." Ethan finally fell silent.

Taking a breath, the Professor chose his words carefully. "Ethan, you have some differences in your life experiences which do indeed place you in significant minority categories, but those categories do not place an undue burden which is not common to all people." He held up a hand. "Let me explain my meaning. It's like the tale of the Prince and the Pauper. Each envied one another's life because they saw freedom from what haunted them without ever realizing the enormous weight the other carried which they were not equipped to carry themselves."

He paused a moment before continuing. "I'm not telling you that your feelings are in error or that your fears are unfounded. I am saying the school library is filled with stories of conventionally attractive, heterosexual humans who described their lives precisely as you have, though perhaps with different details relative to their time."

When he smiled, he projected telepathic reassurance. "The unique thing about pain and suffering is that it's entirely subjective. Whether neurological or emotional, it is impossible to compare one person's internal experience to another's. You may take something in stride that cripples someone else while someone else brushes off something that haunts you. Don't fall into the trap of comparisons because that leads to resenting your differences as negative traits. Your differences are what make you who you are, and it's up to you what you do with them, not what you fear someone else may do."

Ethan, whether convinced by the professor's words or his subtle telepathy released. He was still somewhat on edge but was feeling much better. "I hear what you're saying sir and I agree for the most part." He lifted his wings and pointed to his face. "I didn't make myself this way. Someone forced it on me. So, forgive me if I wish I were just a normal teenager. Someone who hasn't had to kill. I just can't help myself for feeling that way."

"You have nothing for which you need to ask forgiveness," the Professor said meekly.

"As for my being gay, well I don't know if I'm proud of it per se, but it is who I am. I have no desire to change or be straight, that's just not who I am. I know it's not going to be easy, but I can deal with it. I guess I can deal with having powers and everyone thinking I'm a mutant."

"If it's any consolation," the Professor said, "the fact what was done to you did not kill you suggests that you carry precursor genetic markers for the X-Gene. While you may not be a mutant, were you to sire any offspring, there is a solid possibility they would be." The Professor smiled kindly. "Most of our differences are quite superficial. No matter who you are or what was done to you, Ethan, you still have the power and personal agency to decide the course of your life for yourself." Folding his hands in front of him over his desk, the Professor asked, "What would you like to do now?"

"If you mean right now, now, I want to crash. I need to sleep." Ethan thought for a moment before adding, "If you're talking about what I want to do with my life, it would be to become an advocate. Maybe an attorney like Thurgood Marshall."

The Professor perked up at that. "I hadn't realized you held an interest in law. If you admire Justice Marshall so much, perhaps I could arrange a meeting." A knowing twinkle shone in his eye. "You might say he and I speak the same language."

"You could do that?" Ethan asked "That would be perfect. I've always admired him and..." He paused. "Wait, what do you mean the two of you speak the same language?

"Some secrets aren't mine to share," the Professor said cryptically. "I'll see if I can't arrange a meeting." He smiled at Ethan. "You've had a long day. Why don't you get some rest? We can talk more tomorrow if you wish."

"Thanks, Professor. Like I said, I am tired. I need to hit the sack. I'll see you tomorrow."

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