Once Upon a Time

Posted on Mon Jan 15th, 2024 @ 7:45pm by Charles Xavier & Scott Summers & Jean Grey
Edited on on Sun Nov 17th, 2024 @ 3:16pm

4,743 words; about a 24 minute read

Mission: Episode 0: X Lang Syne
Location: X-Mansion
Timeline: 1981

“Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, Dr. Xavier. When the psychiatrist suggested you, we thought it would take months before we were able to get a referral.” The middle aged man entered Xavier’s office, shook his hand and spoke with such gratitude. “As I mentioned on the phone, I’m Dr. John Grey and this is my wife Elaine…”

The woman at his side waved hello, petite and red haired, she still dressed like she participated in the counterculture in her youth.

“And this is our little girl, Jeannie.”

Hands escorted her forward, a child no older than twelve stood before him. They had placed her in a dress, trimmed in ribbons and lace. Her long red hair, like her mother’s, was curled and adorned with a bow. She was beautiful and delicate, like a fragile porcelain doll. And just like a doll, she had dead, emotionless eyes.

Jean didn’t look up at him, she seemed barely aware of where she was or what was happening. She merely stared at nothing, a blank look on her face.

“She was witness to an accident six months ago and she just hasn’t been the same since.” When Elaine finally spoke, there was such heartache in voice. “She hardly eats or sleeps, she’s lost interest in everything she once enjoyed, she prefers to be alone most of the time. When she does talk, she says the most haunting things. But for the most part she just sits, like this…”

“She hasn’t made any progress with her current treatment,” John continued. “They want to put on medication and maybe institutionalize her. We don’t want that for her. Jeannie was such a vibrant, sweet little girl before the accident, you’re our last hope. Do you think you can help her?”

“Perhaps,” said Charles. He fiddled with the armrest of his new wheelchair and removed a yellow legal pad. “I would need to conduct an evaluation in order to know for certain. Would it be all right if I spoke with Jean alone for a few moments?”

~Yes, I suppose that would be fine~

“Yes, I suppose that would be fine,” Elaine said.

John looked at his wife in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“I…” Elaine looked confused.

~On second thought, perhaps you're right~

“On second thought, dear, perhaps you're right,” John said.

~We’ll be just outside outside in the hall~

“Jeannie,” said Elaine. “We'll be just outside in the hall.”

As the two adults stood up, Charles smiled warmly at them. “Thank you. It should only be a few moments.”

Once they left and the door closed behind them, Charles set his legal pad aside and prepared himself for a potential ordeal. He had felt this young lady's telepathy from the moment their family car entered the premises. Immense trauma had locked her inside himself. If there was any way for him to know if he could help her, he needed to apply the direct approach.

~Jean Grey. My name is Charles Xavier. I would like for us to become friends. Can you hear me?~

Xavier was met with a tidal wave of emotions rather than cognitive thoughts; sadness, grief, anger, confusion, guilt, frustration and despair, they all overwhelmed her and swirled together until her mind became a sickening, muddy tone. No wonder she had become so withdrawn, the environment of her mind was such a chaotic and sad place, becoming numb was the only way to protect herself from all of it.

~* ‘Yes’ *~ Her voice was small but there was such power in it, an otherworldly sort of feeling. ~* ‘You can talk like me.’ *~

~Indeed. For most of my life. I know what it is to retreat within myself to hide from the overwhelming ocean of other people's thoughts and feelings around me. People like us see and know things that may never have meant to be known~

There was great power within this child but it was almost as if… no, speculation would be unhelpful. Charles focused his mind so that he could be more clear, to attenuate the emotive distortion that surrounded Jean. But it was like playing with fire.

~Would you care to join me out here? You need not come all the way out yet if you don't wish. I have something to show you but it will be difficult to see where you are~

She aggressively shook her head, making her red curls shake against her shoulders.
~* ‘I don’t like it out there. Bad things happen out there. I’m safer here.’ *~

But he felt her curiosity, how lonely she had been and despite her crippling depression there was a desire to improve. Jean knew she couldn’t do it alone.
~* ‘What is it?’ *~

While she battled within herself, Charles had returned to his legal pad. He made a few long, gliding strokes of his pen and then turned it around. It was a smiling face.

~It’s happiness, Jean. You won't find it tucked down all alone. It's found out here, in the wide, scary world. Sometimes in our journey we stumble along the way, but there is goodness in this world, too, that can more than match the badness, the terror, the pain~

Along with his communication, Charles summoned the pride and joy he felt with his first student, Scott, who had recently overcome his own troubles to rescue a troubled young man from prison.

Charles went on to project the hope he had felt when he had liberated a gang of street orphans in Cairo from a monstrous creature like himself yet still so horrifically different. The shift from disbelief to gratitude in their faces was a memory he would long cherish. It was what inspired him to found his school in the first place.

~I know you have seen such darkness, Jean. If you're willing to let me in a little at a time, I would love to show you the light that can banish it~

~* ‘But you can’t promise that the pain won’t come back.’ *~

A lancet of pain invaded their shared space, sharp and excruciating. Whispered memories of sobbing, gasping tears, of crippling fear, and blood followed the pain before Charles felt the girl retreat again.

~* ‘I don’t want to feel that again, I don’t want to die… Annie didn’t want to die either.’*~

Was that another voice with her or was she fragmenting? It was difficult for Charles to tell without a closer inspection.

~Life is pain because pain is a feeling~ Charles pressed. ~But there are other feelings that can surprise us just as much as the fear of death. Annie doesn't hurt anymore but you do. That is how you know you're alive, Jean. Will you trust me to show you a better life?~

Apprehension and fear flooded her thoughts. Jean didn’t want to experience anything like that ever again. Death was too absolute, too permanent, it meant the end of everything.
So she trapped herself in a cage of her own making, refusing to live because the thought of death was too much for her to bear.

But Jean missed life.

Her chest swelled as she inhaled deeply, bracing herself for the next step.

~* ‘Okay. I trust you.’ *~ Xavier felt her reach out to him.

Charles accepted her link. The memory he had in mind to show her was very specific. There were so many associated memories not fit for a child that he needed to be careful. Wartime violence. Post-traumatic stress. Romance.

Carefully flipping through his memories as he would tabbing through a Rolodex, he found the appropriate one and pulled it up to share.

\\\ He stood up from a wheelchair with great effort and a small but sturdy hand under his arm for assistance. His hands ached from supporting his weight on balance bars for days on end. The drag of his feet threatened to pull him down to the ground. But he took a step. Eyes from an encouraging face pulled him forward.

“Yes, Charles…that's the way. Just a little farther.”

After one step was down, the next one came easier. He slid his hands down the rails to adjust his balance. He'd nearly tripped but he recovered by turning his stumble three more rapid steps.

Sweat poured down his face and stung his eyes. But he'd done it.

“Oh, Charles! You did it!” She clapped in excitement. “That's enough for today. Let me help you back to your chair.”

Exhausted though he was, Charles couldn't help but return her joy with his own. He'd done it. What had seemed impossible had become real. Not only had taken his first steps again after weeks of disability, the full realization had finally set in. He had survived that war zone. He was free. \\\

~* ‘That was nice.’ *~ For the first time in a long time, Jean smiled.

~Triumph awaits you as well~ The Professor let the memory fade slowly so that Jean would get the full measure of it. ~It would be my honor to show you the way. If you feel the same, then I need you to tell your parents that you want to stay here~

While it was true that Charles had given John and Elaine a subtle push into allowing him and Jean to speak alone, it wasn't anything they hadn't already decided for themselves. A pivotal decision such as this one, however, was not fit for psychic intervention. Jean's parents would have his recommendation either way, so this step was as much for Jean herself as anyone else. She has to want it, and want it bad enough, that she would express it.

Xavier pressed the remote button on his desk which opened the double doors of his office. “Dr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, would you please rejoin us?”

The nervous couple made their way back into the office. There was fear on their faces as they entered but then they saw Jean smiling.

“Jeannie!” Elaine gasped and ran over to hug the girl. The first sign of anything other than sadness or distance on their daughter’s face in months.

“How did you do it?” John asked Xavier in stunned disbelief. “We’ve tried everything for months now…and in minutes.”

Charles held up his drawing. To the eyes of John and Elaine, there was a bulleted list filled with handwritten observations and insights instead of the smiling face doodle.

“I'll spare you the technical details and simply offer assurances that I believe Miss Jean is locked away in there yet quite eager to come out.” He smiled at her for a moment before returning his attention to her parents. “For quality of life, I recommend the boarding program offered here. Therapy will take time but I am confident that Jean is capable of making a full recovery from her trauma.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Elaine sighed with relief. “But to have her leave home, I don’t know…”

“We have some questions,” John chimed in. He glanced back at Jean who was practically giggling at Xavier’s illusion. “Jeannie, sunshine, do you think you could wait for us in the hall while we talk?”

Jean looked at her father, her green eyes finally focusing on him rather than looking past him, another tiny miracle for today.

“Okay," the girl replied to her father.

~* ‘Can I look around?’ *~ She was a fast learner, speaking directly to Xavier. He was starting to get the impression that Jean just needed someone to understand what she was and to help her manage the power she held. ~* ‘I don’t want to just sit, my mind wanders…to bad places’ *~ A reminder that there was still a long road ahead of them.

~Of course, Jean~ Charles Xavier was adept at splitting his focus between two conversations. ~Make yourself at home. By the time your parents and I are finished, this will be your new home for as long as you wish for it to be~

Flickers of the mansion’s layout flashed through Jean’s mind. Hallways. Library. Day room. Solarium. Swimming pool. Hedge maze.

Conspicuously absent were pictures of other people. Jean would have to find out some things for herself.

Even though her conversation with the Professor had been brief, telepathic communication happened at a breakneck speed. Thoughts and feelings passed freely without the hassle of expressing intent. Stories and their context happened simultaneously, words became less important when the concept could be provided without them. Jean understood that she was different, that the trauma she struggled with was more than what the other specialist had thought it to be and Xavier had the ability to help her.

For the first time in a long time, Jean felt hopeful. It was with that optimism that she dared to explore, to step outside of herself and try something new.

She slowly wandered the hallways of the mansion, its dark paneled walls and polished floors made the building feel regal and royal to Jean, so she stepped carefully making sure that her Mary Janes didn’t scuff or squeak as she walked.

Jean found the library and the day room first, the closet to Xavier’s office. It was often the first place people explored. Ceiling to floor books lined the walls with additional shelving creating rows and aisles to house even more books. It reminded her of the college her father taught at, but she had never seen a library like this in a home before.

She saw the pool through the back doors, serene and trembling blue water surrounded by lounge chairs and umbrellas. The pool was vacant but the very idea of being able to swim everyday in the summer months made her buzz with excitement.

Jean examined the photos and paintings in the gallery, the house seemed old and the pictures here confirmed it, the legacy of a family hanging on these walls.

She made her way back to the foyer and the grand staircase that would take her upstairs. Jean wasn’t sure if she should go up there, second floors were usually bedrooms and therefore private. But still she was curious. Jean climbed a few of the steps when she heard… no, she didn’t hear…she felt someone at the top of the stairs watching her, hiding.

“Hello?” Jean hadn’t used her voice like this in a long time and she heard the strain in it as she called out “Is anyone there?”

Scott had been roaming the upstairs for some time. There were visitors and he had wanted to make himself scarce. The over-sized ruby-quartz glasses were far too big for his face, at least from what he saw in the mirror. Feeling like a weirdo was a fair trade for not being a danger to everyone around him. Even so, he still preferred his own company for the time being.

But then the girl with the fire-engine red hair appeared in the great hall. He could tell because the hue and shade stood out against everything else, a burst of neon scarlet in a dark sea of crimson. It took him a moment before he realized he was staring.

“Hi…” Scott didn't know what else to say. In some ways she didn't even seem real. The air around her felt like it crackled. Her face was pretty but she looked sad. That made him descend a few steps.

“Hi.” Her voice grew soft and shy once she saw him. Jean wasn’t expecting to find someone her age, who happened to also be a boy. He was tall and thin, the length of his arms and legs looked like they didn’t fit with his body but the large pair of glasses on his face was the feature that was impossible to ignore, as they hid most of his face from view.

“Do you go to school here?” Jean mustered the confidence to ask a question as she rounded the banister and climbed two of the stairs. She was dressed in nicer clothes than expected, an oversized bow in her hair, a frilly dress, knee high socks and black vinyl Mary Janes, it looked like she was here for a formal event, or interview.

“Yeah,” said Scott, watching her intently as she took those two steps. “I live here now.”

~I was adopted by the school because no one else wanted me~ The thought rose up from within a surge of emotion that Scott clamped down almost immediately. Sadness, loneliness, but also gratitude and the most stubborn form of hope that ever was. Life was different for him now. Maybe not great, but after so many years of one flagrantly shitty thing after another, even something different seemed good.

“Are you going to stay here too?” The question was more curious than anything. An undertone of captivation was there, though Scott didn't quite recognize it himself. Lots of kids came and went during his years at the orphanage. This certainly wasn't the first girl he had met. But something was different about her, like she carried a secret no one else knew in those bright eyes.

She had heard his thoughts and knew better than to comment on them. It was a lesson she had learned early on. Jean had responded to one of her mother’s internal questions, what to have for dinner, and her mother had shrieked and dropped the plate she had been holding. Her telepathy scared her mother, so she started to hide herself from them and the cacophony of voices that spoke to her.

While Jean knew she shouldn’t respond to his thoughts, she was terrible at hiding the emotions that the thoughts created. She frowned at learning he was an orphan, like something out of a book. She had never met anyone who didn’t have at least one parent. Combine that with his confession that no one wanted him, it made Jean feel bad for him.

“Yeah, I think so.” It had taken Jean longer to reply than normal, she had been lost in her thoughts and what she had learned about him. A characteristic that made people uneasy around her. “My parents are talking to the Professor right now.” She continued as she climbed one more stair. “Do you like it here? This house feels like a palace, it’s so big and grand.”

~It was scary at first, so empty and lonely~

Jean nodded her head in agreement to a statement that hadn’t been made. She understood that empty and lonely feeling, when a house was dark and silent it felt like a tomb. A comparison that made ugly intrusive thoughts snake through her mind making Jean want to retreat back into that place where those thoughts couldn’t find her.

It wasn't every day the mansion received a new kid. That was actually exciting. Scott broached a faint smile for the first time, wan and subdued, but for him it was a lighthouse beacon.

Jean caught his smile and it stopped her horrid thoughts, Scott’s smile brought her back into this moment.

“It's okay,” he said. “Better than the orphanage…” Why did he say that? It wasn't exactly a secret but it was not something he liked talking about. Something about her said that he could tell her anything and it wouldn't matter. “It got better when more kids came. Most people just visit though.”

“Do…” That shyness suddenly took over again and Jean couldn’t help but avert her eyes from his. “Do you want to show me around?”

She looked up at him again, through long dark lashes. “Please?”

“Um…” Scott felt his heart lurch into his throat and refused to be swallowed back down. The sudden spike in his pulse made his hands clammy. “Sure, I guess. What… what do you want to see first?”

It was a dumb question. How would she know? Scott would have to make an executive decision. “It’s mostly just a bunch of empty rooms up here for now. One of them’s mine. The Professor has the big one…” He trailed off, wondering what she would like. He thought about the solarium, but then he realized he didn’t even know her name. “My name is Scott. What’s yours?”

She waited for him on the stairs and only when he reached her did she venture downward. When they had arrived at the ground floor together she finally responded.

“I’m Jean.” She timidly tucked a strand of scarlet hair behind her ear before looking up at him. “It’s nice to meet you Scott.”

“You too…” Scott squeaked out in a voice barely audible for human hearing.

Another pause between them and a nervous sort of energy filled the quiet room. It took Jean a moment to try to find her words, to push them towards more conversation rather than just staring at each other.

“I’ve seen the library and the day room.” She blurted out the statement, desperate to say anything. “What do you do for fun?”

Scott shrugged. “I like to throw stuff in the lake.” That sounded boring and dumb. Girls don’t like to do stuff like that. “Um… there’s a cool climbing tree outside.” No, that was even stupider. She was wearing a nice dress. Shoot! Precious seconds were ticking by and Scott felt like he was losing her interest. “What do you like to do?”

“I…” Jean stopped before she really started, so much of the world had lost its joy for her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had fun. That was a lie, Jean had been playing with Annie.

“I’ve been struggling with finding things that make me happy lately.” Her voice became soft as she dared to confess something personal to Scott and he saw that heartbreaking sadness return to her. “It’s one of the things the Professor is helping me with, why he wants me to live here.”

Scott nodded. He could relate. But he said nothing.

Another pause, and he watched her throat bob as she stifled her emotions. Jean felt his eyes on her despite the red lenses. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him again.

“I didn’t know there was a lake, the Professor didn’t mention that.” Scott watched her try, as she made the effort to return to her conversation with him. “And I don’t really know what a Solarium is.”

Scott paused for a second. The blood drained from his face, leaving his complexion a stark pale. Otherwise, his face became unreadable. A cold sweat trickled. He distinctly knew that he had not mentioned the mansion’s solarium. It was on the tip of his tongue, but he asked her name first and then he’d forgotten until just now. That must mean…

“You can read minds,” Scott said, speaking his conclusion aloud. “Can’t you? Like the Professor.”

“Yes,” Jean responded as she watched him pale and harden from the realization. She didn’t know the proper etiquette about being a telepath. Was she supposed to tell everyone as soon as they met? Was she supposed to deny it for as long as possible?

But she recognized that look of fear and horror at being able to hear things she shouldn’t. Jean immediately regretted this, she had dared to reach out today and she was met with the same offended response. She took a step away from him, giving him more physical distance between them to compensate for the invasion into his mind.

That dark, numb hiding place in the depths of her mind suddenly felt inviting again.

“ButIdon’twantto” Jean said the words so fast that they blurred together. He felt her sadness this time. How the lack of control over her powers created so much isolation. How painful it was to see him react to her like everyone else did.

“Hey, it's okay,” Scott said. “I'm… different too.” Fear came over him even more but it was a different brand. It was the fear of alienation and rejection. Quite similar to what he was feeling from Jean, in fact. But Professor Xavier had said there was no need to fear in this place.

Scott took a chance. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

Seizing the moment, he took her by the hand and led her through the rear hallway and sitting room. Jean seemed only half there now. Large double doors opened to the outside.

“Look to the east,” Scott said, “to where the sky and ground meet.”

And then he pulled off his glasses. The optic blast didn't come immediately. Scott recalled a particular bully who had thrown him into a mud puddle the year before. Humiliation and fear triggered the rush of self-preservation. A mild cramp seized the back of his head and radiated through his temples.

The optic blast didn't come out as beams. It flared from both eyes like searchlights, fanning out to fill the entire horizon. He looked upward, both for safety and for full visual effect.

Jean’s green eyes widened as she watched what he could do. Her whole body tensed and she jumped a little from his display. She had never seen anything like what he had done with his eyes. His gaze alone could cause destruction.

Once his demonstration was finished, he put his glasses back onto his face and looked at Jean. “That's why I have to wear these. People can get hurt if I don't. Now you know my secret. Now it's okay if you overhear my thoughts.”

There was mild strain in his voice. That blast has taken a toll on him. But he hoped it would make up for offending Jean with his panic. Scott resolved not to panic with her again if he could help it.

Jean looked up at him, the large ruby frames returned and obstructed his face but she could still see and feel his discomfort from performing the act. She realized what he had offered her, his own damning secret that had brought him to this school. Xavier had promised this was a safe place for her and for him, that through the risky act of vulnerability they could find salvation.

“Thank you,” Jean squeaked the words, “for showing me why you’re here. It makes me feel a little better knowing that I’m not alone.” She looked down at her shiny black shoes again as she dared to talk about her telepathy, something she had never done before, not until today. “I promise I won’t read your thoughts on purpose, it just kind of happens sometimes. People are uncomfortable when they know I can, but they never think about how uncomfortable it makes me.” Jean shook her head trying to free herself from an intrusive thought through physical movement. “I don’t like a lot of what I hear. I wish I hadn’t been born like this.”

“Don't make promises you can't keep,” Scott said. “Hopefully I'll learn to control my power. Every time I knocked down a wall or something and scared people half to death, I always promised not to do it again. It made me feel like a liar because it always did.” He took her hand again. “Friends don't have to make promises. If you accidentally read my mind, it's okay. I won't be mad. I'll try to keep good thoughts so they don't make you sad.”

He was the first person who had ever told her it was okay if she accidentally read his mind. Combine that with his sweet attempt at helping keep her in a good mood, it was the first time in a long time that Jean was happy.

“Thanks, Scott, that means more to me than you realize.” Jean looked at Scott with a smile, it was a sweet and heartwarming look of gratitude. “And if it matters, I like your glasses.”

A nervous hand adjusted the heavy lenses. “Really? I feel like a weirdo.” The smile on her face told Scott that she was telling the truth. “Maybe I'll grow to like them too.”

They looked at each again, though with more peace in their adolescent hearts. Maybe this Xavier school thing would turn out well after all.

RSS Feed