A Trip to Muir island
Posted on Wed Aug 21st, 2024 @ 9:36am by Scott Summers & Moira MacTaggert & Aurora Summers
7,315 words; about a 37 minute read
Mission:
Episode 5: Days of Fortune Past
Location: various
Timeline: October 18th, 1990
Aurora stood waiting for Scott’s arrival, this would be the first time Scott had seen her with her new look, she wondered exactly what he’d have to say about it. In all honesty she was looking forward to the trip to Muir Island, to get to find out more about the progress of her pregnancy. Her rounded stomach was becoming more apparent, if Jade’s calculations were correct, and she was sure they were, she was around 14 weeks now even though it had only been 9 since she fell pregnant.
One of the smaller X-Corp jets that had been on loan to the Baxter Building came hurtling out of the southern horizon. It quickly decelerated and made a quick VTOL descent into the hangar. Scott get the engines idling, which still made for a louder roar than was pleasant.
Stepping down from the cockpit, he jogged to the control room which was quiet enough for him to think straight.
~Aurora...~ The last time he had reached out to her, just the two of them, it had been for a much more unpleasant encounter. Today they were going to find out more about their baby. Even if matters had changed, the joy of a baby didn't. Scott knew himself to have mixed feelings. He expected Aurora would as well and resolved to make her as comfortable as possible. It would be an awkward 6 hour flight each way otherwise. ~It's time~
“I know it is.” Aurora appeared in the control room doorway, her clothing showing a more pronounced rounding to her stomach now. “From now on please don’t call for me like that, not anymore.” Her mind was closed to him, keeping her thoughts and feelings locked away, as far as she was concerned the bond they had once shared no longer existed. “Shall we get going?”
"Sure," Scott said in response to both questions.
Things were going to be awkward between them. He was at peace with that. A long series of decisions were made that would have life-long consequences. If he wasn't man enough to own them, then he wasn't much of a man at all. The jet engines idled loud enough that he trotted back to the fuselage and held out a hand to assist Aurora in boarding.
Aurora accepted the hand up but let it go as soon as she could afterwards, Scott’s touch did nothing but make her feel even more angry at both him and Jean than she was already feeling.
The jet was smaller than the Blackbird. Flight gear would be preferable. Scott ushered Aurora forward to the cockpit where she could sit beside him. He gestured to a headset similar to the one he slid on himself. "Check, check. Can you hear me?"
Picking up the headset and putting it on Aurora nodded. “Yes, I can hear you. So, how long is this flight going to be?”
"Several hours," Scott said. "So you might as well get comfortable." He turned the engines from a low to high idle before engaging the thrusters, though he waited for Aurora to fasten her restraints to before he put the jet in motion.
Once they were in the air, Scott activated the autopilot and allowed himself to lean back into the seat. "So... how's things?" It was an awkward question but Scott refused to present awkwardness. He was here to support the woman he had abandoned. Regardless of anything else, she was the mother of his child and was owed far more than he'd given her so far. "Life at the Mansion settled down at all?"
As much as Aurora wanted to be alone, this trip to Muir Island was a necessity for the health of both her son & herself. Spending hours trying to avoid Scott’s presence wasn’t going to work. “It’s going okay. Training is proving to be more difficult now, it seems my pregnancy is interfering with my abilities. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t, my control is proving to be a somewhat erratic, and I’m imagining it’ll only get worse.”
"Control is something that comes and goes sometimes," Scott said, trying to be encouraging. "I still can't walk around without my visor or shades. Don't be discouraged or fear the pregnancy will set you back too much. You've always worked hard and it shows. Just remember that ups and downs are part of training."
Aurora nodded. “I’ll remember that. I can fly now you know, plus our trip to the Savage Land temporarily increased my abilities while we were there. It was...amazing!” She smiled for the first time since boarding the jet.
"It's a pretty unbelievable place..." Scott lost himself in reverie for a moment as he recalled the time the X-Men went to rescue a team of researchers. "But it sounds like your adventures there were far more intense than mine. Monsters from another dimension? That's pretty intense, Aurora. Well done."
Aurora nodded. “It was a case of move on or sit and stew, so I chose to move on.” She absentmindedly played with her hair. “Now I’ve lost my friend Bobby too, he was always the one who said everybody leaves, now he’s gone and left us.” Her smile disappeared. “Yet someone else who wanted to be with you, but at least Bobby got his wish.”
Ouch. Scott deserved that. There was no easy way to explain the situation with Bobby. The guy was a pistol on his best day. Lately he'd been a burning train wreck. But Aurora's undertone was the real scorcher. More than anything, Scott wanted to make peace with Aurora, restore the innocent connection they once had that was destroyed by... choices.
"You're here with me now," Scott said gently. "I'll make good on every promise I made, Aurora. I know how unbelievable that sounds, so I'm not going to make them all over again. I'm just going to make good on them." Knowing her telepathy, Scott held firm on a singular thought. ~Setting things right never meant I would abandon you~
Aurora offered a nod of her head. “Yeah well, it’s not like there’s anyone else out there for me. Besides who would want a girlfriend whose body is geared for breeding!” She paused. Deep down she was angry, very angry and she daren’t dig into it because she didn’t know what would happen.
~Maybe a nice Mormon boy...~ Scott thought to himself before clamping down on his mind. He knew better than to allow stray thoughts around a telepath, much less one who hated him and wouldn't see the humor in his wit.
"Have you thought of any names yet?" Scott asked, guiding the conversation and his inner thoughts in a safer direction. "For our son, I mean."
“Actually I...” Aurora paused. “No, I haven’t, though thinking on it now I quite like Connor, after our friend Connor. Plus it’s a nice name anyway.” She gave Scott a curious look. “What about you? Any names?”
Scott chuckled at the thought of their son sharing a name or any other likeness with Connor Bruin. "Well, actually..." He looked out the windshield to the horizon, fumbling for the words. "My father's name was Christopher. I never actually knew him well. He was a pilot for the Air Force. Held the rank of Major when he... when the plane went down. That's part of what led me to train so hard in the mansion flight simulator."
Steeling himself with a breath, he gave Aurora a vulnerable sidelong glance that was visible even through his visor. He'd never rely on glasses in flight.
"Never knowing him, I only had bits and pieces to hold onto. And then... life got so hard... I forgot even most of those things. There's... just..." Scott paused and made a grimace. Untangling feelings enough to express them coherently was often a struggle, at least in matters of the heart. "I've always had this hole inside, you know? I lost my family and I always wanted a new one. Now, with our son..." He shook his head and chuckled in spite of his apprehension. "I don't know, maybe it's stupid. I want to be the father to him that I never had. My dad was a good man from what everyone and everything tells me, but I don't know who he was, not really. I guess... I guess I was thinking..."
It was so hard to say, but Scott pushed through. "Christopher Alexander Summers. A memorial to what I've lost and found, a living promise to give better than I got." He finally turned to look at Aurora directly. "Do you hate it?"
“I don’t hate it, but...” Aurora paused. “It’s just...you’re choosing to name our son after your family, what about me? What part do I get to choose?” She sighed. “I guess Christopher isn’t so bad, I’m not sure about Alexander, and we’re not married anymore. I want my son to have my surname.”
"Isn't Windsor just the name of the foster family who adopted you? The one you ran away from?" Scott regretted asking it as soon as he did. "All right. If that's the name you want, then that's the name he gets. You're doing the hard part." If they could compromise about the name, then they should be able to work the rest out, right? "We can figure out a middle name later."
Aurora sat quiet for a moment, she was being purposely awkward and Scott being so accommodating of her demands wasn’t making her feel good about it. “No, you’re right. The Windsors were my adoptive family, and our son doesn’t deserve to carry on their legacy. Christopher Summers it is, I’d rather he have your surname than theirs, the same goes for me. I was going to change it back, but...” she shrugged her shoulders.
"That sounds great," Scott said, unsure of how to reply to Aurora keeping his last name. "Ah, yeah, so..." He chuckled nervously and then decided to kill it with kindness. "You probably won't need to worry about last names for long. Some guy will come along and sweep you off your feet before you know it."
“I doubt it” Aurora shook her head. “You could say I’ve learned my lesson on that one.” She gave him a knowing look. “You don’t want me keeping your surname do you? You’d rather I change it back and forget I ever married you.” She managed to keep the bitterness she felt out of her voice even though she was feeling it inside, clamping down on the shared connection they once had to keep Scott out of her head.
Scott found himself at a loss for words. "It's... complicated," he said, stalling for extra time to think. "There are pros and cons to it, I'll admit. And I'll go so far as to admit most of the cons are strictly personal. Most of the pros are more pragmatic." He rubbed his neck, wondering at how to make everybody happy. "I won't object if you choose to keep it. I think we have a fair understanding between us now. It won't bother me."
Aurora nodded. “I just...want to have the same name as our son.” She paused. “I wish I knew what to expect when we get to Muir Island. I’ve visited before but not under these circumstances.”
"We're all in uncharted waters, I think," Scott confessed. "But we're going to stick together. That's how we get through to the other side. No one left behind."
Aurora nodded. “No one left behind.”
As the two-person X-Jet descended toward the Mutant Research Center, the full scope of the facility came into view. The research center itself was a cluster of sleek, modular buildings designed to blend with the natural surroundings. The main building, with its large glass windows and angular design, stood out against the backdrop of rolling green hills and the gray-blue of the ocean.
The landing strip was located near the center of the island, a flat, open clearing that contrasted with the otherwise rugged forest terrain. Its clearly marked and well-maintained runway was designed for the occasional arrival and departure of aircraft as the primary mode of transportation to and from the island.
From a bird's eye view, Muir Island presents a stunning and dramatic landscape dominated by rocky cliffs that drop steeply into the churning sea below. The island's terrain is a mixture of verdant grasslands, dense forests, and craggy outcrops, all crisscrossed with narrow, winding paths that wound away from the central facility.
Bringing the jet in for a partially vertical landing, Scott had to perform a complex series of maneuvers that set the main engines nearly to idle while he engaged the landing gear. That allowed for RCS thrusters typically found on space modules to help guide the decelerating jet into position for a pitched landing with less taxying on the runway.
"Not bad, huh?" Scott asked Aurora once the jet had come to a stop inside the hangar. He had just pulled off a STOL (Short Takeoff and Landing) operation without the benefit of the Blackbird's advanced landing systems. "If you've been keeping up with the flight simulator, I could give you a few pointers on the way home..."
“Really!?” Aurora couldn’t help but smile at the idea of getting to fly the jet. “I’d like that.”
Down below was Moira. The jet's arrival had given her ample time to come greet them inside the hangar.
"Och, look who the cat dragged in!" she called out to Scott as he descended from the cockpit. "Scott, ye great big numpty, it's been too long! An' Aurora, lass, ye look bonnie as ever. Welcome back tae Muir Island! How was yer flight? A wee bit bumpy from the Doppler readings, nay?"
She clapped Scott on the back and offered the same to Aurora, her smile broad and warm.
Aurora smiled warmly, she liked Moria. “It’s nice to see you again Moira.”
"Come on, ye two, let's get ye settled. I've got a cuppa waiting for the both of ye an' plenty tae catch up on." Moira ushered them through the hangar and into the main lodge which connected the various wings and annexes. "Tell me, how's Charles daein'? Well, I pray, efter his ordeal wi' that awfu' Reverend Stryker."
"He's doing well, yes," Scott said tersely. Even though the Professor had sent him away before the Purifier attack, he still felt guilty for not being around to help. He glanced at Aurora, feeling a fresh pang of guilt over her as well. "Aurora helped bring him home, though."
Aurora offered an embarrassed smile. “It wasn’t just me, it was a whole team effort.” She gave Moira a curious look. “Will you be able to tell me more about what’s happening with my pregnancy, and what my...” she looked at Scott. “Our baby...” she looked back at Moira. “What abilities he might have?”
“Yes and no.” Moira said with a slight frown, it was strange that the girl wanted to know about the baby’s powers over many other factors. “Aye, I can definitely tell ye hoo yer pregnancy's progressin'. We hae plenty o' knowledge aboot fetal development tae gie ye a more complete picture than whit ye’ve learned sae far. But I cannae tell ye whit abilities yer wee one will hae. There’s nae way tae predict that at this point. Even though both parents hae the X-Gene, there’s ower 100 genes linked tae the mutation's expression. Pairt that wi’ yer ain unique genetic background, an' it’s near impossible tae predict whit will manifest.”
Scott nodded. "There's such a diversity of mutants out there, it really feels like there's no telling. Mainly we just want to know that he's healthy and safe."
“He’s already saved me once.” Aurora rested her hand on her stomach. “When Juggernaut attacked the Mansion, I was almost blown to smithereens but it barely touched me. The Professor wasn’t sure if in the heat of the moment I shielded myself without realising it, an automatic response to danger. Even if I had I’d have had some wounds, I barely had a mark.”
“Ah, lass, a fetus in the womb disnae hae the ability tae manifest mutant abilities. The expression o' the X-Gene mutation is triggered by gonadotropin-releasing hormone production, something yer bairn disnae hae yet. I think Charles is richt in sayin’ it was yer ain maternal instincts protectin’ ye and yer wee one frae the attack. Ye’re telekinetic, aye? I’ve seen Jean shield a whole stadium o' folk frae an incoming missile attack, so there’s definitely the chance yer powers could be that strong. Sometimes the simplest explanation is the maist logical one."
Moira nodded her head towards the door before she turned around and headed inside.
“Come inside and sit doon, we’ll review yer genetic testin’ results first."
The Scottish doctor led them through the medical ward of Muir’s facility into her private office that was located off of the exam rooms. Scott recognized the room from his last trip to Muir when he was here and caring for Jean. A serving tray with a teapot wrapped in a knitted cozy and three china cups sat on her desk. Moira began to fix each of them a cup.
“Cream or sugar in yer tea?”
"Both," Scott said, then added, "please."
Moira caught the hesitation and gave him a knowing smirk. "Ach, wid ye look at that! Is today the day Scott Summers finally remembered his manners?"
Scott just rolled his eyes behind his visor and another back. As sweet as Moira was, he knew better than to take the bait. All he needed now was for Aurora to pile on and he'd be cornered between the two of them.
Aurora almost chimed in but going anywhere near a happy memory with Scott hurt, so instead she said nothing. “Yes, please, Moira,” she offered a warm smile.
Moira chuckled once more as Scott narrowly missed the barrage of teasing. The news she was going to deliver was dense and heavy so she attempted to keep the mood a bit lighter before she began. “Manners or no, it’s that smile o' yours that keeps ye in everyone’s good graces.”
The doctor fixed their tea and handed it out to each of them before sitting down behind her desk. Moira took a few sips from her own cup before she continued. “We’ve got yer DNA results back, Aurora, an’ they’re a wee bit complicated. First off, yer relation tae Jean—it seems ye share a common ancestor in the lass known as Lady Jessica Grey. Based on the family tree Jean’s father provided, Lady Grey is a fifth generation relative tae Jean. In the simplest terms, that would make ye her sixth cousin, but that relation’s a wee bit muddled once we start tae review yer own DNA.”
Moira paused and drank more of her tea before she proceeded. “Yer DNA shows an excessive amount o' unnatural manipulation. There are dozens o' sequences that hae been inserted into yer DNA through a process known as genetic engineering. When a piece o' DNA’s been added, there are stop codons added in tae ensure the DNA is expressed correctly. There are several codons that can be used, an' most scientists tend tae use the same one every time. Every gene that’s been inserted into yer DNA has the same codon attached tae it. It almost serves as a signature for the work that’s been done. Which leads me tae believe that the same person added all o' these additional sequences o' DNA into yer DNA. I cannae say what their end goal was wi' altering yer DNA so heavily, but it seemed tae be intentional.”
While that tracked with what they had already learned of Nathaniel Essex, a century old mad scientist who had been experimenting on mutants. The Lady Jessica Grey was the first recorded case, though there were likely others before her.
Scott frowned heavily. "Can you say to what end these modifications were made?" He rubbed his chin with his thumb, as if that would wipe his frustration away. "What do they point to? Preventing disease? Guiding traits? That's a lot of work. It has to be for something."
Moira gave a cautious shrug that favored one shoulder. "I could spec'late, but wi'oot an unaltered strain fer comparison, it'd be nothin' but that. Spec'lation." She glanced between them and made an educated guess with which she was more comfortable. "D'ye ken who might've done this? I'd wager ye dae."
Aurora gave Moira a shake of her head. “I don’t know his name, all I know is that my mother spent a long time running from him. She gave me up to try and keep him from finding me, for all I know he found her after she left me.” She sighed. “So our son is all part of some plan? What am I supposed to be a walking mutant breeding factory? Am I supposed to become pregnant every time I make love!?” She sighed. “That’s not going to happen again anyway, there’s no one out there for me.”
"We believe him to be connected to a man named Nathaniel Essex," said Scott, the name bitter on his tongue. "If not the man himself, then he might be a descendant. Professor Xavier's research suggests a history of experimentation but nothing like what you've described... or maybe it's all just over my head." Leaning forward and lowering his head, Scott said, "I'm telling you this in order for you to be careful, Moira. We believe the same people who did this to Aurora were the same ones who tortured Jean. There's also a potential link between me and my brother Alex too. I wound up at a state orphanage that may have been funded by this guy." He looked at Aurora a moment, wondering whether she would add anything to that summary. "Just a lot of connections that are too strange to be coincidences."
Aurora frowned. “I don’t know anyone named Essex, all I know is what my mother told me when the Professor helped me with my nightmares. This man, or mutant, or whatever he is has been using the women in my family for generations. That’s why my mother left me at the orphanage, to try and protect me by hiding me from him.”
“Aye, the name’s handy as well as the link tae the orphanage.” Moira said with a furrowed brow and a bit of a scowl. “Whit was done tae Jean, it was monstrous. He took her apart while keepin' her intact.” The doctor shivered as she recalled how fragile Jean had been. “We’ll stop him so he never hurts another… Ah’ll gie a’ this information tae Sean, hopefully he can turn it intae a lead wi’ his Interpol connections.”
Moira finished her tea, the warm drink seemed to provide her with some comfort. “But we best nae waste anymair time, it taks a lot tae get here an’ tae get hame. We’ll head oan doon tae the exam room. Ah hae an ultrasound technician waitin' for us in the makeshift obstetrician room.”
The doctor led them down a sterile white hallway, the area felt a little cold but also a little comforting in its professional nature. The Mutant Research Center was a true medical facility, much better equipped than the infirmary of the mansion.
“Aurora, lass.” Moira stopped just before the door to the exam room. “D’ye want tae dae this alane or would ye like Scott in the room?”
It was the unspoken topic that Moira was brash enough to broach, she knew the two were not a couple. Sean had filled in the sordid details to which she wasn't already privy. This appointment was set up to ensure her and the baby’s health which had to include the comfort of the mother.
Aurora looked towards Scott, she was still angry deep down inside, but he’d brought her all the way here. She looked back at Moira. “It’s fine Moira, this is Scott’s son too. I just want to get answers, and make sure our son is okay.”
“Alright then, come alang ye two.” Moira opened the door to the exam room. It was dim so the ultrasound machine screen was better to view. A young woman covered in fish scales that resemble those of a goldfish sat behind the machine. She waved and smiled as the three of them entered the room.
“This is Diana.” Moira introduced them to the woman. “She’s a resident o' Muir and an ultrasound technician wha helps me wi' diagnostic work. But she cannae speak like ye or I can, much like ma dear Connor.”
"Hello, Diana," Scott said with a meek wave.
Moira picked up a hospital grade blanket that was draped across the exam table. “Haud a seat here, Aurora. Scott, ye can tak' the chair in the corner. Diana will turn aroond her screen now and again so ye can baith see.”
After Aurora’s bare stomach was exposed, warm gel was applied and the transfuser was placed on her stomach. The muffled and rapid wub-dubs of the fetus’ heartbeat filled the small dark room.
“Heart rate is in range,” Moria confirmed while Diana moved the transfuser and snapped half a dozen photos as she went. “And, aye, he's a lad.”
Diana flipped the screen around for them to both see. The round circles and white shadows of a rather nondescript baby in utero were presented before them. The little flutters and shakes of his form in profile moved on the screen in front of them.
"Can... can you elaborate on what I'm seeing here?" Scott frowned and squinted behind his visor.
"Wee lil' arms and legs just there and there," Moira said, pointing out each one. "Tae heed is the most prom'nent faeture thoo'."
Scott turned and grinned at Aurora. "Can you see?" he asked, his voice cracking a little from giddy emotion.
Aurora was transfixed to the screen. “I can see Scott, he’s...amazing!” She wiped away a few emotional tears. “How far Moira? I know his growth is accelerated, how far along is he?”
“Aye, gie me a wee moment tae tak some measurements.” Moria turned the screen back towards her and Diana before the room became silent while they worked for several minutes.
“He measures aboot whit we’d usually see fur a bairn at aboot twenty weeks gestation. His heart, spine an’ brain seem tae be developin’ as expected. As far as the due date goes, even that’s a bit o’ a guess in a traditional pregnancy. But if we tak his trends an’ put them intae a simple algorithm, Ah kin try an’ predict a date o’ birth.” Another pause as Moria wrote some numbers down on a pad of paper and worked out a rather long equation. She reached out for a desk calendar and counted out the dates. “If he keeps growin’ at the same rate, it looks like he’s due at the end o’ January or the beginnin’ o’ February.”
Scott winced. "That's right around the wedding..."
As soon as he'd said it, Scott regretted the unnecessary statement. His personal scheduling conflicts were not a necessary part of this moment. Even Moira shot him a raised eyebrow, silently questioning his good sense.
"Nary a guarantee," Moira added. "Bairns do as bairns please."
"Right," Scott said, still trying to pull the foot out of his mouth.
Aurora kept her emotions in check ignoring the comment about the wedding. “Twenty weeks? That’s incredible!” Her eyes were still transfixed by the image left on the monitor. “Can I...we...have copies of the scan image please Moira?” Her smile and wide eyed look said it all.
“Aye, o' course, lassie, ah'd planned oan it.” Moira said with a small smile. This whole appointment had been an awkward one and she was sure Diana could also feel the discomfort in the room. So she had to commend the both of them from putting the child first. It was the responsible and mature thing to do with all things considered. Selecting a few of the better images from the scans, Moira pushed a button and the thermal printer began to produce the desired photos. Duplicate copies made for each parent since they wouldn’t be going home together.
"Now that you've had a look, do you still think monthly exams are advisable?" Scott asked. "Maybe more, maybe less?"
“As o' noo, there’s nae owt particularly alarmin' in yer ultrasound. But if ye feel oot o' sorts or hae any bleedin', gie Dr. McCoy a shout and he kin work wi' me while ye’re still in New York. Otherwise, ye can come back in anither 6 tae 8 weeks. Ah think early December shoud be fine. We’ll dae some bloodwork as weel as anither ultrasound at that appointment and tak it frae there. O' course, if ocht else changes, gie me a shout and we kin bring ye back here early. It micht nae be a bad idea tae hae ye stay here towards the end o' yer pregnancy so when the wee one arrives, there’ll nae be a frantic scramble tae get ye tae the island. Especiall' in the winter, we get some bloody terrible storms then. D'ye hae ony mair questions?” Moira handed each of them a copy of the ultrasound photos as she finished.
Scott shook his head and looked at Aurora. She was the one bearing the brunt of this whole situation.
“I don’t think so Moira” Aurora shook her head. “Thank you for everything.”
"In that case, I think we should be on our way back," Scott said. "Thank you for everything, Moira. Next time Jean may be joining us, so we may stay longer."
"Ach... aye, thot would bae... lovely..." Moira seemed unsure of what to say.
Aurora kept a straight face, a true poker face, she wasn’t sure how she felt about Jean being involved as her son’s step-mother. It was something she and Scott would need to talk about. She stood up tidying her clothing as she did so ready to depart.
"Well, thank you for your hospitality, Moira, but we'd better start back," Scott said. "It's a long flight."
"Aye, though ye've only just arrived," Moira said glumly. "Wi' yer consent, Aurora, Ah'd like tae send yer test results tae Dr. McCoy. Ah believe he could keep a weather eye on ye until next time."
Aurora nodded. “That’s fine by me Moira. For what it’s worth I would have liked to stay a little longer, this place is fascinating.” She offered a warm smile. “I guess I should be catching up with Scott though.”
Scott had already disappeared back into the hangar.
Returning to the jet Aurora took her seat ready for departure. “Why the big rush? I guess you can’t wait to get back to Jean huh?”
"We're expected back," Scott said, avoiding Aurora's gaze. She had been mostly silent on their arrival. Was she going for the opposite on the way back? Her ire seemed to indicate as much. "We should keep to our commitments."
“Of course we should.” Aurora paused before the need to say her piece got the better of her. “I’m sorry if our son’s due date falls around the same time as your wedding. Hopefully it won’t spoil things too much for you.”
"It's our son's birth," Scott said, bringing the engines online and priming the stick for throttling. "He won't spoil anything. He's going to make everything better." He finally brought himself to look Aurora in the face. "Right?"
Aurora nodded. “Right, at least in some ways.” She paused. “To be honest I’m having trouble reconciling the fact that he’ll have a family life with you and Jean, his own room in your posh home, compared to what I can give him it’ll seem like a palace. That and...” she paused. “I’m finding it hard accepting he’ll have a step-mother.”
"I get that," Scott said at length. "But it's all something you need to accept. Jean is as much part of my life as the baby is." He paused before adding, "and as you are. We're not enemies here. It's not a competition. Everyone, including Jean, is on the same side. Our son needs a united front."
Scott punched the throttle which sent the jet forward onto the runway. He didn't bother with a vertical takeoff. There was plenty of room on the airfield for a traditional one. G-forces pushed them both back into their seats as the nose pitched upward and the fire-spitting fan frames propelled them into the air. Scott hit a steep ascent until they reached cruising altitude, at which point he eased off the gas and set them at a more relaxed pace above the clouds.
"You can give little Christopher things we can't," Scott said, picking up the conversation where the takeoff had paused it. "I basically grew up at the X-Mansion, you know. That's not something I could give our son, but you can."
“I guess.” Aurora nodded. “I just get to do it alone! Yes, you’re willing to be there for him as his father, but we won’t be the family unit that you and Jean will be. I’ll be a single mother raising a son on her own!” She tried not to let emotion creep into her words but it did nonetheless. “Don’t get me wrong, I want our son, Scott, but if I could lock away the memories of you and me, I would. I look at the two of you and I can’t help but hate what I see, that’s why I changed my hair because it gave me memories I don’t want to have.”
Those words cut Scott to the quick. Family was the one thing he had pined for his entire life because he had one just long enough to remember what he'd lost when it was snatched away in a tragic plane crash. Knowing that he had inflicted the same thing on Aurora, a fellow orphan who had nothing but added responsibility at the ripe age of 18, made him cringe with pity and regret.
"I'm sorry that you don't like who you are because of what we did." Not for the first time, Scott internally kicked himself. "I can't lie and say that having someone hasn't made the difference in me getting past the most horrible time of my life since leaving the orphanage. The person you met... that's not who I am."
His head shook a little as he pushed for words. "You said it was true love that drew you to me. If hate is what it's turned into, then I can't agree it was ever love in the first place. Love is what brought Jean back. I never did tell you that story. We almost died in the escape. The former owner of the Beat Street Club actually did. Love is what made Jean take me back after I betrayed her and left her for dead when you and I..."
Scott paused. There was no need to beat that dead horse.
"I can't give you what you want," he said at length. "I never could. If nothing else, though, I've never lied to you and I never will. What I can guarantee you, Aurora, that when you do find what you're looking for, you'll realize that us... what we had... was never really it." He sighed. "I know that's a cold comfort but it's the truth."
Aurora nodded. “I thought what we had was true love, why else would I have let you take my virginity?” She paused. “As for hating myself, I don’t hate myself as such I just hate that it wasn’t me you truly saw when you were with me. It was always Jean, I guess I knew it but I didn’t want to believe it. I’ll be civil to Jean, she’s being good enough to train me, but I’m not sure if we’ll ever really be friends. Maybe in the future, but not right now.”
For the full duration of the trip, Scott had held his tongue. Aurora was entitled to her feelings. She was going through a lot right now. His role was to be supportive, just as he'd promised. Nothing would make him back down from that. Biting his tongue, though? A man could only endure so much.
"Took your virginity," Scott repeated in a quiet, frustrated tone. "You let me take your virginity." He scoffed a little, the muscles in his throat flaring as he fought to keep cool beneath the collar. "Do you want to know what I let you take from me?" His volume control went out the window and fell back somewhere in the jet's afterburn. "My fucking marriage bed!"
Taking his eyes off the horizon, Scott look straight at Aurora and dished out the diatribe that he had been holding back the entire day. "I'm sorry I kissed you when I briefly thought you were Jean. I really am. But when you came into my dreams and offered yourself to me, that wasn't me taking anything from you. I didn't get up and come to your bed. You did that to me. I didn't know you were a virgin until after you snuck into my room and promised to take my pain away!"
His voice cracked with shame at how he had been so weak in that moment. "My mistakes are my own, Aurora, so I don't blame you or anyone else for what I did. But all this self-pity about how I never loved you isn't going to get you anywhere. No, I don't love you like a man loves a woman and I never did. I loved you like a man loves an animal who jumped in front of his car and feels indebted to help them get better. What are you doing to help me get better, Aurora? All you do is complain about my bride when she is the one who should be complaining about you! But she doesn't! Instead she insisted I leave her and our hurt friends alone after we almost got killed so that I could take care of you! Jean is better than either one of us! Our son should be so lucky that she has room in her great, big heart for him!"
Once the words were out, there was no taking them back. The bulge in Scott's throat bobbed up and down as he fought to regain his composure. Unsure of whether to apologize or double down, he instead stayed silent and said nothing.
“What am I doing to help you get better?” Aurora gave Scott a glaring look. “There’s nothing I can do! I can’t be there for you, I can’t love you! I can only stay the hell out of your way! As for Jean, I’m doing my best to accept her Scott, but it’s not easy. I’m sorry if I’m supposed to move on quicker than I am.” She paused. “Maybe us spending time together like this isn’t such a good idea.”
"That ship already sailed," Scott said, looking at her pregnant womb. "We've got a choice in front of us, Aurora. We can be mad at the past or we can look to the future. If you want to love me, then love me. The way you've been acting is not love and I sure as hell don't feel it. You are carrying my child, which is something that fills me with so many confused feelings that I don't think I could ever stay mad at you, not forever. I really want this to work and I'm doing everything I can to make that happen. What else can I do?"
“Nothing...” Aurora paused. “Scott, I...I’m sorry alright! I just...” She wiped away a few stray tears. “I want to be loved, I look at you and Jean, what you both have, and I feel so alone! Sure there’s the Professor and Connor, and the others at the Mansion but it’s not what we had, or at least what I thought we had. As for loving you, I do, so much it hurts!”
~She's not in love with me~ Scott thought to himself. ~She's in love with love~
"Love is something that I'm only beginning to understand myself," Scott said, looking for a way to be patient. "It's a big word and we use it so cover so many things. But sometimes the context is confusing. The heart really wants one thing, but we think it's another."
A rolling fit passed through Scott's stomach as he remembered the physical pleasure they had shared together. It had been so wrong that he couldn't even recall it without feeling sick in his soul. "I was so much younger than you when I came to Xavier's. I had time to grow into my new family as I grew up myself. But you had to grow up alone, bounced around until you finally struck out for yourself. You can't start a family of your own until you learn how to be part of one."
He wryly chuckled at present circumstances before continuing. "Well, you can, but it's not going to make sense. Jean and I were friends long before we became anything more. And we still are friends. That's still the foundation for everything we are. There's no one else I'd rather be near. You need to find that person for you, and it's not going to happen overnight. What you're really looking for... you've already found. It will just take time for it to grow into the dream come true that you want." After pausing for effect, he said, "When that day comes, Aurora, I'll be there to share in your joy. Hell, I'll even give you away at the altar if that helps any. Just don't give up on the future because you don't have it right now."
Aurora nodded as she finally took in what Scott was saying, it still hurt like hell that she wouldn’t soon feel the happiness she’d had with Scott, but she had her son. For now all her love and attention would be solely on him. She stifled a yawn before looking at Scott. “If you don’t mind I’ll grab a few minutes while we’ve got the chance.”
"Good idea," Scott said, ignoring his own yawn. "Just tap me if you need anything."
With Aurora's headset off, Scott was free to find a radio station. The Beach Boys was the first intelligible broadcast he found at this range. He had a long flight ahead of him and he was going to spend the portion of it solo. That was just as well. So many things had been said that he wasn't even sure about. All he wanted was to get home to Jean and hide in the shelter of her arms. For now, he had the Beach Boys.
"Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take ya,
Bermuda, Bahama, come on, pretty mama..."
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