Vespers on Ice

Posted on Tue Jan 14th, 2025 @ 10:02pm by Kennedy Kelly & Kurt Wagner

4,565 words; about a 23 minute read

Mission: Episode 5: Days of Fortune Past
Location: Breakstone Lake
Timeline: November 22nd, 1990

The ice skaters on Breakstone Lake cleared out and returned to the mansion once the temperature started to drop and the temptation of hot chocolate and dessert was offered. Leaving the frozen pond empty and serene in the moonlight, its thick ice feeling out of place amongst the dead leaves of fall.

Kennedy had stayed behind and continued to skate once everyone else departed. The expansive and perfect ice was too nice to pass up and now that the novice skaters had left, she was free to move without interference.
Kennedy moved in a fluid sweeping glide across the ice, the edges of her skates tracing delicate lines across the polished ice. She gained a bit of momentum before seamlessly transitioning into a series of crossovers, the movements smooth as silk. With each turn, her arms floated gracefully beside her, her body in perfect rhythm to music only she could hear. Another soft shift of her weight, and she took off with a soft spring into a single Salchow, graceful and light. Her body spinning in a tight controlled circle in mid-air before landing softly on the opposite foot with her arms elegantly outstretched. Kennedy was nimble and balletic as she skated, another outlet for her dancer’s heart to take wing.
She noticed Kurt on the edge of the lake, two mugs of hot chocolate in hands. Kennedy smiled at him as she made her way over to him. Her skates came to an easy stop on the slick surface.

“Is that for me?” She asked as she approached Kurt on the shore, her nose and cheeks pink from the crisp night air. “You didn’t have to do that.”

The grin on Kurt’s face was sheepish and sincere. “You did not come inside visth ze osthers und zhey vere not going to leave any for you.” He offered one of the steaming mugs. “Come, drink vhile ees still hot.” Looking down at her ice skates, he said, “You skate as vell as you dance. Vhy am I not surprised?”

“Thanks. We had a lake that froze over on our farm in Connecticut and I took lessons when I was younger. I’m no gold medalist but it’s always been fun.” Kennedy took the mug from him and sat down on the oversized log that had been dragged over to the edge of the lake as a makeshift bench. She held the mug in her hands and let it warm her before taking a sip. “That’s good. Thank you for thinking of me.”

Kurt and Kennedy spent a decent amount of time together between her training in the Danger Room and the occasional movie they went to. It had become easy enough for them to be considered friends but there was a difference between simply chatting with someone who traveled in the same circles as you and someone who went out of your way to find. Kurt was so sociable and charismatic it was hard to tell when he was acting beyond his normal ways.

“So, how was your first American Thanksgiving?” Kennedy asked while holding the mug close to her face, its warm steam kissed her nose and cheeks. “Was it everything you hoped it would be?”

Kurt chuckled softly at the question, his golden eyes gleaming in the moonlight as he turned his face toward the frozen lake. He cradled his own mug of hot chocolate between his hands, his long fingers wrapping around it and absorbed its warmth.

“It vas… lively,” he admitted with a hint of amusement. “Americans haff a talent for turning everyzhingk into a spectacle, do zhey not? Even gratitude becomes a feast vith mountains of food und strange customs. I’m not complaining, mind you,” he added quickly with a playful grin. “Zhe stuffing vas sehr gut. Und zhis pumpkin pie… I zhink it alone is vorth emigrating for.”

Kurt’s gaze turned thoughtful as he looked back at her, the stars reflecting in his irises. “Back home in Vinzeldorf, zhere is nozhingk like Zhanksgiving. Erntedankfest may be close to it. Gratitude ees more private, a prayer, a moment of reflection. Ve light candles for ze saints or share a loaf of bread visth our neighbor vhile ze children take to dancing instead of zheir regular games. To see it here, as a celebration, a feast, for no osther reason zhan ze love of family and each osther… it is strange, but… beautiful.” His tail swished lazily behind him as he spoke, a subconscious happy gesture.

He paused, glancing at her from the corner of his eye, the faintest hint of shyness in his expression. “But more zhan ze food or zhe traditions, it vas nice to be surrounded by people who care for each osther. Zhat ees vhat makes it special. Like zhis.” He lifted his mug slightly, his voice quieter now. “A moment by ze lake, good company, und ze varmth of kindness. For zhese zhings, I am grateful.”

Kennedy smiled from his words, the red lipstick she wore accentuated the curve of her lips and brilliant white of her teeth. She dared to meet his eyes for a brief moment before her gaze returned to the lake. “I like the quiet moments too.”

She took another sip of her hot chocolate and briefly sniffled from the cold. “I appreciate your perspective on everything, it’s nice. This is my first holiday season away from my family and our traditions and it hurts. Hearing about the things you like and the connections you see and feel between everyone…” Kennedy bashfully shrugged before she continued, the motion briefly hid her face in her fuzzy scarf, it reminded Kurt of a squirrel and its tail. “It makes me happy.”

Kurt inclined his head slightly, a gentle smile playing on his lips as he observed Kennedy's bashful demeanor. Her mannerisms were indeed winsome, full of a quiet charm that seemed effortlessly sincere. But Kurt, ever the gentleman, refrained from saying so directly.

“You are a delight, Kennedy, truly,” he said warmly, his tone carrying the same soothing cadence that often graced his voice. “Your appreciation for zhe beauty of quiet moments is a gift many overlook.”

He paused, his amber eyes softening as he continued, his voice more reflective. “In times of pain and loss, I turn to Scripture for solace. One passage I often hold close is zhis, ‘Blessed be ze God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so zhat ve can comfort zhose in any trouble visth ze comfort we ourselves receive from God.’”

His tail flicked idly behind him once again. “It reminds me zhat even in suffering, zhere is a consolation to be found. Sometimes ees in zhe people ve meet, sometimes in ze new paths of life. Vhile ze pain of Wanda’s disappearance veighs on my heart, it vas zhrough zhat loss I came to America, to Herr Professor’s noble cause. Zhis place has given me friends, purpose, and hope.” He gestured toward her with his free hand. “Consolation does not erase pain, but it does bring goodness in ees own way, if ve are villing to look for it.”

“Every Christmas my family would go and see The Nutcracker Ballet, it was something they did for me because they knew how much I loved that performance. With all the loss I’ve felt, I don’t know why not being able to go makes me so sad. It should be trivial but for some reason it isn’t.” Kennedy shook her head and laughed at herself a little, “I guess I should have the Professor tell me why.”

Kennedy looked into her almost empty mug, it wasn’t warm anymore but she didn’t feel cold. “But you’re right, we need to find the good where we are because there is goodness all around us.” Setting her cup down on the stump she stood up and offered Kurt a gloved hand. “Come on, skate with me.”

Kurt’s golden eyes softened as Kennedy spoke, her words carrying a bittersweet longing that he could feel even if he didn’t share the same traditions. He listened attentively, his silence respectful, offering no interruption as she laid bare her quiet grief. When she extended her hand, a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but instead of taking it, he disappeared in a puff of indigo smoke and a soft bamf.

Before Kennedy could protest, he reappeared almost instantly, holding a pair of scuffed ice skates that looked like they’d been buried in storage since the mansion’s inception. He dangled them in front of her with a sheepish grin.

“They are not ze most elegant pair,” he said, holding one skate up as though inspecting it for durability. “But zhey should do.” He placed the skates on the ground and slipped off his boots, quickly lacing the blades onto his feet with the same nimbleness he brought to everything. Once he stood, however, his balance wavered slightly, and he wobbled in an exaggerated motion that made Kennedy stifle a laugh.

Holding out his hand, Kurt bowed theatrically. “Kennedy, I am at your service. I trust you vill pull me onto ze ice before I lose my dignity entirely?”

“Oh please, how many times have you seen me tumble and fall from my own limbs getting in the way?” Kennedy said with a giggle as she reached out and took both of his hands to help him balance and stand on the ice. “We’re beyond that level of embarrassment at this point in time.”

With a few fluid and easy strides, Kennedy skated backwards and pulled Kurt along with her. Her hold on him helped keep his balance as they moved across the slippery ice. “Now stand up straight and keep your posture stacked so your hips are over your skates.” An act that was easier said than done as the slick surface provided no tension to help ground him.

“And don’t look down at your feet, that makes it worse. Look up at me.” She gave his arms a gentle shake to help bring his attention upwards as she continued to smile at him and his awkwardness on the ice. Even in the dim moonlight Kennedy’s hair was still a Harlow gold and her curls bounced in their high ponytail as she shook and nodded her head in response to his fumbled skating. The pink of her cheeks and nose accentuated the light dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose, lingering reminders of her love of the summer sun. But it was the color of her eyes that were the easiest to fixate on, taking on a shade of midnight blue in the poor light, her eyes changed color like the sea.

“Kurt!” Kennedy half shrieked and half laughed his name and his attention returned to ice skating. They both began to fall thanks to his loss of balance while he held onto her and in a clumsy mess they tumbled and slid across the ice together. “You were doing so well! What happened?”

Kurt groaned softly but laughed as he sprawled on the ice, tangled with Kennedy. His tail flicked against the icy surface as he propped himself up on one elbow, his other hand still clasping hers.

“I think I lost my focus along visth my balance,” he admitted, his voice laced with amusement. “And I did not even teleport to save myself! A rare oversight. It vas fun vhile it lasted, ja?” He pushed himself up, offering his hand to help Kennedy as well. “Now I see vhy you stayed behind on ze lake. It is… peaceful und, how you say, enchanted. No vonder you vanted to skate alone.”

“Oh no, I’m not getting up with your help.” She teased as she stood up on her own before reaching out for only one of his hands this time. Despite her joking, Kennedy became serene as he commented on the lake. Her eyes scanned the horizon and she took a moment to appreciate the naked trees and the shadowy landscape. The moonlight made everything a soft grey color including the silvery frozen lake. “Yeah, it is nice, is it?”

Kennedy looked over at him and noticed the faint glow of his amber eyes and she found herself finding them hauntingly beautiful. A realization that wasn’t uninvited but also wasn’t welcomed either.

“Come on,” she said while shaking off her intrusive thoughts. “I’m going to get you to skate around this pond at least one time before we go inside.”

Kurt’s amber eyes lingered on Kennedy for a moment longer than he intended, the moonlight casting a soft glow over her features. Her resolve to get him skating again was evident, but the tender moment they had just shared still hung in the air between them.

He let out a soft chuckle, nodding toward her. “Vell, visth such determination, how can I refuse? But I make no promises. If I fall, I vill take you down visth me, ja?”

His teasing tone was accompanied by a playful grin as he tightened his grip on her hand ever so slightly. With a bit more confidence in his stride, Kurt pushed forward, his wobbly skates gliding across the ice in a series of shaky but increasingly steady movements.

As they moved further out onto the lake, Kurt couldn’t help but steal glances at Kennedy. The serene beauty of the frozen landscape paled in comparison to the vibrant energy she seemed to radiate, even in the stillness of the night.

“Life, it has a vay of... pulling you avay from ze little joys.” Kurt’s voice was soft, almost hesitant, as if he feared breaking the spell of the moment. “God is gud to send us reminders.” He gestured toward the icy expanse, the stars reflected in its surface like a mirror to the heavens. “Moments like this. Peaceful, yet alive.”

“Is that why you always try to find the good in everything? Because it reminds you of God?” Kennedy asked as they moved across the ice, she watched Kurt’s tail swish in order to help keep his balance. Such an unfair advantage. But she was beginning to put all the pieces together in understanding Kurt. While he wasn’t exceptionally preachy he relied heavily on faith to provide him with positivity. He saw evidence of the divine in everything. Then again, what else would you expect from a former monk?

Kurt mulled over her question the rhythm of their skates on the ice created a gentle cadence for his search for the right words. Finally, he nodded, his expression contemplative.

“Ja, you could say zat.” His tone carried the weight of deep reflection. “St. Paul said, quoting an ancient Greek poet no less, ‘In Him ve live, und move, und have our being.’ Faith, you see, is not ze invention of Mother Church—it is merely yielding to a reality zhat even pious pagans knew before ze Church vas ordained.”

He gestured toward the night sky, the stars shimmering faintly above the frosty expanse. “St. Francis—ach, ze little friar—he believed ze reality of God’s goodness ees most clear in ze natural vorld. Creation itself, in all its beauty und mystery, is ze truest vitness to divine goodness. Ven ve forsake ze natural gifts of God to chase empty desires, ve create ze vacuum vhere evil can take hold. For evil is only ze privation of ze good.”

Kurt chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Ah, listen to me ramble. Old habits die hard.” He gave Kennedy’s hand a gentle squeeze, his expression warm. “But to answer your question simply: ja, all zhat is good reminds me of God because God reminds me of everyzhingk zhat is good. Ze two are inseparable, as ze reflection of ze stars cannot be separated from ze ice beneasth our feet.”

“I don’t think it’s rambling. I asked you a question and you explained yourself, that’s how we get to know one another.” Kennedy shrugged again but this time the motion was much more carefree than the shy action she had performed earlier. “I think it’s nice that you are able to find such balance and completion simply by appreciating what’s in front of you.” The slightly philosophical conversation wasn’t exactly how Kennedy had planned to spend her Thanksgiving but she enjoyed Kurt’s company and his outlook on life. There was a lot of hardship and pain at Xavier’s and Kurt was not immune to such adversities but it was nice to talk to someone who had found a certain degree of peace and tranquility in response to their personal tribulations.

Her thoughts returned to his departure, if he found Wanda again or even if he didn’t. “You’ve been away from the monastery for almost a month now, do you miss it? Do you miss your brothers?”

Kurt took a deep breath, the frosty air filling his lungs as he gazed out over the frozen lake. “It is not so much ze monks zhat I miss,” he admitted, his voice soft and reflective. “It is ze rhythm of life at ze monastery—ze silence, ze discipline, ze vay each day unfolded like a prayer in motion. My search for Vanda strained zat harmony, even sthough ze Abbot gave me special dispensation to pursue it.”

He sighed, shaking his head lightly. “It could not have lasted forever. Deep in my heart, I made peace visth zhat truth long before X-Factor came to me. Zheir offer vas… a boon. It allowed me to honor my vow to find Vanda vhile also sparing ze sanctity of ze monastery. I could not bear ze thought of my presence disrupting ze peace I held so dear.”

Kurt paused for a moment, his tail curling thoughtfully behind him. “Father Martin, Brother Stefan, even Brother Johan,” he said, referencing monks who had once been mentioned in passing during his time in the monastery. “Each of zhem shaped me in zheir own way. Father Martin, viz his unwavering kindness. Stefan, who alvays challenged me to zhink deeper. And Johan, who taught me zhat faith and humor are not so different after all. I am sure I remain in zheir prayers as often as zhey remain in mine.”

He turned to Kennedy, his golden eyes warm and curious. “Und you? Vhat do you miss most about your family?”

“Oh I don’t know if I can talk about that in too much detail. Tonight has been so nice and that will make me sad.” Kennedy confessed and he could almost feel that tug on her heart. “I have a little brother and sister. My brother is old enough to remember me but also young enough that he’ll believe anything he’s told about me. My sister, she’s so little, I think I’ll just become a fleeting memory for her. I miss them the most… not getting to see them grow up.” She paused for a moment as she steady and composed herself. Kennedy refused to spoil tonight with tears over a simple question. “I think that’s part of why I’m so sad about not seeing the ballet. That was something I loved that I could share with the people I cared about, a little part of me that became a part of them too.”

Ears flicking slightly, Kurt couldn’t help but be moved by the emotion in Kennedy’s voice. The subtle tremor, the effort to maintain composure—he felt her longing as if it were his own. Her words painted a vivid picture, and for a moment, he could almost see the younger siblings she described, their faces brimming with innocent curiosity and unconditional love. A pang shot through him, sharp and unfamiliar, as he realized he had no frame of reference for such a bond.

“My childhood vas… vell, solitary ees ze kindest word. The Order vas my family, of course, and zhen ze circus, but both pale in comparison to what you describe…” He felt something stir in him—something foreign, tender, and a little bittersweet. He hesitated, glancing at her, gauging her mood before carefully continuing. “Vould you vish to see zhem? Your siblings? Perhaps... to share even a small piece of your heart visth them again?” He offered her a tentative smile, his amber eyes glowing faintly in the moonlight. “Distance is... less of a problem for me. If it ees your desire, I vould take you to zhem.”

“That’s kind of you to offer but I have to think about what that means for them not just for me.” Despite her best efforts Kennedy became sullen and Kurt saw the change in her posture while she spoke. Had she not been holding his hand she probably would have resorted to hugging herself in an attempt to comfort her hurt. “My family lives a very public life, everything we do is examined and discussed in the media. I was labeled a problem after I stole that car and my mutant powers manifested, I am on probation because of those actions.” She hadn’t told him the details of her past but the summary painted a brief but rebellious moment. “I was sent away and everyone was told I needed strict discipline. Then when my father died, it was declared that I had a psychological break and I would need to be institutionalized. A perfectly tragic end and sympathetic explanation for why the oldest child is missing. The picture that has been painted is that I am not a safe person for my brother and sister.”

Kurt’s grip on her hand tightened ever so slightly, his touch a silent reassurance. His gentle smile remained, but there was a solemnity in his gaze that suggested he understood the weight of her words.

“Ze truth can be a heavy burden, ja?” he said softly, his voice low and soothing. “And yet, it can also be liberating, as a light chases avay shadows. Vhether it heals or harms depends on ze heart of ze one receiving it.” He tilted his head slightly, studying her expression. “I vould not presume to know vat ees best for your family, Kennedy. But perhaps... ze awful picture painted of you does not have to remain ze only one your siblings see.”

After a moment of quiet, Kurt inclined his head slightly, as though conceding the point without further argument. “My offer remains, but only if eet becomes your vish,” he added, his voice warm with understanding. “For now, ve can leave it as it ees.”

He gave her hand another small, encouraging squeeze before continuing, his smile turning a little brighter. “Ze vonderful thing about prayers ees zhat they are not hindered by distance or ignorance or prejudice. Your family need not hear or even know ze vords ve vhisper for zhem; zhey are carried in spirit all ze same.” His voice softened to a near whisper. “Zhat ees more zhan enough.”

“Maybe someday,” Kennedy replied in a wistful tone. “I’ve been working so hard to find my new normal, to be okay with who I am and what I am. To go back and see them and experience the have and the have not all over again, it’s just too much for me right now.” She offered him a weak smile, “But thank you, I appreciate the offer.”

She looked back behind them and noticed the distance they had traveled. The conversation they had had was enough of a distraction to prevent Kurt from over thinking his skating. “Hey, you know what? You’re skating.”

Kurt glanced down, startled to realize his feet were still firmly beneath him, not sprawled across the ice in an ungainly heap. For a brief moment, he marveled at how unusual his appearance must seem in this context: his long, prehensile tail swishing lightly for balance, his splayed feet barely contained within the ill-fitting skates, and his indigo fur catching the faint moonlight. He chuckled inwardly at the thought—he was about as far from a typical figure skater as one could get.

Still, the sight of himself upright and steady brought a flash of pride, and he laughed aloud, his sharp teeth gleaming. “Ach! Vould you look at zhat? Ze student has indeed become ze teacher!” He gestured grandly, holding his arms out wide like a theatrical coach basking in victory.

Tilting his head thoughtfully, Kurt added with mock seriousness, “Perhaps next, I vill show you ze secret of ze triple toe loop.” His balance wobbled slightly, and he quickly righted himself, his tail flicking behind him for support. He let out a sheepish laugh. “Or… perhaps I vill not tempt fate. Zhese feet of mine vere clearly not designed for skates, but I make do, ja?”

“Yes, you get by just fine.” Kennedy said with a laugh as she skated in circles around him before returning to his side. “And just like everything, practice makes perfect. We’ll have to ask Bobby to come back regularly to freeze the lake for us.”

“Indeed, und ve owe Bobby quite ze debt for zhis evening,” Kurt agreed. It ees a beautiful gift, ja? And a reminder of vhy zis place feels so special.” He gestured broadly at the serene surroundings, the crisp air, and the mansion over the rise beyond the dock. “Ze mansion is a haven, peaceful and still—very much like my monastery once vas. A place apart from ze chaos of ze vorld, a sanctuary.”

His gaze turned thoughtful, and he tilted his head slightly. “But vhy, I vonder, do ze First Class no longer live here? Zis place is so peaceful, so grounded. Surely, it vould offer them everything zhey need.” He paused, the question lingering in the frosty night air.

After only a moment, Kurt chuckled softly, his expression shifting into one of quiet understanding. “Ah, but I suppose I already know ze answer. Just as I left my sanctuary in ze monastery, zhey have left zhis sanctuary. Ve are drawn out not because zhere is something wrong vis ze haven, but because ze mission calls us beyond it.”

His smile returned, warm and genuine, as he glanced at Kennedy. “Still, zhis mansion… it has proven to be a vonderful refuge, filled vis such vonderful people. I think I vill call it home for quite some time.”

“I think everyone will be happy to hear that, myself included.” She took him by the hand again as she continued to smile at him, “Come on, let’s head back inside, maybe they left us some pie.”

“Nein,” Kurt said with a woeful shake of his head. “Zhat was gone even before ze hot cocoa, but I did hear zomezhingk about homemade ice cream from Bobby. Perhaps eez ready by now!”

“That’s okay, I don’t mind if we missed it, I had a nice time on the lake.” Now it was Kennedy’s turn to squeeze his hand as they skated back. “Thanks for spending some time with me Kurt, Happy Thanksgiving.”

"Und you as vell, Kennedy."

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