Upstairs Confessional

Posted on Sun Nov 19th, 2023 @ 8:40am by Scott Summers & Tammy Thompson

2,021 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 3: X-Tra Ecclesiam
Location: X-Mansion | Girls Dormitory/Attic Solarium
Timeline: August 14th, 1990 - evening

It was unusual for Scott to be on the girls' side of the second floor, but he had just escorted Aurora to her room so she could recuperate in comfort rather than in the subbasement medical suite. She would be fine physically. What had transpired between the two of them was a mounting concern to him. He had obligations of all kinds that were at risk over...

Scott shook his head to clear it and nearly walked right into Tammy. "Oh! Tammy, I'm so sorry. I... I wasn't watching where I was going." The look on his face was even grimmer than usual.

"It's ok. You look like you got a world of trouble on your mind! More so than usual! Want to talk about it?"

"No, I..." The refusal was instinctual, like a reflex, but Scott couldn't deny that he needed to talk to someone about what was going on. The Professor would have wise words, no doubt, but Scott didn't want to jeopardize his standing any more than he already had. There was Cameron, but truth be told he and Scott had never really talked much. Tammy here, on the other hand, took every opportunity she could to be friendly. Maybe a conversation wouldn't hurt. "Actually, Tammy... I think I do."

"Cool. So wanna go to my room? or do we go to yours or is there somewhere else we can go to talk?"

It didn't seem proper to go into her room, but at the same time Scott didn't really want anyone else overhearing. Thinking for a moment, another option came up to him.

"Come on," he said, guiding her to the end of the hall. There was an unused stairway that led to the attic. "We can talk up here and not be bothered."

TAG

The winding stairs led to a vaulted attic that was filled with various works of art and other family heirlooms kept safe in strongboxes or oiled burlap cloths. Beyond the storage areas, however, was a beautiful solarium. Along the east-facing wall and ceiling were thick storm windows topped by panes of stained glass which allowed for daylight to illuminate the dusty, old attic.

A handful of antique wingback chairs and candelabras on simple tables made for a makeshift sitting area that faced southeast in order to have the most daylight.

"Ever been up here before?" Scott asked.

"Nope. sure haven't. Haven't really explored much with all that was going on y'know! Nice and private up here! Kinda nice!"

Scott cracked a smile at Tammy's exuberance, a disposition he was growing accustomed to. "Yeah. Warren and Hank hung out up here a lot. Jean and I used to sneak up here when it was too cold to go outside and..." He trailed off. That was a topic he didn't want to discuss and yet needed to. "It's my fault they're gone. The Professor says it isn't, but I just can't see how that's true. And then... during the mission to Baltimore... somehow Jean reached out to me when Aurora was using Cerebro. She spoke through Aurora, Tammy, and... and I haven't been right ever since." He held his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do..."

"Okay, so she spoke to you through Aurora who was hooked up to Cerebro at the time. It sounds like she was able to reach out to you because of the boost Cerebro gave. I think she's still alive somewhere! As for what to do, not sure if you can do anything. You should find her and the others but I don't know how! Best thing I can say is never give up hope, Scott! These are your friends and you musn't give up on them. If she was able tor each out to you like that, then she has to still be alive. Maybe the Professor can try hooking up to Cerebro and seeing if he can make contact!" She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "You will get through this, Scott!"

"Cerebro hasn't been successful so far though," Scott said. "I don't understand how the Professor couldn't make contact but Aurora could." The next part felt very awkward to say but it was the part giving him grief. "Aurora feels bonded to me, whether through Jean or some other way. I... I don't know what to say to that." He looked at Tammy and wondered if he should be saying all of this to her. It was a little too late now. Words can't be taken back once spoken. "But I think I feel it too and I don't know what kind of person that makes me. I don't like the person that would make me."

"Bonded huh? I see. " Tammy's heart sunk a little bit at hearing that! "Well, I figure that there is something about aurora that let's jean tune in and talk to you. I dunno. It's probably something we haven't thought of. Scott, you're a good guy. I mean you have your feelings. Maybe I dunno, part of Jean is connected to aurora. I dunno. Stuff like that, I really don't know much about it. I don't think this makes you a bad person Scott. Maybe Aurora reminds you off Jean. I couldn't say for sure."

Scott shook his head. "But it's not right. It doesn't matter how confused I feel. It's wrong. I... I'm not a student anymore. Even if Jean is gone and isn't coming back, there are still lines I shouldn't cross." He gave Tammy a wan smile. "I'm sorry to dump all of this on you. It's driving me crazy trying to sort it all out and I just can't do it on my own." His smile perked up with a touch of gladness. "You've been very kind ever since you arrived and freaked me out with your K-COW prank. I'm sorry I haven't been the most cordial in return."

"S'ok. and no one is saying Jean is gone forever. I don't buy that," she said as her heart sank even more. Yeah, teacher/student lines and all that plus he seems to have a thing with Aurora or at least for her. Which probably meant she had no chance. Not what she was hoping to hear. Friend! Why did guys do that? She was being put in the friend zone and she hated it!

"Well, she's obviously alive," Scott said. "For now. And there's no way to find her. You saw what Department H did to Bobby up in Canada. There's a chance they may have only found him like that. Magneto destroyed the facility before we could find out. What if we find everyone else and they're not the same anymore? I'm sure not and I made it back..." He gave Tammy a firm stare and saw how deflated she looked. "I'm bumming you out. I'm sorry."

"Okay," she said, trying to put on a brave face. "Well, you can play 'what if?' all day long. The fact is you don't know. Don't worry about it right now. Worry about it if it happens."

"Heh..." Scott gave her an incredulous look that soon turned hopeful. "Just like that, huh? I can put it away and not worry about it until I have something to worry about?" That felt almost like betrayal for his missing friends, but right now Scott needed a lifeline. He had been sinking and fast. Now he had a wan half-smile. "How do you do it, Tammy?"

"Well, guess you just work at it. Try to focus on the things you can control. If you play the what if game it'll drive you crazy! Just try to understand you can't control it. Just try to hope for the best! Not easy but it can be done!"

Scott stared at Tammy thoughtfully. "I wish I had your optimism, Tammy. I really do." Shrugging away his fears, or at least making the attempt, Scott said, "Might keep me from being such a damn fool."

"Yeah, well, sometimes being optimistic doesn't stop you getting hurt," she sighed. "Guess that's life. You live and learn huh?" She was hurt that Scott wasn't interested in her. At least he way she had hoped. Well, as her daddy always said, "That's life. It can hurt real bad sometimes but you will survive!"

"Sounds like you've had your share of painful times," Scott said slowly, looking at Tammy with a thoughtful expression. He'd been a little self-centered this whole time. Clearly something was troubling her and he'd been focused on his own problems. Here she was being selfless, putting herself aside in order to be a friend to him in his time of need. The least he could do was return the favor. "You've been really kind to me, Tammy. If there's anything bothering you right now, I'd like to hear about it. You deserve that much."

"I'm ok. You made it clear you like Aurora and feel a connection with her. It is what it is and nothing I can do about it. So I guess I'll have to move on." What else could she say? It seemed pretty clear to her.

"Do... nothing... about it?" Scott repeated, his mind racing. Could she? No. But... maybe? Yes. Looking back now, it was so obvious that Scott wanted to slap himself for being so blind. Tammy was an extremely friendly person, but her behavior toward Scott was in hopes of more than friendship. "Tammy... I just met Aurora. We rescued her not even a week and a half ago. That's what makes what happened so... so strange and confusing." He reached for Tammy's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I love Jean. I have to believe she's still alive. Even if I could ethically become involved with a student here, my heart is broken and... and..."

Overcome with emotion, Scott turned his face away from Tammy. "You deserve someone who isn't broken, someone who can return all the love you have to give. Someone who doesn't wake up screaming at night. So does Aurora for that matter." Scott shook his head while staring at his feet. "You're a beautiful girl, Tammy. Inside and out. Don't let me destroy you."

"Hey, enough of that kind of talk! You have not ruined anybody! Now maybe you don't know what happened to your old teammates but that doesn't mean you have to blame yourself. Scott, I really like you and think your a great guy! But maybe you need to see somebody about this. If you're waking up screaming in the night. that's very bad. Scott we need you . You gotta get some help! Please!"

"I know," Scott said. "I do. I've been talking to the Professor about... most of it." He took a breath. "I appreciate your encouragement. I'll be fine. I want you to be okay too. I'm faculty. Even if not for Jean, it would be wrong for me to have a relationship with you or anyone."

"Uh huh! Let me point out I'm 18 years old so I think I have a good head on my shoulders! I think I know what I'm doing. Maybe you should give yourself a break. Something to think about!"

Scott grinned at her skunk. "You're right. I didn't mean to say otherwise. I'm just saying I can't go there."

"Uh huh! If you think I'm giving up this easy, you got another thing coming!" Tammy said with a wicked smile. "Eventually I won't be a student! Like I said, I'm 18 so I'm not that far away! Just saying!"

Scott laughed at her insistence which he took as playful teasing. "Never change, Tammy. You could brighten a cancer ward with your optimism. Thank you for the chat. I do feel a little better."

"Well, good! I'm glad I can help!" she said with a smile.

"I'm going turn in for the night." Scott stood up and headed toward the stairs. "Hang out as long as you want. Not many people come up here, so it's a good place to think. Have a good night."

RSS Feed