Walk the Line

Posted on Wed Oct 9th, 2024 @ 9:12am by Charles Xavier & Connor Bruin & Bliss Hawkins & Jean Grey

6,109 words; about a 31 minute read

Mission: Episode 5: Days of Fortune Past
Location: X-Mansion
Timeline: November 5th, 1990

Connor approached the woods with purpose, his footsteps barely audible on the soft forest floor. The sun filtered through the trees in dappled patches, casting light over the strange scene that came into view as he stepped closer to Bliss's makeshift camp. She was standing in front of what looked like a half-constructed lean-to, a woodland structure hardly more than a few logs stacked together with awkwardly twisted twine for support. She hadn’t been using tools, so Connor knew immediately it was her tactile telekinesis at work.

The battle with the Hellfire Club had been most unexpected. No plan, no forewarning, just direct action. And everyone had acquitted themselves fairly well under the circumstances. There were lingering questions that needed to be answered. Where did they stand? What had happened between them? What remained unsaid? What did the future hold?

Bliss didn’t see him at first. Her brow furrowed in concentration as she gently nudged a loose branch into place. There was a quiet determination in her movements, a sense of isolation that mirrored the distance that had grown between them. Even before their breakup, Bliss had begun to withdraw, and this—this unfinished, lonely construction—seemed like a reflection of that.

Connor hesitated. His speech-generating device hummed softly in his hand, and the words he wanted to say were already typed out. He’d thought about this for days, running through a dozen different conversations, but nothing had prepared him for this moment. Seeing her like this, struggling with whatever she was building, tugged at something in him.

In the end, he saved the sentence and opted for his haptic-glove handsigning. "HELLO, BLISS."

Bliss turned at the sound of the voice modulator, offering Connor a genuine smile.
"Hey, you. Welcome to Hawkins' Hideaway."
She turned to start piling some wood in an obvious fire pit.
"What brings you out here? I've got some hot chocolate and cider if you don't mind waiting for my little cooking fire to heat up."
She sat down on a store bought mat and gestured towards another.
"Is this an official visit? Or are you just checking on your ex?"

Her tone was light and friendly, no bitterness in her voice at all.

There were so many reasons he was there that Connor couldn't list them all in a timely manner. Instead he just nodded. "YES," he signed, "TO EVERYTHING."

He sat down on the mat next to hers. Where to begin? Maybe with the most recent thought. "YOU WERE INCREDIBLE AT THE HELLFIRE MANSION. WHEN YOU WENT THROUGH THE FLOOR THE FIRST TIME, I FEARED THE WORST. THEN YOU CAME BACK UP ONLY TO FALL AGAIN. EACH TIME YOU PULLED THROUGH AND CAME BACK." He held her gaze then, blues eyes meeting green. "I REALIZED WE NEEDED TO TALK BECAUSE THERE ARE THINGS LEFT UNSAID."

Would she agree? Bliss was nothing if not unpredictable. Connor gave pause as he studied her reaction to his thought processes.

Bliss nodded to the action evaluation from her team leader. She kept feeding scraps to the fire until it was good and crackling.
"I appreciate that, that was a tough fight. You know I don't have any quit in me."

She knew he meant more than just the fight but she wanted to let him work it out on his own, get the poison out of his system. She touched his knee before withdrawing.
"No better time than now than to say them. Go ahead."

"WHAT HAPPENED TO US?" That was the most pressing question on Connor's mind. "I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUT HERE BUILDING THIS WITH YOU. INSTEAD YOU TURNED INsular. DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?"

Bliss sighed with clear regret even as a thick slice of log rolled dutifully into the fire.
"Connor, you were collateral damage. I've never properly dealt with my history of abuse, and our recent actions in the field made my pain boil up like an infection of my soul. I turned away from everyone, feeling as if I had hurt everybody with my weakness. I couldn't find a way to heal on my own. And when you broke up with me, after if been told not to be a distraction to you at this critical time, I thought it was the right thing to do. I nearly left the school, and get away. But honestly I have nowhere else to go."

That was a longer description of events that Connor already knew, so he just nodded. Maybe she would say something else once she got going.

She warmed her hands as she studied the flames.
"So I was at a moment. I could ask for help, or continue down a path that I saw nothing good coming my way. The professor pointed me in the right direction and I started some therapy. It was like lancing an infection. I had to drain away the poison inside me before it killed me. I won't say I'm cured, but I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. It's a work in progress. Building this out here allowed me to work through my pain in some kind of physical way. I know it's probably a joke to everyone, but it kept me away and occupied my mind rather than more negative thoughts."

"I AM GLAD YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE," Connor said. The metaphor of an infection inside her certainly made sense. She'd seemed beside herself. It made him wonder if her cynical views of the X-Mansion and the Professor were persistent or if they had been drained away in the pain and trauma she had released. "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING HERE NOW?"

Bliss didn't respond right away, clearly modeling the question in her mind.
"I still have some unpopular perspectives. There's a serious lack of honesty that rubs me the wrong way. I also recognize that there's literally nowhere else for me to go. And if I have a choice between the Master of Magnetism and his pack of acolytes and here, I'll choose here every time. At least there's the resemblance of self-determination, even if lessons can be heavy-handed here."

As he listened, Connor stared at the fire. That seemed fair enough. Other than the lack of honesty remark. But Bliss was finally talking. He wasn't going to interrupt.

"I also recognize that the Professor is trying to do good here as best as he can. And I want to contribute to that effort. Are things perfect here? Far from it. But I also realize that this is the best option I'm going to get."

Connor nodded. Her commitment to the team and its ideals might seem sketchy on the surface, but she had already proven more loyal than Jace.... and Jade... and Tammy... and Katy... and Sonya. On and on it the list went. That was something.

"YOU HAVE EARNED YOUR PLACE," Connor signed at length. "JUST AS MUCH AS ANYBODY ELSE. THE TEAM IS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU." His chin quivered slightly as he asked his next question. "WHEN DID YOU STOP LOVING ME?"

Bliss shook her head with a sad smile.
"You sweet, tender boy. Connor, I never stopped loving you. You ran away, and said you only wanted to speak to me only regarding training and other team business. So I honored your request, and simply put the pain of your rejection on my pile of issues. This isn't my first time going through this. And I understood why you felt that way. I wasn't going to beg forgiveness for something I was already suffering through. Loving someone means understanding. You're not quite there yet."

"YOU WERE KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME," Connor replied. "AND YOU SAID TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT PROFESSOR X AND THE X-MEN, THINGS THAT WERE NOT TRUE AND SOUNDED MORE LIKE MAGNETO THAN I THOUGHT YOU CAPABLE OF SOUNDING." He bit his lip as his signs turned fast and furious. "WHY ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF REJECTING YOU WHEN YOU REJECTED ME? YOU AVOIDED ME FOR SO LONG. EVERYBODY SAW IT. OUR BODIES WERE IN THE SAME ROOM BUT YOUR THOUGHTS WERE FAR FROM ME. THEN YOU SAID YOU WERE BAD FOR ME AND NEEDED TO STAY AWAY. I DID NOT RUN AWAY. I GAVE YOU WHAT YOU ASKED FOR. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME DIFFERENTLY NOW? I DON'T UNDERSTAND."

Bliss looked at Connor with a penitent expression.
"I got some things wrong, and I made some bad decisions. I'm working on myself and I hope you'll forgive me in due time."
With that she turned her gaze back into the crackling fire.

What did that mean? Connor furrowed his brow even deeper. Before it had sounded like Bliss was telling Connor that he had said or done something wrong, then that he had remembered it wrong, and finally that he just wasn't understanding. But now when he asked her to make him understand, she said that she made bad decisions from getting something wrong. It was enough to make his head spin.

"WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES," Connor said, trying to be more understanding. "I WANT TO FORGIVE YOU. I..." The speech-generating device trailed off along with his hands. How did he come out and ask the question that had plagued him for so long? There was only one real way to do it. Directly. "I HAVE TO ASK YOU IF BOBBY WAS ONE OF THOSE MISTAKES. HE TOLD ME SOMETHING HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU TWO.".

Bliss frowned and rubbed between her eyes at the new throb that was growing behind her eyes.
"Yeah, I pulled a stupid prank on him. I'll apologize to him, he's on the short list anyway. What did he tell you?"

"HE WAS VERY RUDE AND I DID NOT WANT TO BELIEVE HIM." Connor's eyes turned red with unshed tears. "HE SAID THAT YOU TOOK HOLD OF HIM AND THAT YOU WOULD LEAVE ME. I WAS SO WORRIED HE WAS RIGHT."

Bliss's grown deepened.
"I grabbed him, yes, and I will apologize and submit myself to the authorities for due punishment for my crime. As for the rest? I have been faithful to you, and I continue to be. To say otherwise is a lie and slander. Tell him to retract his lie or face justice."

"HE DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ELSE," Connor signed, shrugging between his handsigns. "JUST INSULTED YOUR HONOR IN A MOMENT OF TEMPORARY INSANITY. IF YOU ARE SORRY, WE CAN TALK TO PROFESSOR X ABOUT THAT. HE WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO." He paused and began to look all around the woods for a moment, at the leaves on the ground to the bare branches to the gray sky. Everywhere but at Bliss. "I WANT TO FORGIVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING. I AM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND SO THAT I CAN. I JUST NEVER THOUGHT..." Memories went through his mind from their romantic rendezvous and dates in town. Amidst all the fun they had together were black clouds where Bliss tried to warn him that he might get tired of her one day, that he would see she was no good and unworthy. He had chivalrously assured her otherwise, but he began to see there were entire aspects to love that he had been unprepared for, like how it felt when a partner cheated and called it a prank. "YOU TOLD ME THE TRUTH. THAT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME EVEN IF IT HURTS. NOW THAT I KNOW FOR CERTAIN..." Connor thought for a moment to consider his feelings. How often had Bliss hurt him or others in the name of fun and humor? As beautiful and lively as she was, he now saw a dangerous element as well that she had to learn to control if he was ever to trust her with his heart again. "I WANT US TO START OVER AGAIN. WE CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST BUT WE CAN ALTER THE FUTURE BY RESETTING THE PRESENT. WE ARE X-MEN AND WE ARE GOING TO LIVE UP TO THE NAME." He looked at her with a grim resolve as if unsure of what she would say to that.

Bliss listened to Connor with her full attention. No matter what, she wanted to make sure they could salvage their friendship at the very worst. She loved him, and she knew deep down he was better off without her. He deserved a far less damaged person to love. But who knows? She gets help, and they reestablish trust? It was worth the effort.

"I'm willing to try."

"GOOD." Connor nodded in acknowledgement, then waved her to follow. "LET'S GO TALK TO PROFESSOR X."

"Sure. Let's do this."
She smothered the fire and got to her feet. It's always best to be humbled before supper, that way your digestion can recover from the hearty servings of humiliation and shame. Just remember, Indiana Jones taught us that the pentient man escaped the sharp blade.

---

As Connor led Bliss back inside the X-Mansion, he kept a steady stride that held his confidence in the Professor's ability to set things right. Whenever Bliss faltered or lingered, he would grab her hand and tug her along until she kept pace again. They had different perspectives on how the situation was going to be resolved, but that didn't matter to Connor. His beliefs did not require her to share them. The fact she trusted him was enough for now.

The door to Professor Xavier's office was open, which allowed for echoes of voices to meet them halfway down the hall. It sounded like Jean was with him. Connor urged Bliss forward. "O-K," he said aloud. His eyes affirmed that belief. Everything would be okay.

"Oh, Jean, I would be delighted," the Professor said with a happy tone he reserved for beloved relationships. "Please tell me more."

A brief lilt of laughter came from Jean over how enthusiastic Xavier was about her proposed wedding plans. “I’m happy to hear it. The outdoor tent and lighting will be set up the day before and that night Bobby will make it snow.” Her voice took on a dreamy sort of tone as she continued, “If it turns out like I’m envisioning it, the mansion will look beautiful. The flourist arrives at ten the next…” Jean trailed off as she picked up on Connor and Bliss as they approached. The mood between was tense.

~* ‘Do you want me to leave?’ *~ Regardless of Charles’ answer Jean packed up her day planner and put it into her purse. Their wedding in January would have to wait.

~No. There is no telling how long this will be and you may yet be of assistance~ The Professor took a moment to gather the general tenor of the two students who were outside the door. It was rather solemn.

"Connor, Bliss, please come in," Xavier said. "Close the door when you do."

Connor did as instructed and shut the door behind them.

When he turned around, the Professor gestured toward empty chairs. "Please sit down. What seems to be the trouble?"

"WE NEED YOUR ADVICE," Connor signed, but then he looked at Bliss instead of saying more.

Bliss met Connor's look before looking to the two telepaths. "I have committed a crime, and Justice must be served. I recognize now that a stupid prank I performed against Bobby was a form of sexual assault. I recognize that being a sexual assault survivor myself, I only continued the cycle myself. I would be a hypocrite to crave justice for myself and yet escape it myself."

While she spoke, Xavier and Jean exchanged thoughtful glances. The room practically resonated with their telepathic exchange.

"I wish to turn myself in to appropriate authorities," Bliss finished, "and to be punished as the law allows."

"Thank you for your candor, Bliss," the Professor said at length. "You understand, of course, that we have some questions for you before we can determine how best to address this matter."

Connor sat stiffly at Bliss's side. This was extremely awkward and yet he knew there was no other way it could be, not if Bliss was going to get better. Even so, he tried not to squirm under the anxiety of the moment.

"In your own words," the Professor began to ask, "can you explain what you believed to be a prank and what changed your thinking to view it as something else?"

"Of course." Bliss shifted in the seat before speaking once more. "Connor, Iris, Bobby and myself were in town eating a meal. I didn't like Bobby, and he sat next to me. Bobby was being Bobby, but that's no excuse. I used my power to...touch his privates. Not with force, but with... sensitivity. As you can imagine, he didn't react well."

Bliss looked out towards the gray skies through the windows. "Snow's coming. As for why I've had a change of perspective? I read a book. Several, actually. I can make every excuse. He overreacted, it was a joke, he was a fool to reject any attention from a pretty girl, and so forth. It didn't change the reality that I overstepped and committed a crime."

Jean exhaled heavily through her nose, the revelation was not new to her. She had been meeting with Bobby on a regular basis and the two of them addressed his issues together on the astral plane. It was hard and fast moving therapy but even then, it still took time.

Jean couldn’t help but feel like Bliss seemed disjointed from this conversation. “It’s very hard to turn that mirror upon yourself for reflection. Are you here because you want to be or because Connor asked you to be?” Jean paused for a moment and then decided to better clarify. “You’re here and taking accountability, which is commendable but I just want to better understand why this is coming out today and with Connor present. I would like some insight into your journey so I can know you better.”

Bliss raised an eyebrow at Jean's query. "Ask Connor. He lost faith in me, and he proposed a clean start. He literally dragged me up here so I could confess my sins. I'm here to do just that. Is my timetable in question? Is that it? I've lived with shame since I was seven, maybe younger. I'm mad at myself for getting into this in the first place.

"If your problem is with Connor being here..." Bliss nodded towards the door. "I'm not exactly feeling supported at the moment. I want to do the right thing, and I'm trying to do just that. Do you think my arm is being twisted?"

Bliss was clearly becoming more frustrated by the moment. "Look, what do you want from me, the whole ashes and sackcloth routine straight out of the Bible? Look, I've had court appointed counselors. They did Dick for me. I did something wrong, I'm confessing and all but demanding appropriate punishment. And you don't believe me, or why I'm confessing, or something."

Bliss ran her fingers through her hair. "Look I know I've done a bad thing. Is it wrong for me to try to grow beyond that? To want to be more than just....this. How different am I from the people we fight? Did they all have one bad day, like me, and for some reason no one would let them get past it? Or is this it for me? I'm marked for life here, and there's nothing else I can do about it?"

“Take a minute and take a breath.” Jean interjected, Bliss was spiraling and jumping to a lot of conclusions in a short period of time. “No one is asking you to endure biblical levels of atonement nor is anyone asking you to leave. I didn’t mean to give you that impression, Bliss. I am trying to understand you better. Telepathy offers insight into a person but so do words. I’m asking hard questions because I want to know your thought process and your state of mind.” Jean crossed her legs at the ankles and shifted in her seat a little as the anger and fear began to grow inside of Bliss. This was uncomfortable for Bliss and Jean was trying to be sensitive to her feelings. “I have no problem with Connor being here. If he is your support system and you want him with you, he can stay. I think Connor is trying to be a good friend to you, including dragging you up here to confess your sins.”

Jean paused for a moment before she continued with her next question. “You mentioned not feeling supported and you have expressed some distrust towards the school. That in the past, no one has been able to help you, and that you think we’re done with you. Everyone in this room wants to help you overcome this cycle you’re stuck in, no one is pushing you away or giving up on you even if it feels like that sometimes. But if you don’t trust us or this school, it’s going to be hard to connect. Is there anything you want to talk about in regards to your position at the school and as an X-Men?”

Bliss tamped down the anger that threatened to make her efforts a waste of effort.
"I'm sorry."
She took a calming breath before answering Jean's second round of queries.
"I ask you to understand my life before I came here. Trust in authority--foster parents, and the system that supports and enables them? For me? That's been destroyed. I'm starting from scratch with a new authority here. In my time here, I've seen my own government is trying to control me or kill me. My other choice is a megalomaniac threatening to destroy the world from his private asteroid. My Choices are death or slavery. The school presents my only opportunity to have chance at a normal life. "

"I don't like secrets. Bad things hide behind the label of secrets, especially when I'm expected to risk my life in the battles that we routinely fight in the name of those hidden shadows.*

" I've risked my life multiple times for the cause this school supports. I know I'll do it again as soon as tomorrow. And I embrace that. I'm a patriot for my species. I have fought directly for the professor, and he knows that I would give my life to save him should that be necessary."

"I do this not because I'm asked to do it. I did it on my walk from Vegas to the school with countless numbers of mutanta who needed help that I encountered along the way. I did that because it was the right thing to do. I came to the school to learn how to do even better. I care about everyone who lives here, from the smallest child to the veterans like yourself, Miss Jean. You know all too well how much crap I've giving your very own fiance. I don't do that out of random anger. Do you know what I would have given to have an older brother like Scott? He's not perfect, none of us are. And when you see your heroes have feet of clay, as they say, disappointment is always going to be sharply felt in my heart. I hope I can make up for my mistakes. You tell me if I can do that here."

Professor Xavier remained silent for a long moment, his gaze steady and piercing. He clasped his hands in front of him, speaking softly but with the authority of someone who had seen far more than he ever wished to. His voice was calm yet resolute.

"Bliss," he began, "you claim that you have no choice but to be here, that this school is your only opportunity for a normal life. Yet, we both know that isn’t entirely true. You’ve walked from Las Vegas to here. You survived—more than survived—you thrived along that journey, helping others as you went. You have proven that you are capable of handling yourself, even outside the walls of this school. So let us be honest with one another. You are not here purely out of necessity. You are here because you chose to be here, because you see value in what this place offers, even if you refuse to admit it."

He paused, watching her reaction, then continued.

"You speak of sacrifice, of risking your life for a cause you believe in, but you undermine your own contributions with this martyr complex. You speak as though you are some victim of circumstance, but in truth, you are being gifted an incredible opportunity here. You are not powerless, nor are you without agency. But as long as you allow yourself to be defined by cynicism, by the bitterness of your past, you are doing yourself a disservice. This school, these people—they are not a safety net for you to hide behind. This is a place for growth, for becoming something greater. You have to see it for what it is, not what your fears and doubts twist it into."

Xavier’s expression softened slightly, but his words remained pointed.

"I am not a priest, Bliss. I do not absolve sins or deliver penance. My role is to mentor upstanding individuals, imperfect as we all are, to learn from their mistakes and become better for it. But that requires a shift in perspective. You cannot stay trapped in a cycle of self-pity or blame-shifting. If you see only the problems, you will never find the solutions. If you cling to this narrative that you are a victim of circumstances beyond your control, you will never rise above them."

He let that sink in before pressing on.

"You claim to believe in our cause, and yet you repeatedly refer to us as a militia of child soldiers, as if we are leading the young to slaughter. You accuse me and this school of dishonesty, of harboring some hidden flaw. But I suspect that this judgment comes from within you. You are projecting your own self-doubt and imposter syndrome onto those around you because it is easier to do that than to face the deeper issue: you do not believe you deserve this place, this opportunity." His voice grew softer, but no less firm. "Bliss, if you wish to be part of something greater, you need to look outside that box of cynicism and fear. Otherwise, you will accomplish nothing more than protecting yourself from both success and harm."

Xavier leaned forward slightly, his gaze unwavering.

"What you lack, Bliss, is gratitude. Not for the school or for me, but for the life you have been given. That lack of gratitude is what will lead you down a path you despise. Without a dream, without hope, you will become the very people you claim to hate. Look at Magneto. His dream, however flawed, keeps him from becoming a weapon of pure destruction. Without it, he would have long since torn the world apart. But you? You have no such dream, no ambition to channel your anger, and without that, the chip on your shoulder will consume you. If you do not take active steps to change your perspective, you will become twice the villain you know Magneto to be."

He leaned back slightly, giving her a moment to digest his words.

"So, I ask you, Bliss. Do you want to be a force for change? Or do you want to let this bitterness lead you down a path of self-destruction? The choice, as it always has been, is yours."

Bliss had been listening closely to the professor. Some of it confused her, like imposter syndrome. She hadn't gotten that far in her reading. But when he asked her point blank what she wanted, she considered the question with due diligence. "I don't want to be angry and bitter. Some days it's ... overwhelming. I don't want this life, what fool would?"

She pushed up from her chair to stand at the fireplace. The crackling from the wood was comforting. She studied the fire.
"I don't want to go down the path you're describing. I want to change but I don't know how. " She took another breath.
"I want another path."

Professor Xavier regarded Bliss with a calm, thoughtful expression as she stood by the fireplace. Her words licked at the air like the crackling flames before her. He let the silence linger for a moment, allowing her honesty to settle in.

"Bliss," he began, his voice soft but resolute, "I understand the weight of what you're carrying and the confusion that comes with it. Anger, bitterness—they are powerful emotions that can cloud our vision by twisting our sense of self. But the fact that you want another path, that you desire to change, is the first step toward transformation."

Xavier leaned forward slightly, his eyes never leaving her. "You mentioned not knowing how to change, and that’s quite all right. None of us are born knowing exactly how to walk the paths we choose. That’s why I’m here to help guide you, and why I'm setting some clear boundaries so you don't fall deeper into the feelings you're fighting against."

He clasped his hands together and continued. "I've been in contact with the office of Dr. Karla Sofen, your psychiatrist, and it has come to my attention that you've missed your last two appointments—one in the middle of October and another just a few days ago. Now, I know that your separation from Connor has been difficult..."

At this, Connor bowed his head, his face clouded with grief.

"But, Bliss, it is precisely during these hard times that your mental health becomes even more important." Xavier paused, letting his words sink in. "Here’s what I’m prescribing: You will continue to read and journal your thoughts—those are wonderful practices for self-reflection. However, you will also commit to keep every standing appointment with Dr. Sofen, as well as begin indefinite volunteer hours with the Sisters of Quiet Mercy in New York City. They run a women's shelter out of St. Agnes. I will speak with Father Lantom and he will make arrangements with the Mother Superior. You’ll follow their guidance and orders, and through service, you may find a sense of purpose outside of yourself, a way to release some of that anger."

His tone became firmer. "Let me be clear, Bliss: if you deviate from these commitments, I will have no choice but to bench you. Not as a punishment, but because, as I did with Cyclops during his mental health crisis, I cannot in good conscience let you continue without addressing your well-being first. You must not only show me that you're committed to becoming your best self; you must show yourself that as well."

Xavier relented somewhat, his expression gentle but unwavering. "I'm not here to judge anyone who is actively working on bettering themselves, Bliss. In fact, I advocate for it. But I won’t shy away from acknowledging that a corrupt person has already condemned themselves. You are not corrupt, but you are at a crossroads. And I’m here to help you make the right choice—to guide you toward the best version of yourself."

His gaze softened as he added, "I believe in you, Bliss. What do you have to say?"

Bliss listened carefully to the Professor, nodding with a sober expression through each new requirement. She saw them more as a hurdle to endure, knowing not how the tasks before her would help but she would endure them nonetheless.

She withstood the words like a prisoner subjected to the lash, feeling the cuts but refusing to bow to the pain. But it was his last words that brought her literally to her knees.

Was it this that had driven her to take the hardest path from Vegas to the school? She had the means to take a bus, or even a luxury aircraft to her destination. But she had chosen to walk and help people along the way as she could. Had she unconsciously and trying to do to yourself that which the professor was demanding of her to move forward? Her efforts had failed her, so she resolved to meet his challenges with everything in her heart.

Bliss braced herself against the wall next to the fireplace. Stinging tears filled her eyes as his words wrapped around her heart. She couldn't recall a single authority figure on her life that offered hope in such supportive a manner. To most it would be simple encouragement. To Bliss it was everything. Her normal tone of confident bluster was gone, replaced with a quiet sound of new hope.
"You....believe in me?"

"Of course he believes in you, we believe in you, Bliss." Jean chimed in once more now that Xavier had gotten to the root of it all. Her voice was kind and warm as she spoke to Bliss. "That's why we're all here, because we believe in you and want to support you."

"I NEVER STOPPED," Connor signed.

The trio looked over at Bliss by the fire, pensive Connor in the dark leather chair next to the one she had left, demure Jean on the couch with her straight posture and crossed legs, and sagacious Xavier behind his desk with steepled fingers and kind eyes. They were a room full of people who cared about her and wanted her to thrive.

"It seems you have your answer," Xavier said. "I'm afraid I must insist on having mine. Do you understand and agree to these terms as I have stated them?"

Bliss drew herself to her full height and squared her shoulders. "I agree."

"Then I have some calls to make," the Professor said. "Bliss, Connor, you're excused."

Connor stood up and nodded at Xavier. "THANK YOU, PROFESSOR X."

"Indeed..." the Professor replied with a suppressed sigh.

Looking at Bliss, Connor said, "DO YOU WANT ME TO WALK YOU SOMEWHERE?"

Bliss, her mind fully occupied with the events of the last few minutes, nodded and headed out of the office.
"Sure, if you like. I know you're busy."

"I AM BUSY WITH YOU," Connor signed back. "WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?"

He heard her stomach rumble from across the room.
"I don't remember when I ate last. Maybe there's some leftovers."

She seemed in a bit of a daze, her mind turning over the events. The pair moved into the hallway
"It can't really be as easy as just saying I want a fresh start. Yeah I know there's appointments to keep and nuns to placate. There's always nuns to placate."

As Connor walked her to the kitchen in search of leftovers, he pondered her question. He didn't even know how their relationship began in the first place. When she had her mental breakdown after what sounded like a terrible experience with the Maggia, Connor was fraught with worry. Losing one's mind sounded like a fate worse than death. He had written a poem in her honor and even lit a candle as some people did in memory. But then she came back. That gesture had moved her so deeply that she came looking for him and, well, they had hit it off.

"HOW DO YOU CAPTURE LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE?" Connor asked her at length. "WE CAN ATTEMPT TO RECREATE THE CONDITIONS OF ITS FIRST STRIKE BUT THERE IS NO GUARANTEE. LIGHTNING CAN STRIKE AGAIN OR IT MAY NOT. PERHAPS THAT IS ALL WE CAN DO. WE POSITION OURSELVES RIGHTLY AND LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE."

Bliss pulled a pan of meatloaf out of the fridge along with a sealed container of mashed potatoes. She began to prepare two plates full.
"I don't know how this works. I'm just so sorry you got hurt. I care about you so much. I just think if we're kind to each other, maybe some healing will come. At the very least I want us to be friends. The rest can grow from there if possible."

Reaching out to take her hand in his, Connor gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I WOULD LIKE THAT."

" Yeah..."
Bliss gave him a sad smile, returning the reassuring grip. She felt like a wrung out used paper towel, trying to be strong and definitely not feeling up to the task. But she had made the deal. She needed a fresh start on life somehow. This had to be it.

END

 

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